L(N+G+3) = Me
So, when I initially decided to write for Dad’s Eye View, […]
So, when I initially decided to write for Dad’s Eye View, I knew that it’d be tricky for me to provide weekly material for a post—not for lack of material but rather lack of time.
(For the sake of maintaining a sliver of anonymity, I’ll refer to my wife as L, my oldest as N, my youngest as G, and the one we’re expecting—shhhhh, we haven’t told anyone—as 3.)
A little background before I take you on my roller-coaster ride of parenting and expecting, from a dad’s eye view: I married my wife, L, in 2009. Two years later, we welcomed N into our one-bedroom, 880-square-foot apartment on the 10th floor of a high-rise in the Riverdale section of the Bronx. Six months later, L took a job in Connecticut (not commutable), and we decided I’d be a stay-at-home dad while she worked. We moved to Connecticut, thus beginning a new chapter of our lives, which was quite an adjustment for me—a born-and-raised New Yorker who grew up on Long Island before attending college in the Bronx and subsequently living there for 11 years. L is from Connecticut, but the only time I’d ever been there was the two summers I spent there playing baseball while in college.
I was a stay-at-home dad for a little more than a year before taking a job at a high school, which lasted a year. (I wasn’t fired; it was just a one-year position.) Back home, back to stay-at-home dad.
Two-plus years later (present day), I once again took a job as a paraeducator in an alternate education program at a high school in a nearby town—just a few miles from our home. School, once again, put an end (kinda) to me staying home raising our children. Yes, children—in May of 2014, we welcomed G to the madhouse. And I say kinda ended because I work from 7 a.m. to 1 p.m., so I get home and relieve a nanny (yes, a nanny) from her duties of raising G. If you would’ve told me we’d employ a nanny a few years ago, I’d have called you crazy. I was ready, willing and more than able to raise my children at home. But an opportunity presented itself, and I decided to take it. I’ll tell you this, though, if both were too young for school, I would still be home.
I also work Tuesday to Friday nights at NoRA Cupcake Company in Middletown, a 40 minute drive. Why the need to work two jobs? Because I’m trying to bring in a little more in the way of finances to our family without having to make the sacrifice of paying for child care.
Weekends are time for me to spend with family without interruption. Do I feel bad I don’t see a lot of them throughout the week? You bet, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
That brings us to present day life, November of 2015. With 3 headed our way in late-April, I may or may not turn into a stay-at-home dad again … for a few reasons, most significantly because our nanny is pregnant (due in late-March) and because two part-time, hourly jobs aren’t exactly going to cover the cost of paying someone to assist in raising G and 3.
I am glad to have the opportunity to document my life as a dad helping raise two boys while L and I expect a third. I hope you get a glimpse from this dad’s eye view.