Week 29: Pregnancy Rage
Apparently morning sickness, acid reflux and plantar fasciitis felt alone in Rachel’s Pregnancy Symptom Land and decided they would invite a friend to the party, so they decided to invite the emotion rage and ask him (notice it’s a him) to stop by at any time to ruin the moment/day/week. It’s true—a pregnancy symptom is...
Apparently morning sickness, acid reflux and plantar fasciitis felt alone in Rachel’s Pregnancy Symptom Land and decided they would invite a friend to the party, so they decided to invite the emotion rage and ask him (notice it’s a him) to stop by at any time to ruin the moment/day/week. It’s true—a pregnancy symptom is that I’m having some serious issues with is rage. It’s not within any sort of acceptable range appropriate for any situation. It cannot be tamed by anything except for frozen yogurt; therefore I have elevated its significance to Serious Problem.
Pregnancy rage is inexplicable, occurring in the most mundane moments—surging out of nowhere, heavy and strong like a tornado of the psyche. I’ll be going about my day when all of a sudden I feel like a contestant on that show “Boiling Points” right when the contestant loses their cool and all the winnings. I believe the scientific term for what I’m going through is called “flipping out.”
Example: One morning last week, I walked out my front door to a gorgeous day. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping in the trees. Out of nowhere I thought “I hate those damn birds and I wish they would shut up.” That’s the problem with rage; it’s never proportional to the gravity of the situation. Someone didn’t use their blinker in traffic? I HATE THEM. Forgot to buy milk when I bought groceries? THE WORLD IS OUT TO GET ME. Husband finished the ice cream while I was out? HE DOESN’T LOVE ME.
Speaking of my husband, while I have taken my rage out on other drivers, customer service associates at large and the entire staff of Comcast, Dan has endured the bulk of my Pregnant Woman Rage. My poor, poor husband. He always seems to just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes, in the middle of a fight, I’ll think to myself, Are we going to laugh about this later? Will we look back and say “Heh, heh; that third trimester was a doozy!’ or is the next step in our relationship to discuss who gets to keep the Kitchen Aid in the divorce?
As a pregnant woman, it’s really hard when you’re in those moments and a small slice of your consciousness (albeit far, far away) knows that you might be overreacting, but everything inside of you wants to rage and scream and continue freaking out. The little voice in the back of your head telling you to calm down just doesn’t speak loud enough to overpower the urge to continue throwing a pregnancy tantrum.
I wish I could offer up a mood-changing solution to pregnant women everywhere for how to deal with flashes of rage and general psychosis. Unfortunately, this is my first pregnancy and I don’t have any sage wisdom. Just know you are not alone, that this is all temporary and (I think) that the hormones will eventually go back to normal. In the meantime, I suggest frequenting your local frozen yogurt establishment and calming your rage in a giant serving of dessert.