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Separation anxiety can be a great ego booster

Written by: Christopher Spicer March 29 2012 I know it's important to “socialize” your baby. I don’t want to end up with a child that can only be calmed by his parents and gets separation anxiety every time the parents go out. I’ve told myself that I am going to raise a child that is...

Written by: Christopher Spicer

I know it's important to “socialize” your baby. I don’t want to end up with a child that can only be calmed by his parents and gets separation anxiety every time the parents go out. I’ve told myself that I am going to raise a child that is comfortable around others and isn’t overly reliant on his parents. I believe it's important that my child gets comfortable with meeting new people. I know all this and I believe it hundred percent.

But I have a confession to make.

I like the fact Everett is most comfortable around me and Emily. I get a bit of joy that Everett is most content and happiest when he is in his parent’s arms. It is a thrilling feeling to know that Everett wants to be near his parents. I realize this goes against everything I mentioned in the first paragraph, but I’ve got several more months to socialize my kid. Right?

Everett is only at three months, but it is obvious he has grown to be attached to his mom and dad. I’m cool with this, because I’ve grown pretty fond of him too. Now, I’m not saying he doesn’t want to be with anyone else. Everett seems to get attached to anyone who talks to him. He already loves listening and being near his grandparents. He has been held by many people that he just met and usually is good with them. When he starts to get tired, then he usually makes it very clear that he wants to be held by the people he loves most, his parents.

Emily thinks we need to socialize Everett more, because she feels he is getting too attached to us. She is probably right. I still get a huge amount of satisfaction from the fact that Everett is happiest when he is with us.

There have been a few occasions when someone will be holding Everett and he’ll let out cries that will shake the windows. He clearly isn’t happy. The person will try to rock him or talk to him, but nothing will calm him down. I will then volunteer to hold Everett. I’m confident I can settle him and stop him from causing all the dogs in the neighbourhood to howl. Then instantly Everett stops crying and even lets out content noises once he enters into my arms. He immediately realizes he is now with daddy, and it makes him calm and happy. I realize that it is important to make sure other people can calm down Everett. But I also think it is pretty awesome that I can almost always make my son happy when other people couldn’t.

I’m also the best person at making my son laugh and talk. Sometimes, I’ll just be mumbling while changing him, and Everett will give his massive, heartwarming smile and start to giggle. Other people have been able to get Everett to smile and talk, but I’m almost always able to do it. I can do it more easily than even Emily. I know this makes Emily a little jealous, and I always tell her that I’m sorry that he seems to smile at me more. I let her know that he loves her most, and I’m probably just lucky that I keep catching him at the right time in the day.

To be honest, I love the fact I can make my son smile and laugh more than anyone else. It makes me feel amazing to be able to get my son laugh on command. Emily can provide something that I can’t (breast milk), and so, it is pretty cool to know there is something I am a bit better at delivering for Everett. In public, I say that I hope Everett starts to laugh and smile at Emily more, but deep down, I get some satisfaction from getting the most smiles and laughs.

I know Everett needs to be socialized. I want him to be comfortable with as many people as possible. I do want him to laugh and giggle with his mom. I really do. But I am also confessing that I really like the fact he seems happiest around me. It is the one consolation I will have when he becomes a teenager and discovers how much of a dork I am (and how cool his mom actually is). For now, I’m cherishing Everett always wanting to be with his parents (especially with me).