Week 15: For the someday parents
Over the weekend, I heard the same thing twice: I […]
Over the weekend, I heard the same thing twice: I keep forgetting you’re pregnant! The truth is, a lot of the time, I kind of forget, too. It’s easier to forget now–between the doctor’s visits, once the energy level has returned, and while toes are still visible (and able to be painted independently). And sometimes it’s hard to remember I’m pregnant simply because I spent so long not being pregnant. Even though I’m 15 weeks into my second pregnancy, I still get those feelings. The feelings of the “someday” parents.
It’s a tough position. I know; I was there for close to six years. Years of crossing my fingers each month, hoping maybe it had finally happened. Years of watching announcement after announcement on Facebook, wondering why that couldn’t be us. Years of showering my friends with gifts and love at their baby showers, my heart wanting so desperately for it to be me. Years of seeing baby bump photos and praying some day it would be my own belly growing. Years of waiting. Hoping. Praying.
And now … here we are. Expecting baby No. 2 and feeling so utterly blessed and lucky. And also a little bit guilty. Because even though we have a beautiful 14-month-old daughter and a new baby on the way, there is always a part of us that will be someday parents. The people who are amazing aunts and uncles and everyone knows they will make the best parents some day. The people who’ve been married for years and dread every time someone asks, “When are you going to finally have a baby?” because they’ve been trying without success. The people who have names picked out and nursery themes but no baby. They people whose hearts soar and then break a little bit when they hear of another friend’s pregnancy. The parents who know they are meant to be parents … someday.
I know those of you reading this blog are most likely pregnant (or you know me and feel obliged), but I’ll tell you a secret. Each one of you knows a someday parent. And I hope you’ll share this post with them. Because I have a message for them. For these people I may not know but whose hearts I understand:
There is hope. Truly. HOPE. It is so hard to keep hoping after years of disappointment. The easiest thing, the safest thing for your heart, is giving up. But don’t. Don’t give up. If you know you are meant to be a parent, then don’t lose that faith. Maybe you will find the right doctor, and he will figure out what’s been holding you back. Maybe you’ll go on vacation (because you figure you don’t need to spend your money on a child so why not splurge), and you’ll find yourself pregnant a month later. Maybe you’ll adopt the child everyone says is so much like you they cannot believe they aren’t biological. Maybe you’ll welcome a foster child into your life, and your home will become their forever home. No matter how it happens, it will happen. Just don’t give up. If you know you are meant to be a parent, then you will be. Because someday parents are parents. You’re just still waiting for your child.
*Note: If you are currently struggling with infertility or know someone who is, and are interested in hearing more about our story, check out my personal blog, or send me a direct message on Twitter. I’m happy to share our journey to joy!