Despite your new found supermom powers, when it comes to making time for sex, sometimes you just can’t swing it. Between babies and work (or working with babies), time for romance is seemingly not on your side. But finding time to get frisky is easier than you think.
Hot and healthy
Having a kiddo means providing endless care to another wonderful, beautiful being, but this doesn’t mean you should stop caring for yourself. Sex is good for you! Not only does it help maintain and stabilize the bond between a couple, it has also been proven to relieve tension and anxiety—something any new parent desperately needs.
Unfortunately, one of the first things to get cut from your schedule once baby arrives is quality time with your partner. Keep in mind that sex is an integral part of any relationship. It helps you feel physically and emotionally connected to your significant other, and it provides a natural boost to your overall well-being. Keep your lines of communication open.
You may find it awkward to present the idea of scheduled sex, but we promise you’ll both warm up to anything that regularly guarantees some much-deserved nookie. After all, as your family begins to grow, the idea of relying on the whim that both you and your man may end up in the same place, at the same time—awake and randy—is almost laughable.
Just do it
So, you know you need and want to make time together, but when? Are you finding yourself with no free time to fornicate? Think again—baby has to nap sometime! We know it may seem like you don’t have time to blink, but dedicating time to your love life is absolutely necessary, and completely possible.
Look at both of your schedules to see when your free times coincide. Most parents find their days are packed with work and appointments, then they come home to an evening that’s all about baby—playing, feeding, bathing and, of course, bedtime. Ah, there it is: your one moment of togetherness! Of course, as you lay your baby to rest, in seeps the overwhelming urge to put yourself to bed as well—very few parents are fully functioning and feeling frisky by the end of their day. We can’t cure your ever-present sleepiness, but we can say that planning ahead of time could help you adjust your schedule.
Instead of trying to force your mind and body into “the mood” at the end of a long day, try putting the baby to bed a few minutes early or catch a power nap in the afternoon so you’ll have a little more energy for one another once the sun goes down. Or, if you’re an early bird, set your alarm in the a.m. to encourage some extra canoodling at the break of dawn.
If you find that either you or your partner’s schedule is tirelessly hectic, explore other avenues. Do you share the same lunch hour, or can you head to work early one morning in order to get off earlier in the evening? Try making your “moment” fall during baby’s nap time. Do whatever it takes to free up a few extra moments every couple of weeks, or as often as your schedule allows.
Now that you’ve started your coitus countdown, it’s time to make the most of your time together. Having a pre-scheduled arrangement means you have the freedom to plan and prepare.
Sometimes it is nice to go that extra mile. Don’t just mark your planner—get excited! Write love notes, research positions, primp, set the mood—convey your excitement to your partner the best way you know how. If you’re both short on time, skip the romantic bubble bath, but occasionally try to leave your appointment open ended. A quickie is nice every now and then, but longer love sessions are known to leave lovebirds feeling cozy and connected.
Hooking up on a schedule may initially feel forced, but that feeling will pass as you find that it brings a little regularity to a somewhat hectic, changing time in your life. Plus, a little preparation goes a long way … after a couple of months of planned action, you and your partner will both look forward to your premeditated time together. And we know with sex that good, you’ll be pumped to pencil it in!