Week 35: Mom-to-be guilt

By Published On: September 19th, 2013
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Now that Roo’s almost here (~ 5 weeks!), I’m thinking […]

Now that Roo’s almost here (~ 5 weeks!), I’m thinking more about what my post-pregnancy life will be like. I plan on taking three months off of my editing contract job to focus on acclimating to life as a mom and bonding with my son without the distraction of work; however, this means two things:
1.)  Going without a paycheck for three months (the downside of being a contractor).
Fortunately, Arthur and I are financially secure enough to have me not work for that long. My earnings go towards savings and investments, so while our nest eggs won’t grow for a bit, we’ll be able to stay afloat without adjusting the monthly budget too much (although with the holidays, it’ll have to get a little tighter). I do worry about the pressure this puts on Arthur to be the sole breadwinner for a while. Even though the baby’s food is free – yay for breast milk! – added expenses for a third person are on the horizon, and being the only wage earner for a family of four (including the dog) can’t weigh lightly on anyone’s shoulders.
 2.)  Having to throw work on top of the baby mix when the three months are up.
Once the three months are up, how will I manage taking care of our son while working from home? It’ll be hard to focus on work when he needs me or is just being plain adorable. In theory, working from home should be ideal because I don’t have to leave the house and pay someone else to watch my baby; in reality, that forces me to juggle two full-time jobs at the same time. A part of me would love to be a stay-at-home mom, but the other part wants to make a financial contribution to the family and keep my earning potential current. It seems like a lose-lose situation to me – if I continue working, I’ll feel guilty about not being fully “there” for Roo when I’m home. If I become a stay-at-home mom, I’ll feel guilty for being financially dependent on my husband and for not eking out a career of my own.
I suppose this is my welcome into motherhood. How do you dear readers balance work and home life? Or if you’re a stay-at-home-mom (the hardest job in the world!), how do you handle the guilt of relying on someone else financially?