Tag Archives: lindsey henke

Week 36: Waiting

The hospital bag is packed, frozen meals are made, all doctors’ appointments have been attended, and the nursery is as complete as it will be until baby arrives. There is nothing left to do but wait. And the “waiting place” … Continue reading

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Week 35: Emotions

“Lindsey, you talk a lot about fear, but today I hear sadness in your voice too. Is there sadness there?” Tears flow from my eyes like water from an overflowing well as my therapist asked this question yesterday in session. … Continue reading

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Week 34: Hope

“Do you think this time it will be different?” I asked in a soft fragile tone to my husband as we sat in the car waiting for the light to turn from red to green. Nick let out a deep … Continue reading

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Week 33: Pampering pregnancy

 “Oh, you look so much bigger than last week,” a coworker said this to me on a Monday morning after not seeing me over the weekend. “What every pregnant lady wants to hear,” I responded in a playful, yet sarcastic … Continue reading

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Week 32: The courage to celebrate

I have mentioned before that getting excited about this pregnancy is very difficult due to the loss of my last pregnancy.  Every day that we move closer to the date of delivery I actually get more scared than excited. I … Continue reading

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Week 31: High risk

“I’m sorry that I’m such a complicated case,” I half teased my doctor as she directed me to lay down on the exam table to measure my stomach.  We listened to the baby’s heartbeat at the clinic, where I came … Continue reading

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Week 30: Birth planning

To me the idea of birth planning is an oxymoron.  To be honest, we didn’t have any plan going into baby No. 1’s birth and that was probably a good thing, considering her birth did not turn out to be … Continue reading

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Week 29: Positive affirmations for pregnancy

Lately my anxiety has been coming back again in full force.  It seems like the closer we get towards delivery day the more worried I get.  This past week I was super on edge and wound up.  I started experiencing … Continue reading

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Week 28: To share the name or not share the name

That is the question.  Whether it is nobler in the heart to suffer the harsh words and unwanted critiques of family members and friends, or to take the risk and share the joy you have for naming the little bundle … Continue reading

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Week 27: What not to say to a pregnant lady

“Is this your first child?” I know it’s a harmless question. I have even asked it of other pretty pregnant moms in the past. But now, as a mom expecting again after a loss when asked this question I get … Continue reading

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Week 26: Bonding with baby

“Around other pregnant people I felt, ‘Well I’m not really pregnant the way you are.  I’m sort of pregnant. I might be having a baby.’ ” Is a quote I read by a fellow loss mom reflecting on her past … Continue reading

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Week 25: Trust

It took me 30 years to come to terms with my body.  To accept all of her beautiful flaws and revel in her extraordinary womanly wonders, such as being able to create, support, and maintain life, not just my own … Continue reading

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Week 24: Holding space

Sometimes I fear that others will overlook my grief now that I am pregnant again. That the birth of a new child will somehow make people forget about my first daughter.  I worry that sometimes, I do this too.  I … Continue reading

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Week 23: Focusing on joy

It has been really difficult to embrace joy in pregnancy No. 2 after the loss of my first child to stillbirth.  Things that once brought delight and pleasure in my last pregnancy now seem dulled by the trauma from the … Continue reading

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Week 22: Reassurance

This past week was a rough one for me. I had a lot of digestive issues that led to an upset stomach over the past weekend, and then on Tuesday my stomach issues developed into belly cramps. I called the … Continue reading

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Week 21: Planning for a future that’s not guaranteed.

It is difficult planning for a future with the baby you’re expecting after a loss. The expecting industry, pregnancy magazines (like this one that I am honored to write for and are courageous enough to bring the reality of pregnancy … Continue reading

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Week 20: Boy or girl?

“Do you want a boy or girl this time?” I asked my husband about two months into this pregnancy. “I don’t care, as long as it’s healthy,” He replied. Frustrated with his lack of playfulness and a safe response I … Continue reading

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Week 19: Five things to be thankful for during pregnancy

This month, as Thanksgiving approached I had set a personal goal of cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” and to notice each day what I was thankful for, be it my husband or comfy pair of socks. The one thing that … Continue reading

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Week 18: Hormones, grief and joy, oh my!

Lately, I have been extremely hormonal. I don’t like it when hormones get blamed for a woman’s slight change of behavior once a month or when a woman, seven months pregnant, cries in the aisle of the grocery store because … Continue reading

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Week 17 : The Doppler debate

Flub, flub, flub.  Hearing the heartbeat calms my nerves for a few seconds, as the nurse lets the Doppler linger a little longer than what I believe is normal on my small but swollen belly. At 17 weeks I’m at … Continue reading

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Week 16 – The anxiety during pregnancy after loss

“How are you feeling today?” The nurse asked me this past Wednesday, as she closed the door to the tiny exam room for my 16 week checkup.  Those words apparently were all I needed to hear to release the pent … Continue reading

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Week 15: Pregnant again, after loss–leaning into excitement

Being pregnant with baby No. 2 has been a bittersweet journey.  My first baby, my daughter Nora, was stillborn at 40 weeks, after a PERFECT pregnancy, due to an infection that happened just hours before she was to be born.  … Continue reading

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Meet Lindsey

Please welcome our new Knocked Up blogger, Lindsey Henke! She has an incredible story to share, so be sure to check out her bio below, and stop back on Thursday for her first post. Lindsey is a baby loss mom, … Continue reading

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