Choosing my choice
Prior to Rowan’s arrival, my game plan was to take […]
We had calculated the cost of childcare before, so we knew we would basically be handing over my paycheck to whomever we entrusted to care for our son while I worked. I’d be okay with that if my job was something I loved or if there was more room to grow within the company, but that wasn’t the case. If my paycheck contributed significantly to our day-to-day expenses, I’d find a way to make my job fit into my life as a mom. But it didn’t. So Arthur and I had a serious discussion about me not returning to work.
Now it’s official: I’m a stay-at-home mom. It was a tough decision to make, but it makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. I get to be there for every diaper change, feeding, nap, and smile. I’m the one who gets to comfort my child when he’s in distress. I feel slightly guilty for not financially contributing to our family; however, I know that I’m contributing in other ways. I also know firsthand how wonderful it is to have a stay-at-home mom, and I’m glad that we’re fortunate enough to provide that support for Rowan.
Sometimes I feel defensive when people ask if I’m going back to work and I explain that I’m not. The running joke in our house is that I stay home eating bonbons while watching Oprah, but I secretly fear that’s what people envision my days are like. The stigma associated with my new job title bothers me, yet I’ve never been more proud of what I do. I’m reminded of Charlotte in Sex and the City when she tells Miranda that she’s quitting her job, and Charlotte adamantly defends this decision with, “I choose my choice!” And I do, wholeheartedly. But when I share that I’m a stay-at-home mom, I anticipate the patronizing looks and polite but disingenuous, “That’s great,” comments from those who think this is a lesser ambition than CEO, lawyer, doctor, etc. I have gotten a couple reactions like that, but more often than not, I’ve gotten overwhelming support and happiness from others.
Now please excuse me, I have an episode of Oprah to tend to. After all, it won’t watch itself, and my box of bonbons are melting.