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Putting the "I" in Daddy

Written by: Josh April 11 2011 Has this happened to you yet? You’re out with some buddies, maybe a couple beers in, and somebody suggests some food. You with your irregular eating habits are about ready to implode, so you eagerly announce, ‘Oh yeah, Daddy would looove some jalapeno poppers!’ Ooh, you let one slip....

Written by: Josh

Has this happened to you yet? You’re out with some buddies, maybe a couple beers in, and somebody suggests some food. You with your irregular eating habits are about ready to implode, so you eagerly announce, ‘Oh yeah, Daddy would looove some jalapeno poppers!’

Ooh, you let one slip. Now this is obviously a dramatization, as we all know you haven’t hung out with your buddies in this capacity for weeks, possibly months. It’s more likely you let one slip in front of the bank teller (‘Yes, Daddy would like some cash back today’) or a telemarketer (‘How did you get Daddy’s number?’).

So what’s going on here? Who is this Daddy fellow and just who does he think he is? Sure, Daddy changes diapers and scrubs spit-up stains and feeds and burps, etc. These are acceptable Daddy duties. But then this Daddy character got greedy. He wanted more. Daddy started bowling and watching Sportscenter and doing crosswords. Like a corporate takeover, Daddy bought you out and immediately started dismantling you from the inside, leaving you a mere fa

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