First let me say that I could write an entire post on my frustration in the last couple weeks of pregnancy. I was definitely blessed with a smooth experience overall (minus heartburn and the inability to sleep), but I truly believed that I would go early and I was deathly afraid of being induced. There were literally tears the day we scheduled our induction. I wanted everything to happen as naturally as possible, and in my head—whether warranted or not—induction made things ripe for complication. Fear is an obnoxiously powerful emotion.
As usual, I went to bed unhappy and ungrateful. I had a serious attitude problem given the blessings of a healthy baby on the way and three thousand months of mild pregnancy. That was around 11:15pm.
A few minutes after midnight, I yelled, “My water just broke!” as I shot straight up in bed. Naturally, I decided to take a leisurely shower while Eric called our doctor, who was on-call, as luck would have it. Then we thought it best to finally pack our bags, grabbed some snacks for me to inhale since you’re only allowed ice chips during labor and headed to the hospital. I couldn’t really feel any contractions for the first 20 minutes after my water broke. Once they started, though relatively mild, they were only 1.5-2 minutes apart. To my delight dismay, within an hour they were more or less right on top of each other and were beyond awful. By the time my mom arrived two hours later, Eric met her at the door with, “Don’t try to talk to her and definitely don’t touch her.”
My intentions for a natural labor were fading fast. I’d been 3 cm dilated at my doctor’s appointment two days prior and was now only at 4 cm three-and-a-half unfriendly hours into the big event. My body had little to no opportunity to relax with the contractions being so close together and I was exhausted. Unfortunately, you just can’t know what to plan for when it comes to pregnancy and labor. That part of the whole process made me crazy … not to mention crazy nervous. Would the discomfort get even more intense? Could I make it another three hours? Four? Seven? Twelve??? I decided no. Cue anesthesiologist who arrived another 30 minutes later. By this point, I’m thinking of all the strong women that endured natural labor and feeling extreme guilt for not being strong enough to tough it out.
It was a huge relief for Eric when I opted for the epi. He was so extremely supportive of my intention to go natural, but I know it hurt him to see me uncomfortable.
Twenty minutes after the epi was administered, I could barely tell when I was contracting. The pain literally disappeared. I could relax!!! And you know what? The nurse checked an hour later and I was fully dilated. That’s all it took. My dad arrived shortly after and we all just waited for little Ava Bean to make her way down on her own. It was really a special morning having my husband and my parents in the room, talking and joking, watching the sun come up, and anticipating the arrival of the most beautiful human I’ve ever laid eyes on. By 7:45 a.m. the doctor declared that we were ready to start pushing, which I did like a CHAMP because I was so ready to meet our baby. Thirty short minutes later, Eric declared that it was a girl and she was in my arms (and already feeding!! Hooray!!).
I’m sobbing, remembering the emotions as we saw her for the first time. Her perfect little round face, tired eyes, head of hair. I pray that the memory of that moment will never, ever fade.
Because It’s Awesome founder Tobe Reed is a graphic designer, blogger and interior enthusiast with a penchant for quirky decor, unique spaces, showstopping art and ultimately, all things awesome. After a few years of corporate life, Because It’s Awesome was born out of a desire for a creative outlet and Tobe’s infatuation with interiors and decor was realized. The blog has become a place to share her many interests and life changes with like-minded style-savvy readers, who she considers friends she just hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting in person yet.