Head games

QUESTIONABLE COMMENT: Why don’t you nurse?

What you’d like to say: Wow, do you want to talk about my sex life, too? You’ll never believe what we did last night …
What you actually should say: I’m so tired of talking about feeding. Let’s talk about something else. Your baby’s blanket is so cute! Where did you get it?

Did you know that breastfeeding reduces your baby’s odds of [insert terrible thing here]?

What you’d like to say: Geez, no, I’ve never heard that before. Thank you so much for pointing out that you think my kid is already at a disadvantage. I really appreciate it.
What you actually should say: Thanks for being concerned. Hey, have you ever tried mommy-and-me yoga? I’m trying to figure out if it’s something I might enjoy.

Did you try [insert fix-it method here] before giving up?

What you’d like to say: Did you seriously just ask me that?
What you actually should say: That’s kind of personal. I’ve been meaning to ask: What are you watching on Netflix these days? I need a new show to get me through laundry duty.

It’s OK, I’m sure you’re still a great mom.

What you’d like to say: Aw, that’s sweet. And condescending. And super insulting. But you’re right: I am a great mom.
What you actually should say: Thanks.

Do you worry about formula being bad for your baby?

What you’d like to say: No.
What you actually should say: No.

I bet it’s hard to bond with your baby without that skin-to-skin connection.

What you’d like to say: How’d you guess? Honestly, I don’t even like him that much. He’s kind of weird looking, right?
What you actually should say: No, not at all. Question: Do you know anything about the preschools around here? I heard you need to get on the waiting list crazy early.

You’re so lucky. Nursing really ties you down.

What you’d like to say: Apparently you’ve never heard of pumping?
What you actually should say: Being a mom can be so tough sometimes. I think we’re all doing our best, don’t you?

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