19 Hilarious Father’s Day Tweets
Send these to your baby daddy for a few shared laughs.
Father’s Day is almost here, and people have tweets to share on the subject—both the holiday and dads in general.
For some, it’s another annual Beer, Socks, Fishing and Barbecuing Day, so fire up the grill, and set the kids loose with paper and markers to make Dad yet another coupon book.
For others not celebrating Father’s Day, whatever the reason may be, know we’re so sorry. Your feelings are valid, and we’re sending you the biggest hugs!
We also want to acknowledge that in recent years, dads have been stepping up to break traditional gender roles and doing their part without expecting a gold star—and we’re here for it. Huge kudos to all the dads being dads!
And where do active parents turn when in the trenches of everyday parenting? We turn to comedic relief. (Works like a charm!) So give your white New Balance sneakers and tube socks a rest, Pops, and have a laugh (or 19) with these hilarious Father’s Day tweets:
I’m keeping the romance alive by gift wrapping my Father’s Day present which I had ordered from Amazon
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 16, 2022
There’s something magical about knowing you’re going to get EXACTLY what you want instead of dropping hints and hoping for the best, or having to leave your house to use a gift card. Let’s normalize sending each other our Amazon wishlists.
It’s that time of year again when the people who design Father’s Day cards are convinced dads only like football, golf, gardening, racing cars, beer, fishing, ties and farting.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 14, 2021
Heaven forbid you fall outside of these family sitcom norms of what a dad does, is, and likes. You will eat your steak in your brand new socks while the novelty plastic fish gift sings from your wall, and you will LIKE IT.
Father’s Day coming up. Can’t wait to be served Norovirus in bed.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 11, 2018
And Mom will be in the kitchen secretly snickering because she JUST had to stomach a delicious plate of salmonella for Mother’s Day and now it’s your turn.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who don’t start a wrestling match with the kids 12 minutes before bedtime
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 17, 2018
We’d have more commentary on this, but honestly, we’re still recouping from being up all night putting trying to get the kids to sleep after Dad “helped” with the bedtime routine.
Hope I get a chore list cleverly disguised as a Home Depot gift card again this Father's Day.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 17, 2018
Crap, they’re onto us!
Aliens learning about dads solely from Father's Day cards: Wow, it appears that this farting burp on legs really enjoys tools, beige shorts with several pockets to put beer and tools, steak, New Balance sneakers, and "grillin' 'n' chillin'"
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) June 16, 2022
Listen, dads are more than a stereotype…*watches a neighborhood dad start up his lawnmower no less than two minutes after his neighbor started his*
Each year on Father’s Day my dadbod molts to reveal an even daddier bod.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 15, 2019
We’re all just slowly morphing into our parents, who are we trying to kid?
Me: i don’t care that father’s day is over. I love being a dad so much, everyday is father’s day.
Wife: try saying it again only this time without the weeping.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 17, 2019
“Bless this mess” or whatever the current popular suburban mom’s barnwood sign says.
My kids woke me up on Father's Day with breakfast in bed.
My 1-year-old hit me in the head with a maraca.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 18, 2017
Facebook Status: Enjoying some breakfast in bed, compliments of my tiny maraca-les.
Dads on father's day: let's go do something as a family!
Moms on mother's day: Can everyone just not talk to me today or touch me.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) May 9, 2016
Sounds like a blast. And, speaking of blasts, Dad’s gonna have to use the bathroom “really quick” while Mom gets the kids ready to leave.
Just a quick reminder that Father’s Day is this weekend or another weekend or last weekend
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) June 11, 2020
Doesn’t it depend on if the groundhog saw its shadow or something?
7-year-old: I got you ice cream for Father's Day.
Me: Where is it?
7: The store. You have to go there and buy it.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 16, 2019
It’s the thought that counts, really.
I love that Father’s Day is after Mother’s Day bc now the tone has been set…Ok I can spend [checks notes] homemade massage coupons
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) June 15, 2022
Best I can do is some handprint art on the back of this mile-long CVS receipt for some beef jerky.
Give Dad what he really wants this Father’s Day: turn off all the lights & set the thermostat to 80 degrees.
— Rick Aaron (@RickAaron) June 16, 2022
Living la vida non-astronomical gas and electric bills.
-Ricky Martin as a dad. Probably.
I'm pretty sure that my husband doesn't know where the laundry room is and that's why I'm hiding his Father's Day gifts in there.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) June 7, 2022
Or inside of the hamper instead of hanging on the side, or on the floor three inches away from it.
I’m going to give my husband what he really wants for Father’s Day… for 24 hours I’m not going to touch the thermostat.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 6, 2018
We know what they really want, and it’s the chance to clap their hands once and shout “Family Meeting!”
I asked my husband what he wanted for Father’s Day & he said silence & then we all laughed & laughed & the kids went back to breaking the sound barrier.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 17, 2018
We would do anything for love, but we won’t do that. No, no.
It’s tradition in our family to hang cargo shorts by the fireplace on Father’s Day Eve so the pockets can be filled with Home Depot gift cards and Diet Coke.
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 16, 2018
Ah, yes, the widely celebrated Jortsmas.
Father’s Day prayer:
May your coffee be as strong as your dad jokes, your life as full as your cargo shorts pockets, and your future as bright as the white socks you wear with your sandals.
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) June 11, 2018
This we pray, our most holey Crocs with socks prayer, Amen.
Share this post, laugh, be merry, and pretend it’s the first time you’re hearing that dad joke from the special dads in your life. Happy Father’s Day!
By Serena Dorman