Regardless of the path that led you to single motherhood, deciding to go it alone makes you a brave and loving mama from the start. Solo parenting is no easy task, but Sunny Fungcap, MPA, CHHP, author of Supersize Your Single Mom Life: A Single Mom’s Guide to Living Her Dreams, says that by changing your mindset you can shift your focus from surviving to thriving.
“After my partner of several years left and I felt I’d hit rock bottom … I remembered something a friend told me—that I can’t fall off the floor, so [there’s] nowhere to go but up,” recalls Fungcap. “The key was deciding what I wanted and being consistent enough in being happy until I got it. I also refused to believe any of the myths about what single mothers can and cannot do!”
Lose the negativity
The phrase “single mother” has a bad rap that Fungcap urges mamas to tune out. “Many single parents, especially moms, believe and have been taught that they are limited in what they can achieve,” she says. “If you think about it, many of our single moms have accepted the obligatory role, while her passions and desires and her dreams are delayed until she—and others—feel her role has been dutifully fulfilled.” By not losing sight of your own ambitions, you become a better and happier mama—and an example you’d want your kiddos to follow.
Jump for joy
There will always be hurdles in life (whether you’re a single parent or not), but instead of dwelling on hardships, Fungcap resolved to embrace single motherhood—the good and the bad. For her, that meant spending 30 days focusing on things that brought her joy: reading interesting books, listening to music for fun, meditating and jogging.
“I made the decision to think of every challenge as something that was bringing me closer to what I wanted,” she says. And it worked so well for her, she encourages you to try it, too.
Law of attraction
One of the key premises in Fungcap’s self-help book is the belief that what you give is what you get. “If you are depressed and angry all the time, you will attract depressing and angry people and experiences,” she counsels. “If you are looking for the light in each tunnel and doing activities that bring out positive results, then you will start to attract just that.” So, focus on the good things, and there will be more of them because your upbeat outlook will bring out the best in every situation.