Breaking up with sleep
Dear Mr. Sandman, Since you won’t see me anymore, I’ve […]
Dear Mr. Sandman,
Since you won’t see me anymore, I’ve decided to write. I know you may not read this, but I really need to tell you some things, and this seemed to be the only way to get through. First of all, please know that I miss you. I miss you terribly. I miss the way you make me feel. Really, it’s not my intention to write you a long sappy letter. I know that makes me look needy, so maybe I will just write this and then never send it. But if one sleepless night at 2:33 a.m. I decide I must send this your way, I hope that you take the time to read it. I took you for granted, and that for that I can only say again how sorry I am.
I know now that we are on much more than just “a break.” I get that. I’m sorry I ever joked about it. I’m sorry if I made you feel “less than” with my jests about how “I can survive” and how “I will make it through without you.” I’m sorry if that’s what led you to leaving. Even in my 20’s when I said that I could pull all-nighters and be fine, please understand it was the voice of unexperienced youth talking. I had no idea what I was saying. If you’re still holding a grudge and were just waiting until the time was right to get back at me, please know that my lesson is learned. You win. Whatever you need me to do in order to see you again, I will do it.
Again, I don’t mean to come across “needy.” I know that’s such an unattractive quality. I just need for you to know how serious I am. I’m at my wits’ end without you and have no idea how to get you back.
Truly, I can’t concentrate without you. Just the other day, I put The Kid’s onesie on backwards but didn’t notice it until two hours later. At least six times a day, I walk into the kitchen and can’t remember why I’ve gone in there in the first place. Last week, all day Tuesday, I thought it was Wednesday. Soon, I’m afraid I’ll start writing odd letters to fictional characters.
So you see, I need you in my life! I simply can’t function without you! I am willing to take full responsibility for our break-up. Clearly, the fault is MINE entirely. It’s all just a stupid misunderstanding. PLEASE COME BACK!
I promise I’ll be good.
I won’t take you for granted ever again.
Please. just let me know what I can do to get back together with you!
Day Dreaming of You,
The Non-Sleeping Mother of a 4-Month-Old