When I found out I was having a boy, I admit I was scared. I grew up with two younger sisters and was raised by a single mom for half my childhood. I didn’t really have friends who were boys, and there was apparently an unspoken agreement in high school between guys and me that we wouldn’t date. Now I was tasked with raising a little gentleman. What would I do with a boy?
I was thrilled for and secretly jealous of Arthur – he was going to have a built-in best friend! Someone he could build Legos, play video games, and roughhouse with, as cliché as it sounds. (To be fair, he’d do these things with a daughter too.) But I wasn’t sure of how I’d connect with our son. I was also afraid that I’d put so much time, effort, and energy in the younger years, when babies rely so heavily on their mother, only to be cast aside when he’s old enough to be too cool for his mom and consider his dad to be the sun, moon, and stars.
It didn’t help that many of the older mother-son relationships I’ve seen aren’t necessarily close. Mother-daughter relationships are inherently different, I know that, but I’d like to think that when Rowan grows up, he’ll still want me to be part of his day-to-day life. As someone who’s extremely close with my own mother, I want to have close relationships with my children when they’re adults.
Four months in, though, and my fears are mostly quelled. Rowan and I are laying the foundation for our future bond the same way we would if he were a girl—with lots of snuggling, kisses, talking, playing, and exploring, When he starts to have interests that are foreign to me, I’ll jump on the bandwagon with him. And when the time comes for me to step aside and let his papa take center stage, I’ll watch in admiration as my two favorite boys enjoy the bond only a father and son could have.
But I’ll rest easy knowing that I’ll always be Rowan’s mom, which is a special title all on its own. And I’ll have faith that I’ll be the kind of mother he’ll want to have a close relationship with in the future. In the meantime, I’m enjoying the kind of bond we have now, knowing it’ll pass all to quickly.