Let me immediately set the tone with this post—I hate divulging information regarding my finances. I hate talking finances, period! However, financial trial and error is part of growing up. It’s incredibly relatable, too. It goes hand in hand with the development of adult responsibility, which hopefully goes hand in hand with becoming parents. This was an area I had trouble with before having a baby, and today was a difficult opportunity to practice what I know is best for my family.
My husband Matt works very, very hard. I did not go back to work after maternity leave, and our lives have changed drastically in many ways. Before baby, we were incredibly go-with-the-flow. As young married people, we could float in and out of being properly responsible with our resources. We had a great time together, and I miss those days a lot! We were not trying to get pregnant when we accidentally did. Nine months sounds like enough time to wrap your mind around adult-ing, but it flies by more quickly than you think. Thankfully Matt gets two days a week at home (not always the case in management!) to be with us. I love doing anything with him and being intentional with the little “together” time we get as a family. In the past, our favorite together days were payday!
Today was payday. We usually would spend hours doing whatever came to mind—coffee, brunch, buy something pretty … you name it. It was a way to escape for a little while from everything on our plates. However, today felt differently than the other days. There was this new level of financial conservation I couldn’t shake and knew I didn’t need to anyway. We were planning on being downtown all afternoon with our daughter, but due to my heavy conscience, our day was cut short. I looked at Matt and said, “Why don’t we just leave now to beat rush hour and hang at home tonight?” It wasn’t fun, glamorous or exciting, but it was logical and wise. We got in the car and went home with deeper pockets and mildly bruised egos. Although we know our priority is our daughter, we still desire to feel like ourselves, but those days need to be a bit farther apart for now.
There is a tendency in me to want to know I can always do everything and be able to handle anything at all times. I don’t like admitting we needed to go home instead of going hard all day. I don’t like feeling dictated by my circumstances. It’s simply an area of maturity and growth I am experiencing. I am learning that life with our 3-month-old is a certain type of lifestyle, and I don’t need to make it something it isn’t. This won’t last forever, and right now I am trying to yield to the slower pace of our days. I don’t need to hurry up and rush into something that feels more familiar, quick and chaotic. We need to embrace this season, save as much money as possible and just chill for once! It’s hard for me, but I want to be a good steward of our resources now, so we can be set up for great success later.
In case you’re wondering what we did with our evening, we agreed on being entertained by our beautiful daughter, Bellamy. We listened to her talk while we drank some Malbec and watched “Designated Survivor.” I know a lot of people probably read that last sentence and thought, That sounds great! It was great! I love my family so much. I just need to sit back, relax when possible and soak up the fact that this is what Thursdays are like.