The new man in my life leaves me with very little time for the one before him—his papa. In fact, I have very little time for myself outside of Rowan. When he’s finally tucked soundly away in his crib at the end of the day, I have just enough time to feed and bathe before retiring to bed. So Arthur really gets the crumbs of my time.
Even though we share a home, eat dinner together, and sleep in the same bed, I miss my husband. I see him every single day yet feel more distant from him. Our bond became stronger during the pregnancy, and in so many ways it’s been strengthened by Rowan’s birth. The day-to-day connection, however, has taken a hit.
Thank goodness for the weekends, because they’re our time to enjoy our son together and even find time to have non-baby-centered conversations. The weekends are my time to refuel, as Arthur helps me with household chores, meal preparations, and most importantly, Rowan.
This leaves me feeling refreshed at the beginning of the workweek as Arthur heads back to the office and Rowan and I are left to our own devices. I have more patience and stamina to deal with the more trying moments of motherhood. But without fail, as the week progresses, I miss Arthur more. Especially at night. Although we begin Rowan’s bedtime routine together, after bath and story time, Rowan and I are secluded in the nursery while he nurses to sleep. When I finally transfer our sweet boy to his crib, most of the evening is shot and it’s time for bed.
By the end of the week, I’m desperately looking forward to more time with my husband. I’m also a little resentful of the fact that he gets so much time to himself while I’m lucky to get a shower alone. This resentment sometimes translates into me being more impatient and short with poor Arthur. I finally realized this and explained my feelings to him, noting that it was nothing on his end. If anything, he goes above and beyond in both the husband and father departments, particularly on the weekends. I summed it up by saying that my tank is near empty at the end of the workweek. In response, he brought me home flowers the next night. What a guy!
I’m lucky to have a supportive spouse. He works hard providing for our son and me and deserves quality alone time just as much as I do. I still can’t help but wish he were capable of breastfeeding to help shoulder some of the nighttime responsibility.
On second thought, that would be too weird.