Parenting predictions

Before becoming a parent, I knew exactly what kind of mom I was going to be. I knew I would have it all under control. How hard could it be? No little 10-20 pound person was going to get the best of me! Well, here’s how some of my predictions have fared so far …

1.  “My baby will be a content little person sleeping in his crib, happily grinning up at me when I greet him in the mornings.”

What?! My baby has literally never slept in his crib at nighttime. It is like he has a special crib sensor in his brain that alarms if I try to place him in his crib any time after 7 p.m.   Before becoming a parent, I had read about the risks of co-sleeping and knew that I would never do such a thing. Fast forward to now: We co-sleep every single night. It makes breastfeeding easier and is the only way this working mom can get some decent sleep. (And now all I read about are the benefits of co-sleeping. … Am I a modern woman practicing attachment parenting or just a tired woman in need of sleep reading studies that make me feel less guilty? Not sure …)

2.  “I will never expose my baby to TV or any other screen before the age of 2. His new little brain is soaking things up like a sponge, and TV will ruin everything!”

OK, so I do try to limit little man’s screentime, and most days I don’t expose him to any type electronic screen. But … have you ever been on a road trip with a screaming baby? After reading him books, playing with his toys and singing “itsy bitsy spider” till I’m hoarse, he still gets bored and tearful (read: screams like a banshee) on long car rides. That’s when YouTube-ing “Sesame Street” has saved our sanity. Sorry not sorry.

3.  “I will only feed my baby all organic, grass-fed, perfectly nutritious foods made from scratch at home.”

Ha! Graham has only been experimenting with foods for a couple of weeks, and I can already tell that is not how things will go. Let’s face it, we eat out sometimes, and little guy wants to try what we’re having. It’s not realistic to try to feed him a perfect diet when that’s not what we ourselves are adhering to. Yes he’s mostly had really good things like organic avocado, grass-fed beef, and vegetables from our garden, but I also let him have some of my fast food grilled chicken from Wendy’s today. Gasp! I think he’ll survive.

4.”I’m going to be a hot mama who still wears her high heels while running errands.”

Haha. Ha. Um those bucket car seats are heavy! Lugging that around and balancing my overflowing diaper bag on the other arm calls for flats. When my husband goes somewhere with us and carries everything, I’ve managed heels maybe a couple of times, but overall, mama is tired. I’m not trying to break an ankle and drop my baby just to look “hot.”

5. “We’ll never be one of those families with baby stuff covering every inch of their home.”

We literally have baby stuff covering every inch of our home. I loved my neutral pre-baby home—”greige” is my favorite decor color (gray+beige, my husband hates this term). I thought that we could get a few aesthetically pleasing baby items and some classic wooden toys. Nope. Baby loves brightly colored, high-contrast, noisy everything! Every room in the house has baby gear, toys, bouncers and swings. It’s crazy. But it’s fun, and we don’t care anymore.