36 Hilarious Parenting Tweets About Easter
There’s something about the holidays that’s so much more special once you’re a parent, and Easter is no different. Creating all the magic behind-the-scenes for your kids, watching their eyes light up, getting the chance to become Santa or the Easter Bunny, to heal the trauma of learning the truth as a child, eating half of your kid’s goodies after they go to bed…what? Who said that? Not us.
*kids any other day*
I can’t find it, where is it, help me!
*kids on Easter*
I can see a small purple egg with pink polka dots hidden under that shrub 40 feet away, and by the way it’s laying in the grass it probably has 9 jellybeans inside.
— yelisa (@beingyelisa) April 4, 2021
1. We’ve all heard of selective hearing, but kids have the stellar talent to selectively see what they want, when they want.
Easter egg hunts are fun if you like Hunger Games for 6-year-olds, and parents who will literally fight you for a chocolate bunny.
— bottom of my purse (@Bottomofmypurse) March 25, 2018
2. Never question a child’s dedication and bloodthirst for a single grain of sugar. Also, never underestimate a grown adult’s willingness to turn an Easter egg hunt into a full-contact sport. With 3-year-olds.
Guess it's time to shop for an Easter dress shirt that my 4yo can wipe his boogers on.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) April 7, 2017
3. If there were a parenting handbook, there would be a full chapter on holiday etiquette from a child’s perspective, and one of the rules would include getting their holiday outfits dirty almost immediately after donning them.
Who needs to pay for entertainment when you can watch two dads fight to the death over a plastic Easter egg with a single jelly bean inside?
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) April 16, 2019
4. Brad and Chad like to drink beers and reminisce about how they “almost made it into the Big Leagues.” Brad and Chad are also the full grown dads sliding into home base, except home base is a plastic egg with a temporary bunny tattoo inside.
What in the hell is this world coming to? Back in my day, if we found goldfish crackers in our Easter baskets, we called the police.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2017
4. Healthy, shmealthy, you can have your green juices and cauliflower everything, but when Easter rolls around, you fill those eggs with sugary delights. It’s what Jesus would have wanted.
No sweetie, you can't have your giant chocolate bunny for breakfast, that's not healthy and also mommy ate it for dinner last night.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 14, 2015
5. It’s our job as parents to teach our children healthy eating habits and life lessons. One of those lessons is disappointment.
Nephew just whispered something into a Cadbury Easter Bunny's ears then broke off its head.
I'm sleeping with the lights on.
— Woodrow Peel (@WoodyLuvsCoffee) March 26, 2015
6. Forget about sleeping with one eye open, we’re never sleeping again!
Happy Easter especially to the parents who also had to agree with their kid’s announcement that the bunny probably shops at Target too
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) April 1, 2018
7. And Santa probably shops at Amazon. Because Mommy forgot to take off the label. It’s fine, they’ll be fine.
My kid sure is great at picking up Easter eggs for someone who suffers arm paralysis whenever I ask him to clean up his toys.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) April 3, 2017
8. Oh, so you are fully capable of using your arm’s full range of motion. Good to know.
You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this pre-school.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 29, 2018
9. We hit the Easter egg jackpot! Wonder why we heard children crying as we drove off?
Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year.
Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 21, 2019
10. Oh, the Easter Bunny knows, they know full well.
The four seasons:
Christmas Tree Reese’s
Easter Egg Reese’s
— Scarlett Longstreet (@ScarlettPosner) November 19, 2020
11. The only acceptable names for the seasons we’ll be using from now on.
Shout out to all the parents who will be picking plastic Easter grass out of every nook and cranny for the next 6 months.
— SammichesPsychMeds (@SamPsychMeds) April 1, 2018
12. Which is not as bad as finding Easter eggs six months later. Of the hardboiled variety.
Just put the last of the Christmas stuff away & found the Easter decorations if you’re looking for a friend who totally has her shit together
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) April 18, 2020
13. Who says the “most wonderful time of the year” can’t be extended until Easter? That’s right, no one. You rock that cornucopia of random seasonal porch decor, mama.
Please let that be chocolate.
Please let that be chocolate.
Please let that be chocolate.
– Every parent on Easter
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) March 27, 2016
14. If you’re not making mental notes of which candies you’re totally eating in secret after your kids go to bed, we wouldn’t get along.
As someone who's been buying Easter candy since Valentine's Day, I don't actually know when Easter is this year.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) April 9, 2022
15. We were so cute back when we thought we’d buy Easter candy early so we’d be prepared…to buy 15 more bags because we keep eating it all. So cute.
I just filled my daughter's classroom Easter eggs with unopened Tootsie rolls from Valentine's Day, so you can go ahead and crown me "Mom of the Year" now, thanks.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 18, 2019
16. It’s called upcycling, and you’re welcome.
If you don’t eat most of your kids Easter candy and then blame it on the Easter bunny, we can’t be friends.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) April 12, 2020
17. One of the perks of the holidays as a parent is the ability to make that holiday “mascot” the fall guy.
My four year old came downstairs an hour earlier than normal this morning and caught me hiding eggs. I had no choice but to tell him the truth: I woke up early to steal the candy that the Easter Bunny had left him.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 12, 2020
18. Listen, we had no choice. There is no room this Sunday morning for a meltdown over that kind of life-altering spoiler.
Kids today get better stuff in their Easter baskets than I did when I graduated high school.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) April 4, 2021
19. When we were children, we won the lottery if our parents got us one of those giant cellophane-wrapped baskets filled with Dollar Store garbage.
[easter egg hunts 20 years ago]PARENT: ok kids, i painstakingly hid each and every egg
[easter egg hunts today]PARENT: *dumps out a bag of eggs in a field* OK KIDS, HAVE AT IT
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 31, 2018
20. One of the best parts of parenting is being able to deal out a little bit o’ payback on Easter as you watch your kids roam about the yard, tortuously searching for eggs. Drunk with power doesn’t even begin to describe how we feel telling our kids if they’re “hot or cold.”
Scrounging up school lunch stuff after a 10 day break is the mom version of an Easter egg hunt.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) April 3, 2018
21. Hate it when there’s nothing in the kitchen but ingredients.
Kids: But you haven’t even made us breakfast!
Me: Go grab your Easter baskets.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) April 22, 2019
22. If you can’t admit that one of your kid’s basic food groups after Easter is Easter candy, then you’re lying to yourself.
Easter baskets when my kids were little: Chocolate, bubbles & toys
Easter baskets for them now: Toothpaste, deodorant & job applications
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 1, 2018
23. The little Easter chicks have to spread their wings and learn to fly some time.
If you want to feel better about your parenting, just know that I let my 8-year-old pack her own lunch this morning and I opened her lunch box to 10 Easter candy wrappers.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) April 4, 2018
24. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means? It means your children packing themselves Easter candy.
If you haven’t threatened to call Santa 587 times so he can tell the Easter Bunny who is on the naughty or nice list, is it even Easter weekend with kids?
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) April 19, 2019
25. Listen, Santa and the Easter Bunny get a lot of kudos for the work us parents put in, the least they can do is be the bad guy when we don’t want to be. “With great power comes great responsibility,” and all that.
“it’s business time” she whispered to herself reaching for the easter candy after the kids had gone to bed
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 9, 2021
26. Easter and Christmas morning to a child is what Easter and Halloween after the kids go to bed are to a parent.
Teach your kids about taxes by taking half of their Easter candy.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 18, 2017
27. Fair is fair, and it’s about time your 2-year-old starts pulling their weight around the house.
I’m not feeling well so I bribed my toddler with Easter candy to pick up her playroom.
Am I proud of it? Yes.
…But would I do it again?…
Also yes. Probably later today.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) April 30, 2019
28. Bribery is a parenting style, we don’t care what you say.
Me to 5: don’t take candy from strangers
Also me: get in there and throw some elbows at this community Easter egg hunt
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) April 9, 2022
29. Don’t take candy from strangers. Unless it’s inside of a plastic egg that’s been used for at least 10 years in a row and has been sitting out in the sun all day.
Easter egg hunts are fun but, some kids always get their eggs stolen by others. Also, I'm not allowed on the field this year.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) April 14, 2017
30. Some people’s children.
Me (wipes chocolate off my face): Uh yeah, the Easter bunny has PMS and decided you guys should be healthy.
— Marl (@Marlebean) April 14, 2017
31. It could also be reasoned that carrots help with eyesight, and that eyesight can be used next year to scope out more Easter goodies.
Puts all the toys my kids forgot they had in their Easter basket
— Marl (@Marlebean) March 29, 2018
32. The kind of parenting hacks we need.
Kid: Where do babies come from?
Me: I’ll tell you when you’re older.
Kid: What happened to all the Easter candy you bought?
Me: When a man and a woman…
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 1, 2020
33. Looks like we’re having the “birds and the bees” talk a little early. It is springtime, after all.
my mom still gives me an easter basket, but now it has dish sponges, compression socks, and high fiber cereal
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 2, 2021
34. And we’re stoked out of our minds about it. That’s how you know you’re an adult.
When you stop believing in the Easter bunny, a dollar store dies.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 27, 2018
35. If you want to know how Jeff Bezos feels, walk into the Dollar Store (or Dollar.25 Store) with $50 to spend on Easter baskets.
The only basket I woke up to today was filled with dirty laundry.
The Easter bunny can suck it.
— TheMotherOctopus (@MotherOctopusKJ) April 21, 2019
36. Looks my Easter basket is filled with disappointment this year.
Did you enjoy these hilarious Easter parenting tweets? Then spread the love by sharing with your mom and dad friends. Happy Easter!