We offer up advice on making time for that person who still gives you butterflies.
It’s easy to forget to take time for you and your partner when all you can think about are feeding schedules and diaper changes. The love you have for your child is unquestionable, but remember that making time for you and your significant other in no way makes you selfish—after all, you were a sultry lover long before you were a hot mama, right? A happy home is a healthy home, and nurturing your relationship will only fortify that oh-so-important credo.
Mom seeks sitter
Some of the best love advice we can give new parents is to take advantage of any family or friends offering to watch your baby. Seriously, if you’re lucky enough to have a resource of free babysitters, don’t feel guilty for using their services! There is no shame in accepting help and it gives granny and gramps a chance to bond with your child while you get to reignite your bond with your partner.
If you find yourself in a situation where family and friends aren’t exactly lining up to give you a day off from mommy duty, try trading off date nights with someone in your playgroup or with a trusted mommy friend. If all else fails, take the money you’ll need for a babysitter out of your “date budget”—you may have to downgrade from that five-star restaurant to a sexy night at Denny’s, but trust us, you’ll appreciate a night off wherever it may be.
Try to remember the things you and your guy did together when it was just the two of you. Although you may not be up for reliving every night spent at the bar during college or the crazy parties you threw in your first apartment together, it might be fun to revisit places you used to go when you first started dating. Get coffee from a local hangout or catch your favorite band when they come to town—it really doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are making an effort to spend quality time together. On that note, try talking about things that don’t revolve around your new addition, too.
It’ll be hard, but it’s important to forget about infant-oriented topics for a while and mentally connect with the person you adore. (Plus, discussing leaky nipples and dirty diapers on a date is so not hot!)
If you find yourself stuck at home, your nest is the perfect place for a date! Of course, there is always something to be done, but disregard the distractions—we promise, those bottles in the sink won’t mind if you ignore them for another hour. While your little one is napping, surprise your significant other with a full picnic set up in the dining room. Or, leave little love notes scattered throughout the house that hint at a steamy rendezvous after baby’s bedtime. You’ll be surprised how these “mini-dates” can add to your relationship.
Single and ready to mingle
Let’s face it—dating is hard no matter what your situation. The idea of putting yourself out there and opening up to someone new is enough to keep you home in the comfort of your pj’s watching Love Actually—add a baby to that mix and dating can be downright terrifying. Although it may be easier to imagine the love you desire set to music on the silver screen, nothing will happen if you don’t take a chance.
Don’t be afraid to get back out there and date if you have a child. Dating with kids is definitely a challenge, but finding your Mr. Wonderful might actually be easier once a baby is in tow—becoming a parent allows you to re-prioritize and get to know yourself a little better, which in turn gives you a better idea of what you’re looking for in a life partner. Always be mindful of interaction between your honey and your little ones—it’s hard to explain to a child why your guy is no longer in the picture, so you might want to wait until you’re pretty sure the relationship is going to take off before bringing him home to meet the crew.