Hey, Jealousy.

By Published On: January 23rd, 2013

When we first brought Phoebe home from the hospital Matilda […]

When we first brought Phoebe home from the hospital Matilda was just as enamored as we were. Longing glances, kisses galore, always wanting to hold her. Then, we flipped her world upside down, packed half of the things she asks for on a daily basis (whoops!), put her in a new room, etc. All of a sudden my sweet “big girl” was a little wild child and no longer P’s biggest fan. She started running amuck, gritting her teeth and putting her hands on my face and shaking it like a mad woman, taking things from Phoebe, and having epic meltdowns. Seriously. After one of them I took all of her toys away. She cried. I felt bad (kind of). She also, may have, head butted Phoebe.
That’s when I lost it. Everything (move, newborn, rascally four-year-old, lack of sleep, not knowing where anything is) caught up with me. I put Matilda in her room, closed the door, and ignored all that was happening by making a pot of coffee and putting on E! The truth is I am incredibly protective of my oldest girl. When I feel like people are paying more attention to Phoebe than her, it hurts my feelings. I see her trying to get them to look at her and it breaks my heart. After all, she’s been my baby for four years. I love her so much.
I’m trying so hard to balance baby snuggles and playing Memory. I want them both to feel loved and sometimes it feels like I’m falling short on both sides. My favorite is when they’re both crying/whining at the same time. That just makes my day. I feel like quite the super mom, but sometimes when I’m not pulling my hair out or beating myself up, there are these really magical moments. Like when I’m trying to make dinner and I have Phoebe in her bouncy and she starts to get upset, Matilda will rush to her side and bounce the chair and talk to her. She will bend down and kiss her baby face. That’s when all of the other craziness disappears and I’m just head over heels for my boos.
How do you balance your kids and keep everyone happy? Is it possible?