The truth about resentment

Life with a baby got you down? You’re not alone. We get honest, bringing out the uncomfortable truth of baby resentment.
By P&N

Life as a mom
Every mother has a moment where she wishes she could go back to a time that didn’t involve crying babies, two hours of sleep or having all of her clothes smell like breast milk. Admitting a twinge of baby resentment may seem wrong—you could never imagine really having hard feelings toward your child—but relax. It happens to the best of moms.

A few weeks ago, you went through one of the most incredibly life-altering transformations known to woman—you became a mom. Now nearly every part of your life is just a little bit (or a lot) different. When you are ready to get out of the house, even the simplest trip feels like an ordeal. Nothing from your maternity or pre-baby wardrobe fits. If you actually manage to take a shower, it occurs to you that if your hair continues to fall out at this pace, you will be bald by next month. And the dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep make you look like a raccoon.

The ugly truth
It is perfectly normal to have a little resentment when you think about your old simple life vs. your new one. And that may come out as negative feelings and some of them may be inadvertently directed at your baby. You’re suffering from the “grass must have been greener” before the baby blues.

Pre-baby you were free to do whatever you wanted—see a movie on a whim, get a pedicure or just take a bath. Now you have to arrange childcare if you just want to go to the bathroom. But life is never easy. It seems impossible that you’ll ever get back to your old self, and the truth of the matter is, you probably never will.

But that isn’t a bad thing. Whether you are feeling overjoyed or overwhelmed, know that good moms sometimes have bad moments. That’s just being a mom. Take pleasure (and comfort) in the fact that the good parts of motherhood do outweigh the bad—by a long shot.

Women aren’t the only ones who suffer from baby resentment—dads can harbor feelings of jealousy as well. A guy resenting (while still loving) his new baby isn’t that uncommon. As mothers we can get so caught up in the day-to-day tasks of life that we might be unknowingly neglecting our partner. Think about it—all the time that used to belong to the two of you is now being directed toward someone else.

Take some time to talk to your man—reconnect over the new experiences and feelings that you both now share.

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Posted in imported, Motherhood, Parenting