Oh yes, you know what I am referring to: That simple act that starts as fun and games but ends with you carrying around a watermelon in your tummy for the next nine months.
Smushing, a term coined by Snooki from Jersey Shore (Yes, I do watch it. It's a guilty pleasure. Don’t judge.) refers to that intimate time in between the sheets with your partner. It’s one of my favorite pastimes. But now that I have a bump in tow, smushing has taken on a whole new meaning. As in, how can I do this without getting, well, smushed?
So as I dived into the whole concept of getting busy while expecting, I realized the whole unchartered territory of pregnancy sex can be really confusing—especially if this is your first baby. Then I realized you guys probably feel the exact same way. So to save us all a little time and energy, I have compiled everything we need to know about getting our gestational groove on.
First of all, you will always want to get cleared for take-off by your doctor. If you are having a healthy and normal pregnancy, you will most likely get the okay to keep doing “it” up until the very end of your pregnancy. And rest assured that your little babe is safe and secure in there. He or she is protected by the amniotic sac, the muscles of your uterus and that handy, dandy mucous plug. During sex, some babies might become more active, while it may lull others to sleep. Either is normal and perfectly fine.
It’s also to be expected that each of our libidos respond differently to pregnancy hormones. Some may find heightened urges, while others lose interest altogether and some may find that their thoughts on love making change from trimester to trimester, or even day to day. This is also normal. There’s a lot going on down there, from added blood flow to genital engorgement so you may find sex more pleasing than ever before. Not to mention your girls are probably all perked up and sensitive. You may find touch to be stimulating or too painful to enjoy.
As your belly grows, you might find it hard to continue with the missionary style position. This is where things need to get creative. Try out new positions like spooning, cowgirl, laying on your side, using a chair, the end of the bed with a pillow behind your back, or supporting yourself with your knees and elbows while your partner enters from behind. All of these variations will relieve tension on your belly and provide a more fulfilling experience. Experimentation is key so just have fun trying to find the best position. Oral sex is fine during pregnancy but remember never to let your partner blow air into your vagina. Rarely, it could cause an air embolism, which is life-threatening to you and your baby. Also keep in mind that some cramping and contracting is normal after intercourse but if it persists or you have pain or bleeding, make sure to contact your caregiver.
And most importantly, don’t worry about that growing bump, those blossoming bosoms or the extra padding on the hips, your guy is probably in awe of everything he now has to hold on to, so just go with it. (Besides, studies show that men find their ladies more attractive during pregnancy.)
If you find sex is not working for you or your partner, there are so many ways to connect intimately during this special time. Remember that massage, hugs and kisses, long walks and talking can be just as romantic. The moral of the story: Listen to your body and communicate with your partner.
If you still want to know more about spicing up your love life, check out one of my most favorite articles about finding (and keeping) your Mommy Mojo. And remember, now that you have the basics, go forth and feel free to do tons of field research (wink, wink). Happy Smushing!
Lots of love,