If one more person asks me if I'm having twins …

By Published On: April 20th, 2011

Written by: Mindy April 19 2011 I have a theory. […]

Written by: Mindy

I have a theory. It’s that tall women — or at least women with long torsos — have a nice, lengthy space to grow a baby, while women who are neither (tall nor long-torsoed, which is me), do not.

Makes sense, right? That would explain why my tall friends look at nine months pregnant the way I look at five.

I’ve never been a very “big” girl. I’m slightly taller than 5’3” on a good day, and my frame is petite. Pre-baby, I could put on ten pounds of unwanted belly fat and still fit into size four jeans.

Now that I am very much “with baby,” I’m one of those women who gets blank stares from strangers. I know it’s not because they’re wondering, “Hmm, is she pregnant or just fat?” (which unfortunately is something some women have to contend with). Instead, I get the stares that say, “Good grief, how many kids does she have in there?” or “Get out of the way, that woman is going to deliver any minute now!”

I know this is true, because they tell me. I’ve gotten to the brazen-bold point of asking people, curtly, “What?” when I see them staring. The polite ones will say, “You must be due any day now, dear.” To which I’ve been replying for a long while, “Nope. Still have [4, 3, or 2] months to go!” Whereupon they look shocked and appalled and worried for my health.

The less polite ones—often guys and teens—will say, “Are you having twins? No, no, triplets!” To which I sometimes smile and say, “No, just a nice healthy baby,” or sometimes reply, “No. Why?” at which point they get tongue-tied and have a hard time telling me I look massive.

Overall, as long as the comments come with genuine curiosity or interest and not judgment, I don’t mind people commenting on my belly. I love looking pregnant, and I know it’s just my unique body that likes to carry out front and low—and not the result of any old wives’ tales that use my shape to predict the sex of the baby.

On a side note, it’s unbelievable how many people are positive they know what I’m having based on their old-wives’ predictions! They’re super-sure they’re right, yet about half think it’s a boy and half think it’s a girl.

At any rate, the one reaction I REALLY enjoy as a result of being so oddly-proportioned is the look I get from teenage girls when I walk by, especially if they’re with their boyfriends. My husband likes to point out I’m probably a natural form of birth control for them!