Week 16: Did I just feel something?
Lying in bed the other night, I’m pretty sure I […]
Lying in bed the other night, I’m pretty sure I felt my baby move for the first time. At only 16 weeks, I was skeptical, but according to my pregnancy apps it’s possible to feel some “fluttering” around this time. So, after reading about this possible big moment, I laid on my back and gently placed my hands on my little baby bump. I remained as still as possible—even trying not to breathe at one point—and focused on what was going on beneath the surface. Sure enough, I felt some very slight “fluttering” movements. With a huge grin on my face and a few tears in my eyes I told my hubby the exciting update.
Every night since then I’ve repeated the same process: laying as still as possible on my back eager to make a connection with my baby. Some nights I think I feel a little movement, and other nights there’s nothing but hunger grumbles. When I don’t feel anything the worrywart in me shines bright. I start to wonder if everything is moving along as it should and if the baby is OK. The rational part of me knows that the inconsistency is most likely due to the fact that it’s still early and movements can be difficult to feel. Of course, that doesn’t stop me from worrying.
This routine of quietly searching for movements in my belly has now evolved from a nighttime activity to an all-day exercise. Anytime I feel something unexpected in my tummy, I stay as still as possible and focus. My coworkers might think I’m going a little crazy or perhaps that I’ve just taken up a mid-day meditation practice. And although I get a little disappointed when I discover that those “flutters” are actually gas or grumbling, I’ve never felt closer to my baby.
Now I eagerly await for the big movements, the unmistakable kicking and arm flailing. I’m excited for the day when my husband can place his hand on my belly and feel our baby move against it. I impatiently wait for these moments to come, for that deeper connection with our baby. Pregnancy has brought plenty of interesting challenges so far, but it’s things like this, like seeing the baby move around on the ultrasound and feeling a little flutter, that make it all worthwhile.