I don’t mean to brag, but on good days, I […]
I don’t mean to brag, but on good days, I am genuinely impressed with the new me. The “new me” meaning the mom I have become thanks to Bellamy. Whether I like it or not, being a mom doesn’t make life easier in any way really. To cope with these new challenges and difficulties, moms basically upgrade basic qualities and capabilities for superior ones.
The biggest example of this in my life is stress, or, lack there of. It’s not that it’s not there, it’s that I don’t acknowledge it in the same way. The first few months of her life were really hard. We made a lot of big decisions causing a handful of changes in our lives separately from having our first newborn to care for. I was a basket case 24/7. I was essentially in survival mode. Something shifted as time went on, and I have emerged, for now, as someone who is not as threatened by opposition and daily challenges. It’s impossible really to compare any circumstance when the difference is a child—because children change everything! But from what I can remember pre-baby (very little), I have a much higher tolerance for stress! It’s so awesome!
I can have a fussy baby in one arm, one hand in the diaper bag digging for fussy baby’s pacifier, be in the middle of an important face-to-face conversation and have a genuine smile on my face the whole time. Crying? What crying? I don’t even hear anything anymore! There’s a waterfall of baby vomit down the side of my shirt? No problem! Let me re-clean myself up for the eighth time while you tell me all about your life. You got 10 hours of sleep last night? That’s great! I’ve had 10 hours of sleep combined this week! Easy. I joke, but I am actually surprised I am not losing my sh*t right now.
I used to tear up when I had to run errands because the thought of getting her in and out of the car with all her stuff in tow was daunting. One afternoon Matt asked if I was willing to go get our cars washed, and I had to roll the windows down to get fresh air—I actually felt claustrophobic. Thank goodness I got myself together a little bit more and re-entered the world as a super mom like everyone else. I never noticed just how much moms juggle all at once, but I see it now. I sometimes watch moms out in public with their own situations going on that would cause others to possibly crumble, and they just float on like it’s their job. I guess it is their job!
I may not remember my name when you ask or smell nice, and yes, this is the same workout combo I was wearing last time you saw me, but I can handle any train wreck you got, and that validates basically everything. Go moms!