Week 38: My contribution

In the wake of last week’s mass shooting tragedy, I had a personal revelation. As details of the event slowly unfolded and we learned the names, the faces and the families of each victim, I was truly broken by the realization each person is someone’s baby.
Months ago I referenced that very same thought in another blog post. When I got pregnant, I started looking at everyone as someone’s child, and it helps me to see each person as an individual with tremendous value and purpose. While on a walk with Matt (one of the many, many walks we are taking these days), I was hit with the reality I will be raising my daughter in a world where tragedy is a weekly occurrence. Gone are the days where such breaking news broadcasts are few and far between, and whether we like it or not, it has started to feel “normal” in the way we aren’t surprised to hear about each crime.
In my inability to put any logic to the senseless act in Orlando, I started shifting my efforts toward being solution-oriented. Sometimes it feels as if our ability to impact big problems is out of reach, and it can feel discouraging and helpless. In situations like this, it seems we have a hate problem, and on the flip side, one could say it is a love problem, too—we need more people who love people.
I feel a great sense of responsibility to teach Bellamy how to love people, not this group or that group based off whatever media agenda is currently being pushed, but ALL people because they are human beings! I don’t want to be someone who is desensitized to the evil we see all the time, and I don’t want her to follow in the same footsteps. I want her to understand the concept of mourning with hurting people, sharing in their pain and suffering when they are in need. I want her to be a peacemaker and a unifier of others, using the gifts of communication and friendship to cross bridges of difference and confusion. I want to help build her curiosity of people, not judgment of their ideals and life choices. I hope to show her unconditional love and what tolerance really looks like.
I feel one of my greatest contributions in life will be the people I create to live in it. I believe the world needs more parents who want to know their children well and teach the fundamentals of being a kind person. I am not here to air my opinions or tell anyone how to parent. I am not a person who welcomes unsolicited advice or feels entitled to give advice to others. This is just my personal thought and prayer of what I can help instill into her life. I look at it as my greatest opportunity thus far to create change and bring something good into the world. It’s my greatest hope that she, as well as all of my future family, will do more than I do and have a greater impact than I have. I pray she will be better than me. I believe she already is! I hope to continue to grow in my compassion for all, as I try to navigate helping her through her own life.
I could scream from the rooftops how ready I am to be with this now watermelon-sized girl! I feel like I sound like a broken record by now, but all I want is for her to join our family. Matt and I love our time together, but it no longer feels “right” as just the two of us. In reality, she is here with us, impacting our lives in an amazing way. I know she will do that for other people in her life, too.