It seems like from the moment my daughter came out […]
It seems like from the moment my daughter came out of the womb, family, friends, and more often than not, total strangers have been asking when we’re going to have another one.
Just, stop right there.
Why is the size of someone else’s family so important to some people? Is it because most American families have at least two children? I understand that many parents want their child to have a playmate, a best friend for life—I get that. I have two siblings myself, and although there’s a pretty big age gap between the three of us, I love them dearly and know first-hand the benefits of growing up with a sibling.
But what if I told you that (gasp) Bill and I only want one child? Is it that uncommon to be satisfied with just one squealing, little ball of energy? We don’t think so.
Lily has been, aside from the occasional sleep struggle, a great baby. She never cries incessantly or fusses unless something is seriously wrong. She loves to try new foods, plays well by herself, and gives the best cuddles (I may be a bit biased). The fact that she has been so, dare I say, easy, has truly been a blessing. It’s also one of the reasons why we think she’s destined to be an only-child.
Call me superstitious, irrational or even selfish, but I’ve heard plenty of stories about how the second child varies drastically from the first. Now, I suppose this could be a good or bad thing, depending on the first child’s personality. For us, it seems kind of … risky.
Not to mention, a one-child home seems so much less hectic in many ways. Instead of driving two (or more) children to and from school, playdates and extracurricular activities, we’ll just have to do that for one. One child also means more money in the bank, and contrary to the “mo’ money, mo’ problems” belief, I’ve yet to experience an influx of problems when my paycheck clears.
Not gonna lie, I also like the idea of having more one-on-one time with my daughter. I do realize this could be a double-edged sword for some parents, like those who struggle with controlling or helicopter tendencies … but I think we’ll be able to manage. Knowing that we’re only doing all of this once helps me focus on the present moment, especially when the times get tough.
Even though we’re only planning on having one child, our feelings (or circumstances) could change. I know we have plenty of love to give, but for now we’re content with devoting all of our time and love into raising this little nugget. Perhaps when Lily is older and more independent, we’ll miss the days of infancy and want to start all over again. Like the Biebs once said, “I will never say never.”