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Ask the Experts: Finding mom friends Ask the Experts

Ask the Experts: Finding mom friends

I’m the first of my girlfriends to have a baby, and while I still love my old friends, I’m finding myself in need of some “mom friends.” Any suggestions on where to find them?

A: Although it can be tough to be the first of your friends to have a baby, this also means you will get the opportunity to meet and connect with lots of new people. We always recommend new moms sign up for mommy-and-me classes. Our personal favorites are music, gymnastics and swim.

It might seem funny to suggest gymnastics and swim classes for such young children, but they’re actually very beneficial for babies. With gymnastics, the instructors will help baby get used to working all of her muscle groups and fine motor skills. The same goes for swimming. Plus, water safety is an extremely important issue. You can enroll in these classes when baby is around 6 months old, and you can look forward to meeting a lot of other moms at them. First you will bond over how adorable your babies look in their swimsuits and gymnastics gear, but soon you’ll find yourself bonding over breastfeeding, sleep routines and the transition from drinking liquids to eating solids.

When baby is just 3 or 4 months old, you can sign up for music classes, where you will enjoy singing and playing instruments. Music is extremely stimulating for babies, and rhythmic music can have quite a soothing effect. This is also a chance for you to meet other moms with babies of the same age. Don’t be shy to ask your new mom friends to join you for a cup of tea after class. It’s likely they’re trying to build up the courage to ask you to do the same!

It’s important not to isolate yourself at home or dig yourself into a rut. Although it’s a bit of a pain to pack the diaper bag, load the stroller and actually get yourself to an appointment on time, it will be well worth it. As a new mom, it’s crucial for you to find a healthy, loving and supportive group of people who understand what you are going through and who are there for advice and like-minded conversation.

—Vicki Reece, mom of three, founder of and author of Joy of Mom: Celebrating a Mother’s Love

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