20 Father’s Day Posts That Will Knock Your New Balances Off

By Published On: June 16th, 2023

We're bringing you the ultimate list of dad jokes to celebrate Father's Day.

Every year, in the last days of spring, come the familiar sounds of lawnmowers, leaf blowers, and Weedwackers starting up (usually earlier and earlier in the day). This symphony is essentially the unofficial mating call of suburban dads across the country as they try to outdo one another, flaunting the latest and greatest outdoor equipment they will use to maintain their pristine lawns.

The fresh grass clippings that line the sidewalks and blow in the breeze are little reminders that Father’s Day is near. And what better way to honor the day than with some dad humor? Hold onto your cargo shorts and get ready to rock ‘n roll because we’ve rounded up some of the most hilarious Father’s Day tweets and memes to help us celebrate some very deserving fellas.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Ah, yes. Father’s Day. The day dads get their annual reminder of all the things they haven’t crossed off that “honey do” list.

Breakfast in Bed(ish)

It isn’t Father’s Day until you’re awakened by the lovely sound of children wreaking havoc in your kitchen to create a culinary masterpiece that will be dropped on the floor at least three times before it reaches you. Hope you like pancakes crunchy with egg shells and garnished with carpet strands.

An Apple a Day Keeps a Future Sibling at Bay

We know what Pops really want on their special day: The chance to explain to their kids that “Mommy and Daddy were just napping on top of each other.”

The Call is Coming From Inside the House

This may be the sweetest way of saying “run” we’ve ever seen!

A Smell Only a Dad Can Love

To kids, Father’s Day is really just another day to engage in shenanigans.

We Mean, He IS Father Christmas

Except we all know where Dad’s really coming from—the bathroom.

You’ve Gotta be Jordan Me!

To be fair, the options for Father’s Day cards are limited to beer, barbequing, tools, fishing, and farting, so a store-bought one wouldn’t be much better.

Guess Who?

This is kind of the reverse of your mom feeling the need to say, “This is your mom,” as if we couldn’t tell by her voice.

Having Children is Pure Raptor … We Mean Rapture

We have no words, but thankfully a picture says a thousand of them. We’re sure 999 of them are four-lettered. Because kids.

It’s Never Too Late

You give them the gift of life, and they have the audacity not to have a full-time job or the ability to buy you a present because they “have poor fine motor skills” and are “still pooping their pants” and that’s considered a “work hazard.” Get over yourselves.

You Say Potato, We Say Influenza

PSA: Anything served to you by a child is basically a cute-looking petri dish of germs and viruses.

That’s What You Call “Perconcussion”

Sleeping in is nice, but blunt-force trauma to the head in the name of love is priceless. Unless you end up in the ER, then there’s definitely a price.


Oh, you mean the years we were actually cool, could do whatever we wanted, and didn’t need to keep liquid pain reliever on tap?

When Mom’s Away …

No one can bring moms to the brink of a nervous breakdown quite like a father who decides to toss their child up a millimeter away from concussing themselves on the ceiling five minutes before bedtime.

The Sound of Silence

We can’t argue with this. We’re pretty sure children wrote the book on torture via unbearably loud and annoying sounds.

The Eye Roll Says … You ARE the Father

Those moments you think OK, no DNA test needed, they’re DEFINITELY mine, with that sigh and side-eye.

Don’t Look

And the Oscar for best performance of the year goes to … dads everywhere.

My Neck, My Back, My Advil, and Ice Pack

Complaints about aches, pains, and exhaustion account for 70% of all conversations once you become a parent.

There’s About to Be a Tool Fight

Just replace UFC fights with this, please.

I Would Do Anything for Love, but I Won’t Do That

He really doesn’t ask for much, does he? Just turn off the lights, don’t touch the thermostat, and for you to reply with, “What’s ‘updog’?” when he says, “Man, it smells like ‘updog’ in here!”

We hope your Father’s Day weekend is filled with terrible puns and awesome memories.