I’m not a pink and blue kind of guy. At least I didn’t think I was. Bub’s first fikey happened to be pink, with whales on it and stuff. Never gave it a first thought, really, until one day, we brought him home and one of the neighbor girls said:
“Eww, why does he have a pink binky?”
“Because we don’t subscribe to ancient gender stereotypes and we want our kid to be comfortable with himself and not bow to societal pressure to dress or act a certain way because it’s considered normal. Next stupid question!”
Okay, I didn’t say that. Too much to lay on a 4-year-old, maybe. Probably mumbled some joke about it being one of her old ones, bada bing. I’m here all week.
But I was kind of thinking it. What do you care what color his fikey is? In what way does this affect your life one iota? And where do kids learn that already?
Fast forward to a couple months ago. We saved Bub’s clothes, hoping to recycle them with #2. And then along came the Priestess, in all her feminine glory, sinking that battleship. People had bought us a ton of cute girlie clothes, but absolutely nothing newborn, which is what she happened to come out as.
So the first day or two we were scrambling, digging through those duds to find gender neutral stuff. One of the best was a purple and green striped onesie, which got the job done. Took some adorable pictures with her asleep in it on my chest, and then I saw them and thought: That doesn’t look like a girl!!
Then I caught myself rifling through her drawer for an outfit last week, getting mad, shouting “WHERE IS ALL THE PINK STUFF?”
I never felt this kind of weirdness with Bub, never even thought to worry about someone thinking he was a girl, hence the pink fikey.
But something changed. I’m to the point now where I get mad at other newborns in gender neutral clothing and THIS HAPPENS.
Am I really this shallow? Insecure? Of what? Some stranger not instantly identifying my child as 100% girl? Who cares, right? So what is going on here? Maybe all she needs is a blue fikey. Or maybe I do.