Pregnancy and Newborn’s June Book Club is laugh-out-loud funny. How to Raise a Husband is full of real-life relationship experiences, from six different women, who don’t hold anything back. Tonilyn Hornung did her research and is telling the stories that most wives don’t share, and it’s like hearing them from your very best girlfriends. You won’t find husband-bashing, but you’ll definitely have fun along the way. Hornung created a light-hearted and inspirational book that will help you keep the love and happiness alive in your relationship.
Here is our chat with the author:
Pregnancy and Newborn: I just have to start off by saying that I was laughing out loud (in the office, nonetheless) as soon as I started reading your book! Did you plan for it to be so lighthearted and fun or was it just something that happened naturally?Tonilyn Hornung: Thank you so much! Yes, I knew early on that I wanted to write something that was more like a conversation between best girl friends, so yes, I started out with that intention, but then what followed happened naturally. Aided by copious amounts of iced chai lattes.
P&N: It’s amazing how an idea can come about at the most random moments. Did you ever think about writing a book prior to that afternoon eating lunch with your girlfriend?
TH: Funny enough, I didn’t! My focus up until that point had been writing essays for magazines. Writing a book was never on my radar, but I’m so glad I was open to the idea, because writing this book was truly a labor of love—a slightly easier labor than I had giving birth, I hasten to add.
P&N: I was amazed at how spot-on all of the chapters were. I guess that’s what happens when the stories come from women who have been married anywhere from eight to forty-one years. As the relationship ages, would you say marriage gets easier or harder?
TH: It really depends. Some things definitely get easier. As a wife (or husband) you begin to learn more of your partner’s language and what makes him/her tick. But, keeping those lines of communication open can get tougher if resentments start building and aren’t taken care of when they first crop up.
P&N: I love that this book was written from six different perspectives. It’s nice to know we’re not alone when something goes awry in our relationship. Do you imagine writing another book on new circumstances as they arise? Especially now that you have a new baby added to the mix?
TH: Absolutely! I took detailed notes all throughout my pregnancy—in between trips to the bathroom to pee. And since my husband and I have had our first child, I am definitely not at a loss for material!
P&N: How is life with the little one? What are your top three favorite new-mom moments so far?
TH: Wow, I think I could write a book on that subject alone. I love waking up and seeing his huge smile first thing in the morning. Even if the night had been mostly sleepless, that joyous, toothy grin is better than a cup of coffee. I adore reading to him. He loves to pick out his own books now and will sit and read with me for as long as my voice can hold out. I am in awe at his baby-like innocence and unconditional love. I just love being around him.
P&N: We know that the books don’t exactly prepare you for everything before baby arrives. Do you have any moments that were not so funny at the time, but looking back on it now, you can get a good laugh?
TH: Oh boy. I suppose there’s one event that I actually blogged about here at Pregnancy and Newborn. On one of our baby’s first trips on a plane, I had to whip out my breast pump. It was a long flight and I knew I was going to have to pump, but I didn’t know that even properly shrouded I would thoroughly embarrass the male flight attendant on board. Oh, and then the battery ran out on the pump mid-pump. Of course!
P&N: I’ve heard that once a baby is born, the relationship between husband and wife can start to suffer. How has it been balancing your marriage and baby?
TH: Honestly, it has been more of a challenge than I thought it would be. I just assumed that husband, baby, and I would fall into our roles with grace and ease much like a pro on “Dancing with the Stars.” I didn’t intend on feeling more like a clumsy non-dancing celebrity. My husband and I have been seeking a balance since the first day, and each day we get closer and closer to feeling more like a complete family—with a full night’s sleep.
P&N: Any advice for new (or experienced) moms out there who are struggling with the balance?
TH: Trust your gut. Moms told me this from day one, and from day one I doubted myself. I read books and talked to other parents, and compared myself to them and then stressed out when I thought I was messing up. I learned (and am still learning) that “mom does know best.” Not because I’m a mom, but because I am my son’s mom. Finally, I am starting to trust that more and more.
About the author:
Job title: Stay-at-home mom and writer
State of residence: California
Child’s name and age: We call him “E” and 10 months
Celebrity: Harrison Ford
Indulgence: Starbucks Iced Chai Latte
Beauty product: Any Philosophy product
Weeknight dinner: Anything I don’t have to cook