Ask the moms: Motherhood philosophy

Meet our mom panel:
Lacey Major is the mom of two awesome kids, Riley (age 13) and Brice (age 7). She is the editor-in-chief of Pregnancy & Newborn. Checkout the Editor’s Letter in our magazine each month for more good-to-know widsom from Lacey.

Rachel Reiff Ellis is Associate Editor at P&N. She is mom to Noah, 7; Rosie, 3—and a brand new baby boy named Max! Want to know more about Rachel? You can follow her pregnancy journey on our Knocked Up blog.

Associate Editor Tracy Brown is mom to 4-month-old, Braxton. When she’s not busy perfecting her diaper changing routine, she loves to volunteer, dance, eat good food and watch college football. She lives in Atlanta with her husband, son and dog, CiCi.

Alyson West is an Associate Editor at P&N. She and her husband are delighted with their daughter, Alexandra, who is 3-months-old. When she’s not focused on moms and newborns, Alyson is a forensic actor for the federal government.

As a stay-at-home mother of two, Ginny Butler spends her days playing peek-a-boo, buckling and unbuckling, and explaining why stink bugs don’t make good pets. In her quiet hours, Ginny writes for P&N as contributing editor from a distance—she currently resides in Salt Lake City with her husband Shawn and children, Charlotte (5) and Finn (1).

Every parent has a unique view on what it takes to raise a family. We asked our mom panel to share their own motherhood philosophy.
Lacey: Definitely do whatever works for you. People can be so judgmental of fellow parents, and it just isn’t right—we should be supporting each other! All parents and all babies are different, and we all have to do what helps us stay sane and happy. I’m personally a fan of light attachment parenting, but I know that it isn’t for everyone. I would opt for a carrier over a stroller (although I definitely think strollers have their time and place), I practiced (safe) co-sleeping with both of my kids, I’m an advocate for breastfeeding, and I never put either of my kids on a strict schedule (which usually surprises people, since I’m such a rigid planner) or let them “cry it out”. No matter how you choose to parent your child, though, I think the most important thing is that they know they are loved. Don’t assume that what worked for your sister’s family will work for yours, and don’t feel bad if you choose to go a different parenting route than most of your friends do—find your own way and don’t second guess yourself, no matter what anyone says. (Because believe me, people are going to share their opinions, whether you want them or not.)
Rachel:Above all, I try to enjoy my kids. I’m a firm believer in being the authority and enforcing rules and all of that, but I also know that they are going to be little only for a short while, and I don’t want to forget to just be with them when I can. I am not the craftiest mom, our house is not always (slash rarely) clean and I am not the best cook (by far), but really, they don’t care about all that. They just want me to be their mom. So I do the best I can, love them a lot, play up my strengths and cut myself a little slack on all the rest.
Tracy:Let it go. It’s no secret that I am much more Lucille Ball than June Cleaver and I have to admit, that is A-okay with me. If there are dishes to be done, mail to be sorted or cookies to be baked and it doesn’t happen, well, guess what? It just doesn’t happen. Becoming a mom forces you to slow down and embrace the present moment. Grimy dishes pale in comparison to my son’s sweet smile. And at the end of the day, if everyone is healthy, safe and happy, then you have done your job and everything else will sort itself out.
Alyson:I try to stay in the moment and be appreciative of each one. It doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated or overwhelmed, it just means I try to keep the bigger picture in mind. My baby will never be this way (small, nursing, young, etc.) again and I don’t want to miss a thing. Oh, and I believe there’s always time to snuggle!
Ginny:I’m a hands-on mom. I genuinely love being with my kids, and I make sure they know it. I’m all about enjoying the moment. I don’t have qualms about leaving dishes in the sink or having an unmopped floor if it means I get to take my kids to a park/festival/aquarium/library/museum/whatever. We love to have adventures together, especially unplugged adventures. We don’t do much TV, and we don’t own a video game system, so our good times revolve more around learning, singing, playing games, talking and reading than sitting around watching a screen.
Join us each week in the month of May, as we ask our P&N mom panel to dish out their best advice on a variety of topics that matter to you.