Week 28: Parts of us

While sitting at the dinner table, I casually asked Darrin what he thought I should write about this week, half serious and half making small talk. Being the insightful guy he is, he answered the question very seriously and sincerely. He suggested I write about who baby girl would be and what attributes from each of us I thought, or hoped, she would acquire. This is something I’m sure all mommies- (and daddies-) to-be wonder: Who is that little person that I am growing?
Darrin and I sit around and discuss the kind of person we think she’ll be. I have already proclaimed she will be in sports and she will be musical like her daddy—of course, if she is not at all sporty and hates everything musical, this will be OK. But since I was just neither of those things, naturally I want her to have qualities and talents that I did not. Darrin simply says that he’ll teach her everything he knows. I feel the same. I feel like as a parent, you want your children to get the best of who you are and spare them what you think is the worst. For instance, I hope she cares for people like I do and has a compassionate soul, but I also hope that she will move through life with the confidence and assertiveness that I was many times lacking.
We also talk about what she’ll look like. The other evening, Darrin said with love, “She’s gonna be tall and gangly like me and have your face. Ohh man.” I joked back, “Well, she better have your eyebrows.” We also have taken up a new hobby: when we are out and see a little girl, we many times imagine that it is our girl. We say things to each other like, “I think I saw her today!” and excitedly discuss what she might be like.
Earlier this week, I was sitting outside eating lunch before my night shift. A girl about 3 years old with blunt bangs and big brown eyes looked down at me from her daddy’s shoulders. Our eyes locked, and just for a second, I felt I got a glimpse of what was to come—even if the moment shared was with a tiny stranger.
I guess it is pretty obvious that we cannot really be certain who she will be. We can only hope that she will be as beautiful and kind-spirited as we spend so many minutes of our days wanting for. All we can really do is our best since she will be exactly what she should be—what she’s destined to be. The only things we can really do as parents are love her, protect her and allow her to live her life in a way that suits her. Our girl will indefinitely share and be parts of us, but more incredibly, she’ll be distinctly herself.