Tag Archives: Knocked Up

Week 19: The first kicks

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, enjoying some plastic apple pound cake and invisible tea with my stepdaughter, who was laughing uproariously at something, when I felt it. One teeny tiny pop in my belly that felt exactly like … Continue reading

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Week 34: Hope

“Do you think this time it will be different?” I asked in a soft fragile tone to my husband as we sat in the car waiting for the light to turn from red to green. Nick let out a deep … Continue reading

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Week 18: My pregnancy is not your pregnancy

“You haven’t felt her kick yet?” A friend of mine asked me when I revealed that our sweet baby was a little girl. Instinctively, I placed my hands over my belly, and shook my head no.  “Not yet,” I said. … Continue reading

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Week 33: Pampering pregnancy

 “Oh, you look so much bigger than last week,” a coworker said this to me on a Monday morning after not seeing me over the weekend. “What every pregnant lady wants to hear,” I responded in a playful, yet sarcastic … Continue reading

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Week 17: Baby brother or sister?

“So you’re finding out what you’re having today, right?” The ultrasound tech asked as she booted up the computer. I settled myself on the chair and smiled. “We are, but my husband couldn’t make this appointment. So I brought an … Continue reading

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Week 32: The courage to celebrate

I have mentioned before that getting excited about this pregnancy is very difficult due to the loss of my last pregnancy.  Every day that we move closer to the date of delivery I actually get more scared than excited. I … Continue reading

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Week 16: Belly changing invasion

When I was around 8 weeks pregnant, I remember cooking breakfast in the kitchen with the top button of my blue jeans undone. The bloated baby “bump” I read so much about had finally reared its … well … bump. … Continue reading

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Week 31: High risk

“I’m sorry that I’m such a complicated case,” I half teased my doctor as she directed me to lay down on the exam table to measure my stomach.  We listened to the baby’s heartbeat at the clinic, where I came … Continue reading

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Week 15: The sweetest thing

When my husband and I were in those early months of dating, I would often daydream about our future children. He and I would discuss names, talk about how we couldn’t wait to grow our family and imagine if a … Continue reading

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Christina Antus

Christina Antus is a freelance writer living in Denver with her husband and two daughters. She’s expecting her third baby in early December and hates the smell of her new Febreeze scented garbage bags—the ones she absolutely loved five weeks ago. … Continue reading

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Week 30: Birth planning

To me the idea of birth planning is an oxymoron.  To be honest, we didn’t have any plan going into baby No. 1’s birth and that was probably a good thing, considering her birth did not turn out to be … Continue reading

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Week 32: Moment of truth

Week 32 is a special one. Your gynecologist will likely schedule you to visit a lab for an in-depth ultrasound somewhere between weeks 31 and 33. It’s a scary and amazing time because, if all checks out well, this could … Continue reading

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Week 29: Positive affirmations for pregnancy

Lately my anxiety has been coming back again in full force.  It seems like the closer we get towards delivery day the more worried I get.  This past week I was super on edge and wound up.  I started experiencing … Continue reading

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Week 28: To share the name or not share the name

That is the question.  Whether it is nobler in the heart to suffer the harsh words and unwanted critiques of family members and friends, or to take the risk and share the joy you have for naming the little bundle … Continue reading

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Week 30: Shower, sprinkle, or skip?

I found out this week that my poor mom has been feeling tortured. She’s torn between wanting to throw me a baby shower and wondering if it’s appropriate to do so since this is my second child. When I found … Continue reading

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Week 27: What not to say to a pregnant lady

“Is this your first child?” I know it’s a harmless question. I have even asked it of other pretty pregnant moms in the past. But now, as a mom expecting again after a loss when asked this question I get … Continue reading

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Week 29: Hospital tour

I had the opportunity to tour the hospital in which I’ll be giving birth in just a few months. For anyone who is given the chance to do the same, I highly recommend it. Not only will you be able … Continue reading

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Week 26: Bonding with baby

“Around other pregnant people I felt, ‘Well I’m not really pregnant the way you are.  I’m sort of pregnant. I might be having a baby.’ ” Is a quote I read by a fellow loss mom reflecting on her past … Continue reading

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Week 25: Trust

It took me 30 years to come to terms with my body.  To accept all of her beautiful flaws and revel in her extraordinary womanly wonders, such as being able to create, support, and maintain life, not just my own … Continue reading

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Week 27: Planning

When it comes to planning for our babies, I feel like there are many services out there available to help us. I’ve been given the names and phone numbers of not one, but three lactation counselors by friends who have … Continue reading

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Week 24: Holding space

Sometimes I fear that others will overlook my grief now that I am pregnant again. That the birth of a new child will somehow make people forget about my first daughter.  I worry that sometimes, I do this too.  I … Continue reading

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Week 26: Happy pregnant New Year!

It seems like only yesterday I was making plans to attend wild New Year’s Eve parties. Wait. Was that just last year? How can that even be possible? The holidays take on a whole new meaning when you are pregnant. … Continue reading

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Week 23: Focusing on joy

It has been really difficult to embrace joy in pregnancy No. 2 after the loss of my first child to stillbirth.  Things that once brought delight and pleasure in my last pregnancy now seem dulled by the trauma from the … Continue reading

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Week 25: Focusing on health, not heft

It doesn’t matter what you weigh or whether you’re even slightly underweight before you conceive. There comes a time during your pregnancy when you just feel heavy. I know, that sounds obvious and pretty silly considering the fact that you … Continue reading

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Week 22: Reassurance

This past week was a rough one for me. I had a lot of digestive issues that led to an upset stomach over the past weekend, and then on Tuesday my stomach issues developed into belly cramps. I called the … Continue reading

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Week 24: A week of headaches, crazy cravings and crying

Hold the phone. I thought the second trimester was supposed to be all roses and magic and glowing skin? Is there something about week 24 that someone forgot to share with me? Namely, that it would be a nightmare week … Continue reading

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Week 21: Planning for a future that’s not guaranteed.

It is difficult planning for a future with the baby you’re expecting after a loss. The expecting industry, pregnancy magazines (like this one that I am honored to write for and are courageous enough to bring the reality of pregnancy … Continue reading

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Week 23: Talking about tearing

When I paid my monthly visit to the gynecologist this week, I did something out of character and compiled a list of questions for her. For some reason, even though I won’t have to face labor down for another four … Continue reading

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Week 20: Boy or girl?

“Do you want a boy or girl this time?” I asked my husband about two months into this pregnancy. “I don’t care, as long as it’s healthy,” He replied. Frustrated with his lack of playfulness and a safe response I … Continue reading

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Week 22: Nursery envy

I have nursery envy.  But not for the reasons you may think. Lately, I’ve been using Pinterest like a mom obsessed – pinning everything from chevron orange and gold girl’s rooms to nurseries with floral wall decals (seems so much … Continue reading

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Week 19: Five things to be thankful for during pregnancy

This month, as Thanksgiving approached I had set a personal goal of cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” and to notice each day what I was thankful for, be it my husband or comfy pair of socks. The one thing that … Continue reading

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Week 21: I’m too ‘old’ to be a mom, so bring on the tests

Uh oh. According to a Gallup survey, the results of which were released last week, the “ideal” age for women to get pregnant is 25. Since I was pretty much hopping from one horrible Brooklyn apartment to another at that … Continue reading

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Week 18: Hormones, grief and joy, oh my!

Lately, I have been extremely hormonal. I don’t like it when hormones get blamed for a woman’s slight change of behavior once a month or when a woman, seven months pregnant, cries in the aisle of the grocery store because … Continue reading

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Week 20: Oh no, the baby in my tummy is kicking A LOT

With the exception of a few areas in life, like work and (sometimes) money, I have a solid Type B personality. I’m also more or less an introvert who finds small talk and overcrowded parties draining. My husband Patrick is … Continue reading

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Week 17 : The Doppler debate

Flub, flub, flub.  Hearing the heartbeat calms my nerves for a few seconds, as the nurse lets the Doppler linger a little longer than what I believe is normal on my small but swollen belly. At 17 weeks I’m at … Continue reading

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Rachel Cashen

Rachel Cashen, a Maryland native, lives with her husband in Baltimore, where she works in marketing communications for a private healthcare system. She and her husband Dan were married in August 2012, and they are thrilled to be expecting their first baby … Continue reading

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Week 16 – The anxiety during pregnancy after loss

“How are you feeling today?” The nurse asked me this past Wednesday, as she closed the door to the tiny exam room for my 16 week checkup.  Those words apparently were all I needed to hear to release the pent … Continue reading

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Week 15: Pregnant again, after loss–leaning into excitement

Being pregnant with baby No. 2 has been a bittersweet journey.  My first baby, my daughter Nora, was stillborn at 40 weeks, after a PERFECT pregnancy, due to an infection that happened just hours before she was to be born.  … Continue reading

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Meet Lindsey

Please welcome our new Knocked Up blogger, Lindsey Henke! She has an incredible story to share, so be sure to check out her bio below, and stop back on Thursday for her first post. Lindsey is a baby loss mom, … Continue reading

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Welcome, Vivian Jayne!

We’re pleased to announce that Vivian Jayne was born September 26, 2013 at 3:10 p.m. Congratulations, Suzanna! Welcome to the world, Vivian. Birthday: September 26, 2013 Weight: 7 pounds, 13 ounces Length: 20 and 3/4 inches As you can see … Continue reading

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Guess who’s here?

We’re pleased to announce Charli’s baby boy arrived two weeks early! Congratulations, Charli! Welcome to the world, Rowan Arthur Dennis North! Birthday: September 28, 2013 Weight: 6 pounds Length: 20.5 inches Everyone is happy and healthy and getting settled into … Continue reading

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Week 36: Milestones

As Arthur and I celebrate our third wedding anniversary this month, I’m struck by how much we’ve grown together the last three years. Our communication skills have vastly improved, and we’ve weathered a share of highs and lows. I’m also … Continue reading

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Week 40: Falling for Vivian Jayne

Since birthing my first baby two years ago, I have realized an important fact about babies. They know lots of profound things when they are born: like how to yell. And poop. And look generally adorable. What they don’t know … Continue reading

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Week 35: Mom-to-be guilt

Now that Roo’s almost here (~ 5 weeks!), I’m thinking more about what my post-pregnancy life will be like. I plan on taking three months off of my editing contract job to focus on acclimating to life as a mom … Continue reading

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Week 39: Celebrating life

This past Saturday marks my 39th week of pregnancy, but, honestly, for the past month it hasn’t been a countdown to my due date that has been the most preeminent date in my mind. Instead, I’ve been counting upwards, at … Continue reading

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Week 34: Lazy days

It seems I’ve reverted back to the first trimester. Along with having what little energy I had left zapped out of me, I’ve been knocked down with some bouts of nausea and extreme stomach discomfort. It feels as though Roo … Continue reading

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Week 38: Ready or not

It’s funny how things change from one pregnancy to the next. As my due date looms ever nearer (just 12 more days to go!), my attitude and actions towards the big day this time around couldn’t be more different than … Continue reading

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Week 33: Baby Shower

Having a baby and getting married have a lot of similarities. Both are significant life events and take months of preparation; they elicit excitement (and often unsolicited advice) from many well wishers. These are generally the happiest times in an … Continue reading

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Week 38: Along for the ride

In my two goes at this baby-growing thing, I’ve had my share of on-the-edge moments. I’ve ridden jet skis, eaten deli meat (what can I say? I’m wild like that), and took a cross-country flight in my ninth month of … Continue reading

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Week 32: Weight worries

It’s finally happened – my engagement and wedding rings don’t fit as loosely on my ring finger. I thought I’d gotten away without this sign of my body’s engorgement, but alas, the heat of August and my pregnancy-related swelling finally … Continue reading

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