But we all hear what we want to hear, and what I took away from this talk in my current circumstances is that people essentially WANT to help. It’s in our nature. But we often don’t know how to help, or how best to help. We need direction. We simply need to be asked.

So a couple weeks ago, I started back to work. To give a bit of background, when Bub was born, I remained full-time at my job until my wife went back to work, then went part-time. Then started working from home. Then quit. It was just a lot to juggle. My wife and I literally did the hand-off routine a few nights a week, we never spent any time together, and were generally pretty miserable.

Anyway, HP is reaching an age of moderate independence, which is to say she can sit up. And a job popped up that was part-time, almost tailor-made for our schedules, so I took it. But this time, I knew exactly what we were in for, and how to combat it. We would have to ask for help.

It’s not easy. Nobody likes to ask for help, I believe. Some people loathe it more than others, get all puffed up with pride and stubborn resolve, and end up quietly enduring. I am one of those people. Outside of me, my wife is the same way. So you can see the conundrum.

We’ve asked for babysitting help before, of course. Just for a night out, an anniversary, whatever. Even that wasn’t easy, because we were hitting up friends. With no family in town, it’s either that or pay a babysitter, which can make you second-guess ever going out.

We have some friends I knew were basically game, but babysitting invitations are no different from “let’s grab a drink sometime” offers. Intentions are usually genuine, but it’s up to you to then follow up. They’ve already thrown it out there, and diaper is now in your proverbial Genie.

So I basically just laid it out for a couple of our very dear friends—I was going back to work, my wife and I would need some “us” time or we might go crazy, fight constantly, end up divorced, splitting custody, etc. But no pressure. So, um, how are your Tuesday evenings looking?

Well, ask and you shall receive. Our very gracious friends elected to take alternating Tuesdays as a general rule, and have done much more than that. And so what if we go to a restaurant and have NOTHING TO SAY to each other? We just talk about the kids, mostly. Maybe the food. We eavesdrop some, but mostly just enjoy that unfamiliar sound of silence. But we are forever grateful for the time.

My point is that people can and will help you. But they’re not going to physically come over and push you out the door. Make the first move. Be bold. Just ask. The worst they can say is that your kids are hideous little berserkers that belong in the zoo. But they’ll probably just say yes, and be glad they did. I’m sure you will be, too.

This Mother’s Day, though, I was grateful not only for my usual gaggle of girls (my own mother, grandmothers, and mother-in-law), but for the slew of moms who’ve reached out to me in the months since I announced my pregnancy. The outpouring of love and support has overwhelmed and delighted me. When my panicked blog about creating a registry debuted, so many of my friends offered up their services. There were a notable few who immediately emailed me with direct links to their favorite recommendations, which I promptly added to the registry.

I’ve reconnected with old high school and college friends thanks to this process. And not just the ones who are moms (although those have been the majority)! I love that opening up about my pregnancy has welcomed a new wave of women into my life willing to share in the joys and woes of pregnancy and impending parenthood. There have been the rare few moms and moms-to-be who have sat in judgment or made this process a competition, but those individuals are the exception, not the rule.

All of the pregnancy books and apps make sure they clarify that every woman, and even individual pregnancies, are different. For example, nausea’s a common enough symptom to warn people about, but it doesn’t necessarily afflict everyone. And while some women experience cravings, others don’t. But one thing that seems true across the board is that moms and moms-to-be are willing to share their experiences, for better or worse. And to those who have pitched in and helped me get my bearings, I can’t thank you enough.

Someday I hope to pay it forward with other up-and-coming mothers. I also look forward to the relationship my son or daughter and I will share. While I hope to be as lucky as my mom and I are with our bond, I want it to happen organically. I’ve seen so many relationships where the parent is more invested in their child than the child is in their parent, and vice versa. I would never be the kind of mother who takes a disinterest in or abandons her children, but I don’t want to be the overbearing kind who smothers her offspring so much that they push me away.

I feel like I’m getting ahead of myself, per usual. Who knows what upcoming Mother’s Days will bring once I become one. Chances are, I won’t get there without the solicited guidance of other moms. So to all of you mamas out there, thanks to all that you do for your children and mothers-in-training like me!

Dear High School Era Version of Myself,

Hey man, how is 1999 treating you? I bring news from the future. You find parenting to be a rewarding experience. Also, Creed was never a good band, and your career as a Michael Jackson impersonator will never take off. Take a moment to reflect on all that, and keep reading. I promise that life only gets better from here on out, young Thomas. Stay in school, wear Hawaiian shirts less often, and trust that your facial hair will one day be glorious. If you need convincing, please see the attached photo.

Now that I have your trust, I want to provide you with valuable insight concerning parenthood. You are already familiar with the concept.  You once had to take care of a plant and pretend that it was a baby, as part of a home economics project in 8^th grade. Your plant died, but you remained determined to eventually have a child and water it sufficiently. You also watched a video about childbirth during your freshmen year health class. These videos are used to warn students of the realities of parenting, and are intended to promote smart decision making. In reality, they promote the scribbling of inappropriate doodles on the back of homework assignments.

I want you to know that the movie is much better than the trailer you watched in health class. The responsibilities entailed with parenting are still terrifying, but moments are enriched with new meaning. Plus, you get to dress him up in embarrassing outfits and laugh as he stares back at your camera lens.

After each sleepless night comes a morning of increased confidence and experience, and the bond between you and your little monster builds from there. I speak from little experience, but I can confirm that even a brief exposure to parenthood is profoundly life-changing.

I likely have some frustration ahead of me, but that’s just the complex result of an incredible bond that I never truly understood until now. This past week, the baby had to undergo a minor operation on his mouth. I was asked to stay with him as the doctor made incisions on his tongue and lips. I felt like we made eye contact the entire time, and it was one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. Only eight days into our relationship, the little guy is able to make me weep.

You have nothing to fear, Thomas of 1999. The adventure will be terrifying, but the relationship is worth it. Besides, when else would you be able force your silly interests upon another person? If you need convincing, please see the attached photo.

Sincerely,
Thomas from 2013

Finally, I can count on one hand the days left until my official due date! It won’t be much longer now! I’ll be able to wear my wedding ring! I’ll be able to eat a spicy tuna hand-roll! I’ll be able to wash baby vomit out of my hair! So many life changes just around the corner.

So, each time my OB-GYN checks my cervix (now I know how a Muppet feels), I hope to hear her say, “Wow! You are a million centimeters dilated! Time to push!” What a lovely phrase that must be to hear. It ranks up there with “Will you marry me?” and “We do have your size hanging in the back.”

Instead, while my doctor is poking around my cervix with her whole hand and looking for lose change up there, reality hits me in the form of sentences: “Well, it’s a little thinner,” my doctor’s voice echoes from down below, “Still not dilated …” And with that, my impending labor feels as far away as that elusive tuna hand-roll.

It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed being pregnant. I’ve enjoyed the swelling, and the sweating, and the big boobs. (Well, my husband has enjoyed the big boobs.) And it’s not that I’m in a huge hurry to sleep even less and be covered in vomit. But I am ready for the next phase of this to begin. I’m ready to walk through the grocery store holding my little one instead of waddling through the freezer section holding my back. I’m ready to move from being pregnant to being a mom. I wish my cervix agreed with me.

I realize now I should have formed a deeper relationship with my shy cervix. Looking back, I should have been nicer. I should have talked to her more. I should have told her how much I appreciated all that she does for me. I should have at least taken her out for drinks. If I only I could find some way to get her to trust me and open up so we can get this baby out …

Maybe George Clooney should talk to her…

View All Blog Posts By Tonilyn Hornung

• Something to drink for both you and baby. Stay hydrated! 
• A sun hat for baby, because that little noggin will turn red in a hurry.
• Sun protection. These wipes are awesome. (And they really work!)
• A small cooler or lunchbox to keep snacks chilled.
• Baby wipes—your baby will touch everything, and nature can get pretty grimy.
• A stroller to help you cart all your gear (and your baby, of course).
• A waterproof blanket: Spread it out under a tree and hang out with your babe for awhile. It’s guaranteed fun and amusement!

Park it by pnmag on Polyvore

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8

So there I was the morning after the Costco excursion, sleeping soundly at 39 weeks pregnant, resting in the fact that I had finished shopping for necessities in bulk, when I woke up to gentle pressure around my belly. I remember being excited because it was my first Braxton Hicks contraction. I also remember feeling a tad incontinent as I got up to go to the bathroom, where I noticed the faintest red streak on the tissue. A little over an hour later, I had another contraction. I had a hunch that the hint of incontinence was really my “water breaking” but I was thrown off because it was more of a trickling than the gush I expected.

Luckily, we had a prenatal appointment that afternoon. I came in, did the usual routine, and casually mentioned there was a chance I could be slowly leaking amniotic fluid. My midwife confirmed that I was. We listened to the baby’s heartbeat and everything sounded fine. We knew we could have the baby within the next day or so.

Knowing my birth preferences, the midwife suggested I labor at home until my contractions were four minutes apart lasting at least one minute for more than one hour, rather than rushing to the hospital too soon. We left the appointment with instructions to contact the on-call midwife at 7 p.m. and give her a heads up in the unlikely event my labor advanced enough to be admitted.

We headed to the post office at about 3:45 p.m. where I had one mild contraction while waiting in line. When we got home, I made a few phone calls, checked my hospital bag, packed the cooler with snacks, and gathered my labor gear (you know, soundtrack, headphones, birthing ball, etc.). I had my fourth contraction on the phone.

When my husband Michael came home around 7 p.m. after taking the dog to the kennel, I had a contraction that was stronger than the last two but still relatively mild. We called the on-call midwife as instructed and let her know the contractions were too far apart to come in yet. We also called our doula. Both suggested we just relax for the evening.

I decided to take a warm shower. On the way to the shower, I had a contraction I needed to pause and breath through. Maybe we’ll have this baby in the morning, I thought excitedly. In the shower, I had to use the wall for support during the next contraction. The warm water felt great but by the time I got out of the shower, I had to “take a knee” and focus on my breathing while contracting.

I asked my husband to run a bath for me in the bathroom downstairs. While I waited, I wrapped myself in a blanket and tried to use my birthing ball. It was awful. Maybe I’m using it too early in my labor to be effective?, I wondered. Then the next contraction hit and I was on my hands and knees on our bed. When Michael told me the tub was ready, I raced downstairs and got in.

He had dimmed the lights and lit a candle. It was beautiful. It felt great for a while but then I couldn’t find a comfortable position. My contractions were getting more intense but they were still not consistently four minutes apart—some were closer, some were much further. I got out of the tub and went into the guest room to listen to my affirmations and breathe deeply through the contractions. It was a little after 8 p.m. and it took less than 10 seconds of trying to be still through a contraction for me to know that headphones weren’t going to help. I needed to move!

For the next 20 minutes I was a brown blur, rocking, swaying, rolling, writhing and hands-and-kneeing through the increasingly intense contractions. Meanwhile, a worried Michael packed the car and called our doula, who could hear me moaning in the background. She said I sounded great and that she was on her way over. Michael came back to the guest room and I told him that I couldn’t do this for another 10 to 12 hours. It was too much for me. I was beyond disappointed that after all the work I’d done throughout my pregnancy, I couldn’t even get through my prelabor contractions. It was a low point. I had no idea it was my strongest moment.

I was about to start putting on lotion and getting dressed when I hit the floor to moan and move through another contraction, which by the way did not ease in like waves as I was told they would. On a scale of 1 to 10, these bad boys were starting at eight, spiking to 11 then coming down to nine. In other words: ouch. Michael was helping me to my feet when I felt my body suddenly and briefly bear down. I mumbled something about an involuntary push and asked him to help me into the bathroom.

I tried to sit backward on the toilet and use the tank for support, so I could rest somewhat upright. Then my body somehow pushed down again, strong enough for my legs to stand me up to counter the pressure. Then it happened again. I was standing there confused when Michael came to the door. “I need to walk!” I declared, for some reason.

He helped me into the dining room and when the next bear down/involuntary push happened, I knew I was having our baby right there, in our house, with just the two of us. When we finished walking around the dining table, I said, “I need to get on my knees.” Thinking it was another contraction, Michael started to walk toward the guest room until I said, “Michael, look between my legs.” He turned and looked as the baby’s head was coming out. I think he muttered “Oh my God” or something to that effect before he rushed off to grab some towels. In seconds he was back and I said, right in the middle of delivering a baby, “Not the white ones!” as if we had time for such nonsense. Michael put down a towel to cushion my knees then caught the baby with another towel.

At 9:16 p.m. we met our daughter. She was wide-eyed, pink and breathing just fine after a few coughs. It was, in a word, amazing. Our doula arrived shortly after and coached Michael through the cord cutting. The paramedics arrived with a gaggle of dumbstruck firefighters who were surprised we’d already delivered the kid and disappointed not to have gotten in on the action. They assessed her and said she looked perfect. In two hours we went from preparing for a relaxing evening to holding our healthy baby girl. We couldn’t have planned it any better.

But, having had the amazing blessing of being a mama of one for the last 19 months (and a mother-to-be of two for the past five months), I’ve come to see mothers and their special day in a whole new light.

Now, if I could make every day of the year Mother’s Day, I would. Partially because who wouldn’t want a box of Godiva chocolates and a pedicure every single day?! (Yeah. My kid has awesome taste.) But, really, because appreciation for a mama shouldn’t just be expressed one day a year.

Three-hundred-sixty-five days a year, a mother’s life revolves around others. Almost from the moment of conception (or at least the first bout of morning sickness!) she gives of herself completely. From pregnancy until a mama breathes her last breath, she is wrapped up in her child body, heart and mind.

I saw a perfect example of this last week while I was visiting my parents in California. Jacob came down with a terrible bug that introduced me to what it felt like to be covered in baby vomit (and in some cases diarrhea) … over … and over … and over again. Thanks to food poisoning or the flu bug (doctors aren’t sure which) Jacob was as pitiful as could be for four days of our vacation. Feverish and lethargic, he just wanted to be held and rocked and walked for hours on end. (One perk—I’m totally ready for the next arm wrestling challenge that comes my way.) After a trip to the ER on the second day, the doctor told us he had to be given fluids every fifteen minutes via a syringe when awake and every hour throughout the night.

Since Tom wasn’t with us, there was no tag teaming on baby duty. Thank the Lord, I didn’t go it alone, though. Though my mom isn’t able to pick up or hold Jacob, she was there to make sure we were as comfortable as could be, bringing us pillows, water, juice and ice chips. She even cut my food into bite-sized pieces so I could hold Jacob and still eat. None of this was easy for her. She has been fighting a severe illness, and being up all day and into the night taking care of us was a strain on her body, but she did it willingly. For her, like for me, there was never any thought of doing any less. It truly was a labor of love.

(For the record, my dad was a trooper, too. He took on laundry duty, which was no fun task that day, I assure you, and picked up juice and food for Jacob at the grocery store. Thanks, again, dad! I’ll save more of your praise for a Father’s Day post.)

Though the experience wasn’t one I’d care to repeat anytime soon (or, let’s be honest, ever!), it gave me an opportunity to get a deeper glimpse of what mama love is really all about. There’s no denying that caring for your children, young or old, is a whole lot of work. You know how the old saying goes, “If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.” But it’s a labor of love, and one that this mama wouldn’t change for the world.

Take inventory.
“The thing that I think is important when you’re pregnant is to look at the storage space you have,” says LeBlanc, who suggests taking a pen and paper and going to each room of the house where baby’s stuff will soon take residence. “Maybe it’s the laundry room with the new detergent, or the different things you need to wash baby’s clothes or the hanging space to dry them.” Once you have a list in place, you’ll know what you have to work with and what you’ll need to buy to make the space functional.

Purge.
LeBlanc suggests removing unnecessary clutter: “I’m a minimalist, and I encourage everyone to be. The worst thing you can do is get too much stuff for your baby. When baby comes, you’ll be too stressed to enjoy it because the clutter is overwhelming your life.” Begin by clearing out items you never use, as well as cabinets, drawers and shelves where baby’s goods will live.

Create a system.
“One of the very first things I did in my own nursery was to look at the closet space, rip out the one wire shelf that was in there and go get an affordable closet system that would give me not just one shelf but an area for triple hang and double hang. I needed drawers and shelves and baskets and a place for shoes,” says LeBlanc, who chose Organized Living’s freedomRail line for her own daughter’s room. “The same closet she had as a baby, she’s still using today.”

Think long-term. Try to find a future purpose for the items you buy. “Instead of changing tables, I much prefer getting a nice chest of drawers, one that’s a little lower, and using the top as a changer.” The idea, says LeBlanc, is that once baby grows out of the diaper days, you can still use the product for years to come. “Make an investment … that you’re going to use for a long time.”

Don’t spread yourself thin. LeBlanc urges parents to think about the goods that baby will need in each room. “After I had my girls, I had a small white wicker basket in each room, with a couple of diapers, wipes, some diaper cream, extra pacis and a little rattle. I didn’t want to have to run upstairs just to change a diaper. I didn’t want to feel imprisoned … I wanted to help the child fit into my life instead of trying to rearrange our lives around the baby.”

Keep it simple. “They are only infants and babies and toddlers for a very short period of time. The more organized you are and the less clutter you have to deal with, the more time you can spend with your baby,” says LeBlanc. “At the end of the day, that’s really what it’s all about … don’t feel like you need to have so many toys or things or be consumed by the clutter in your home. Keep clutter to a minimum and don’t let it steal away the precious moments in your life.”

I’ve talked about this before, but I just don’t see the world the same way as I used to. I view it through a different lens. News stories haunt me like never before. What if that had been my child? What must their mother be feeling? I find myself viewing everyday things as potential objects of harm. Isaac will be mobile soon.  Perhaps I need to get a new coffee table. One with less glass and metal and more cushion and round edges. And I swear everyone on the road is driving like a maniac these days.

It’s not just the sad or scary things though. I see sweet little moments between mothers and their children when they think no one is looking. I hear the funny little things kids say at the petting zoo and the way their faces light up when they open a present. I suppose I always saw these things, but now I see them as a mother. Somehow they’re more precious now.

Isaac sleeps in the crib that I slept in as a baby. Every night when I lay him down to sleep, I pray for him, and thank God for letting me be his mama. Often, I’ll think about how my own mama used to stand at the edge of that very crib and I was the one drifting off to sleep. There’s something about that that makes me feel so loved, and part of something so sacred.

I love being a mama. More than I’ve ever loved being anything else. I’m so glad I get to see the world this way, because even though it’s scary sometimes, it’s also pretty extraordinary.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!

“You mean no more getting up and panicking?” I said. “Right,” he answered. Enter the AVENT SCD535 DECT Baby Monitor.  Immediately I wonder how I am possibly going to figure out how to use this thing. More technology is never good for a sleep-deprived mom. However, I found that there was an easy to read “Quick Start Guide.” There were thorough safety instructions as well and a helpful question and answer section. I didn’t even need to run out and buy batteries yet; I could get those later as a backup (baby unit plugs right into the wall and only needs batteries if there’s a power outage.) After charging it all up for the specified amount of time, it was show time. Baby asleep? Check.  Monitor in hand? Check. With our movie going and snacks readily accessible we hunkered down for another night of quality DVD watching.

Amazingly the monitor told us the temperature and humidity levels in the baby’s room (as I’m always worried he’s cold or hot, or needs more moisture … you get the picture). The monitor has a feature that allows you to talk to the baby like a walkie talkie if you need to although we aren’t there yet. And, when I went to the bathroom and panicked that I had gone too far away my husband assured me that the instructions stated that the monitor would let me know if I was out of range! I must admit I did use the handy neck strap to carry the parent unit to the bathroom, quite a fashion accessory as well.

So, is it worth it? Do you shell out the cash? I think so. We have peace of mind. Our baby is snoring like a truck driver currently, but since I have checked the humidity levels and know it’s not too dry in there, I’m just going to have to wait out the signs of another cold. I do still peek my head around the corner and look in on my sweetheart, his monitor also supplies a night light and soothing lullabies which make his room all the more peaceful.

Price: $190
To buy: usa.philips.com

This week, two winners will receive a Body After Baby prize package containing both pieces of postpartum wear! Contest will run through Sunday, May 19. You can enter once a day to increase your chances. Check back here next week for the announcement of the winners!

So HP rolls a ball now. Like her clapping last week, this seems somewhat early to me. I don’t know, maybe I never thought to do this with Bub at said age, maybe we were running low on orb-ish objects around the house. Who knows?

It happened much by accident. Bub and I were in their room, working on our alley-oops, which we’ll just say are a work in progress. HP was sitting there, chewing on a (clean) diaper. You know, recreating. Her legs were in a V shape, and the ball rolled right in there. She kind of batted at it, as though it were a giant wasp interrupting her quaint argyle picnic. She swatted and the ball went careening off her leg and right to me. So I of course rolled it right back.

“Roll it back, HP!” I shouted. She looked up from her Size 3 snack, confused as to why I was not holding a bottle of milk. Unless I had put the milk in this big round thing. Perhaps if I beat it, the milk will floweth forward. DIE BALL DIE!!!! She hacked at it with a fervor normally reserved for angry butchers. The ball kind of sputtered and limped back to me, like a boxer on the wrong end of a 10-8 round.

I Vaseline-d the ball’s cuts, splashed some water over it, said some nurturing things and sent it back in for another whooping. Now she was really mad. She started Miss Piggy HIIII-YAAAAAAA-ing it, the little guy never had a chance.

But we’ve worked on it. Now she even puts her arms out to catch it. And while I still wouldn’t quite term what she does as “rolling,” she does in fact propel it from point A to point B. All’s well that ends well.

And then there’s this…

“Daddy, what’s that kid doing?” Bub asked.

Well, son, that kid is being an a-hole.

You see, Bub is pretty painfully shy. He’s gotten slightly better. Last year kids would run up to him, want to play, he’d literally run away from them. So we’ve worked on it in the playground off-season, the timing, rhythms, etc. Being one with the playground, fearing no toddler, etc.

So I encouraged Bub to climb the little ladder at the playground, and this kid is standing at the top, I crap you not, blocking him. The Obstructor. Not just blocking, but also mad-dogging Bub, and mumbling a lot of somethings, but the only discernible phrase was NO!

This was not covered in our training. Fuming, I started looking around for the alleged chaperones (this was a daycare flashmob); I had already pegged this kid as a bully after three minutes, surely they were aware of his disposition. Bub took it much better than I thought (and I did, frankly)—he just stood there, asking me and God and anybody who would listen WHY this kid was doing this to him? It was a fair question, just not that easy to answer.

This was not our first (and by our I mean my) altercation of the year. Similar situation, daycare group descending on our quiet little beach community of a playground, and this kid perched himself atop the slide and started barking down, at me, about Bub, “Hey, he looks funny! Why does he look funny?” So rude.

“YOU look funny,” I countered. Hey, sometimes you’ve gotta play to the level of your competition.

“No I don’t,” he said.

“Yeah, yes. I’m afraid you do,” I said, then delivered the real crusher: “No takebacks.”

He looked at me like quizzically, like this expression was twenty years old and he had no idea what it meant. Yeah, right, buddy. Mess with the bull and you get the horns, I’m just saying. It’s gonna be a great summer.

1. Pacifier pouch. A dual compartment container separates clean binkies from contaminated.

2. Phone case. An affordable case shields that not-so-inexpensive electronic.

3. Diaper case. A sized-just-right envelope holds key diaper swap components.

4. Balm. A do-it-all balm soothes baby’s skin irritations.

5. Wristlet. A sturdy spot (made out of upcycled sails!) gives mom a place to stash her stuff.

6. Formula dispenser. A holder for premeasured portions makes on-the-go meal-mixing a shake.

7. Bottle. A wide-base nipple allows for easy latch and a leak-free design provides fuss-free feeding.

8. Changing pad. A wipeable memory foam mat ensures public diaper changes aren’t nightmarishly memorable.

9. Blanket. A receiving blanket keeps baby covered and cozy through the ups and downs of daily outings.

10. Bib. A stowaway bib spares baby’s clothes from drips and dribbles.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Photo by Andrew Thomas Lee

Jodi Kendall is a writer living with her husband and toddler son, Townes, in New York City. Her clients include the National Geographic Channel, Nat Geo Wild and Wanderfly. You can learn more about Jodi and follow her blog via her website jodikendall.com. 1. What was your vision for the nursery? Usually I gravitate toward neutral color palettes, but we live in a rental unit in a Manhattan pre-war building where all the rooms are painted a bland white color. So I wanted my son’s room to be a playful, inviting, cozy and bright space that would encourage his imagination. Reading has always been an important part of my life, and I want my son to grow up surrounded by books, so I knew I wanted a reading nook in the nursery. I also just really like horses! So when we discovered the wallpaper, we pulled together the new-and-vintage equine elements, playing off a color story of aqua, grey and white with pops of walnut brown and dark navy. But overall, our vision was to create a space where our little boy would be comfortable, happy and inspired. 2. What would you consider your most essential piece? It’s amazing how the aqua horse wallpaper accent wall dramatically changed the tiny room, making it feel bigger and brighter, more cheerful and modern. The best part is that it’s temporary and removable, so whenever we want to change it or if we move apartments, it peels off like a sticker! This particular design is by Curio & Curio and sold through The Wall Sticker Company. 3. Is there a history or a story behind any of the pieces you chose? The portrait hanging above my son’s crib is a photograph captured by a friend (Nicole Rosemarie Photography) when Townes was just two weeks old. It makes me smile every time I look at it, remembering the way his tiny hand would curl around my finger, the smell of his perfect newborn baby skin, his trusting nature, the sound of him sighing in his sleep. We have a morning routine when we say hello to several things in the nursery, and Townes loves it when it’s time to “say good morning to the baby.” Now he’ll point at the photograph with this wide, toothy-gummy grin on his face. It’s priceless. 4. What are your favorite pieces and why? We adore the nursery furniture. The crib and changing table are both made by the Norwegian brand Stokke and have an innovative, grow-with-your-child design. The oval-shaped crib was originally the bassinet before we extended it out and, down the road, it can be converted into two chairs. The facing-forward changing table has removable cubbies, so it can serve as a dresser or bookshelf, but it also converts to a small or large-sized desk when the child gets older. The J.Schatz star egg nightlight is also special to us—in the darkness of the room, these little pockets of light beam from the egg’s hand carved holes and across the walls and ceiling. It’s magical. We love the wall decal (by Shanna Murray) on the door. But my favorite things in the room are the books! We have a bookshelf in the closet and rotate the books on the shelves every week or two. Right now we’re loving When Blue Met Egg by Lindsay Ward, Along A Long Road by Frank Viva and Abe Lincoln’s Dream by Lane Smith. I also have a lot of books from my childhood in the nursery… It’s special to pass on my worn, treasured copies of Sylvester and the Magic Pebble (William Steig), Imogene’s Antlers (David Small) and other beloved books to my little boy. 5. Where did you find these pieces? All over the place! We bought the Stokke nursery furniture and J.Schatz star egg nightlight at Giggle, here in the city. I discovered the big furry pouf in a random Pottery Barn Teen catalogue that showed up in the mail one day. I was so excited because I wanted a corner chair for nursing and reading, but there wasn’t enough space for it, and the traditional bean bag didn’t fit our aesthetic preferences. The curtains are from West Elm, the rug is a custom FLOR design, and the unicorn head is DwellStudio. I found lots of nursery pieces just by perusing shops on ETSY—the handmade cloud mobile (Made by Mosey) is one of my absolute favorite things in the room. My son cracks up laughing when we “make the clouds dance.” The framed horse lithograph picture is actually from a 1937 French dictionary, and the navy blue light switch plate cover was upcycled from a ruined copy of the children’s picture book, Blueberries for Sal. I found both of those items on ETSY too. You can check out the full source list on my blog. 6. What is your best tip for decorating? Don’t be afraid to play with color, pattern and texture to make the space something of your own vision and execution. I was inspired by color combos that I found on Pinterest, Apartment Therapy and in Domino Magazine and Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine, but I just had fun decorating the room as something all our own. It might not be everyone’s taste, but it’s all our design, and that makes the nursery perfect in our eyes. 7. What is your biggest secret confession? Oh, I had grand plans for a DIY light fixture that never happened. I’ve looked around at every store imaginable and still haven’t found a chandelier or pendant that I like (within my budget of course!). We had two main design challenges with this particular space, things we couldn’t do anything about, which continue to drive me crazy: the room is small and narrow, there’s an eyesore caged heating unit in the corner that you can’t block for safety reasons and a window A/C unit that reduces the natural light in the room. We had to play around with the nursery floor plan, moving the furniture around several times, to make it work for our needs. Also, it’s just short of a miracle I was able to capture photographs of the room when it was tidy. With an active toddler running around all day, things can get messy very quickly! 8. What is your baby’s favorite spot in the room? The big corner bean bag pouf, for sure. Townes climbs up in it to drink a bottle, pets the fur with his little hands, lifts and tosses the pillows, and cuddles with me on it for story time. 9. What is your favorite spot in the room? The same as my son’s! And my husband would vote for the furry pouf, too. It’s crazy comfortable. And this little reading nook has become a special part of our family bonding time. We’ve been reading to Townes since he was born, and he’s now almost fourteen months old. He recently picked a book off the shelf, walked across the room, handed it to me, and climbed onto my lap for the first time by his own initiation. It brought tears to my eyes! Now if I say, “Townes, want to read a book together?” he’ll come running. 10. What would you like to add about designing a stunning nursery? I guess not to sacrifice function for design. Our nursery carpet is modular FLOR tiles so that we can just clean or replace a tile if there’s a stain. We have plenty of pillows for all the time spent playing on the floor. It’s amazing how fast the nursery can transform from clean to cluttered, so some storage bins and shelves for quick cleanups are essential. Also, work with the space. I would have loved to have a glider in the corner of the nursery, but the room is teeny tiny and several pieces of furniture would’ve overpowered it. I never would have guessed that a bean bag of all things would become a favorite part of my son’s room! Ultimately, a nursery should be comfortable, safe, and inviting for a little one, a loving environment where a family will bond, a baby can explore, learn, and grow, and where memories will be made and cherished forever. So have fun with its design!

Which is why I’m thankful that Arthur and I have accumulated a collection of names for Roo over the years, even before we got married. There’s always the chance that he or she will come out and we’ll be suddenly inspired with a new name that perfectly suits our son or daughter, but it’s nice having names on hold. We’ve smartly been advised not to share the list, since not everyone will have the same affinity for the names as we do. It’s also hard to say you hate someone’s name after you meet them—especially when that someone is a brand-spanking new baby!

But baby names aren’t the only ones to be decided. What will we be called, or the baby’s grandparents? We’re personally partial to Mama and Papa, and have already been using those monikers with our dog (yeah, we’re those people). And my mother-in-law has lovingly been dubbed Gaga by our 2-year-old niece, which I adore.

My parents were still mulling over their options, which I find interesting, since I naturally assumed they’d go by Grandma and Grandpa. It sparked an interesting conversation one evening and led to a lot of fun looking up the terms on Google Translate in different languages. Looking to our roots for inspiration, we learned that the Swedish terms for grandmother and grandfather are “mormor” and “morfar”, respectively. Using the listen mode to get an idea of how to pronounce the different names added to the fun!

Ultimately, my mom decided on Nana. I’ve always loved this informal name for grandmother, and I look forward to incorporating it into our child’s regular lexicon. My dad—who’s technically my stepdad, and whom we all refer to as Pops—is leaning towards keeping his current nickname. Selfishly, I’m thinking, “But he’s my Pops!” As Pops often says, “I don’t care what you call me, as long as it’s not late for dinner.”

All joking aside, I know our baby is going to be loved by so many people (parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, friends) that it really doesn’t matter what they’re known as. What matters is that they’re a constant source of love for our little Roo.

1. Just days before my baby was born, I received an intriguing proposal from a friend. “Hey man, do you want to know if your baby is ugly? Parents just don’t know, and I’ll be honest with you about it, if you want.” My wife has prevented me from accepting his offer, but I remain intrigued. Ugliness Awareness is important. It is important to know whether my baby is hideous, in case I want to bring him out when people are eating or using heavy machinery.
 
2. During labor, I sat next to my wife as she writhed in pain. She was so impressive. I have passed several kidney stones, and once got a tattoo on my ribs, but I have never been half as tough as she was that morning. I wanted to do anything to alleviate her pain, and thought humor might work. At one point, she opened her eyes and found me standing up, staring at her. I waved my hands in slow motion, and spoke slowly. “This is all a dreeeeeam. You are not in paaaaaain. You are having fuuuuuuuuuun.” She was not amused. I sat back down and continued to hold her hand.
 
3. Soon after this, we were told that my wife was fully dilated. The doctor had prepared us to be ready for a C-section, so it was a shock to hear the nurse ask my wife to start pushing. I was tempted to ask “pushing what?” but wisely kept my mouth shut. Baby O arrived shortly thereafter, and I can say with confidence that he is a beautiful baby. I think.
 
4. Nearly two days after the birth, a nurse came to our room at 5am to draw blood from my wife. We had been up all night with an infant, so we were deep in sleep when she arrived. Because I was so tired, I almost missed that the nurse called my wife “Jennifer” or “Suzie.” I am not married to either of those ladies. My wife never noticed this, and began to roll up her sleeves and offer a limb to the nurse. While still lying face down on the couch like a hung-over frat boy, I threw a hand in the air and asked her to repeat the patient’s name. I yelled the words into a couch cushion. The nurse must have understood me, because she soon discovered that she was about to administer a blood test for the wrong patient. Whoops. I hope this nurse is never asked to bring babies to their respective rooms. They might never get there.
 
5. Baby O came home on Tuesday. We have had some glorious afternoons, several restless nights, and plenty of support. I now understand why people are unable to know whether their baby is ugly. He could have a neck beard and I would still call him beautiful. Then again, neck beards are underrated, and he can rock a neck beard with class.

I buckled in my twin 23 month old girls. The first thing I noticed is that the seat, from the center lap buckle to the back, is very narrow. My girls were practically sitting on the lap buckle.  They didn’t complain, but it didn’t appear to be comfortable. There was plenty of room for the two of them and their six stuffed animal friends that came along for the ride.  There was even a little pocket on each side to hold snacks or toys. The straps were easy to adjust, and we were off for a walk around the block. Over all it was a smooth ride. The parking break worked well on the steep hills in the neighborhood. I felt like I was in control of the stroller. The only problem I encountered is that when we went over the large speed bumps in the neighborhood, the bike trailer tow bar that is housed under the trailer would get scraped. There is not much clearance between the trailer and the ground. When we returned home, I collapsed the stroller which took about 5 minutes.  Not too long, but it requires you to take off the wheels and fold everything up. The trailer folds up quite flat, but it is still large and boxy.

The next weekend I decided to try out bike attachment. It was easy to remove the handle bar. Extending the tow bar and replacing the back wheels was simple. Then things got rough. You need to take off the washer and hub nut from your back bicycle wheel.  Mine have been on my bike for years and did not want to come off. I had to summon my husband for help. Good thing he was home, because attaching the trailer is definitely a two person job. You need one person to hold the bike upright and keep it steady as the other person attaches the coupler plate to it. Once the coupler plate is secure and tightly in place, attaching the trailer is easy and quick. Overall, this took my husband and I together 30 minutes.

I strapped my girls in again and we went for another ride around the neighborhood. As a bike trailer, it was not as low to the ground as it was when it was a stroller. It made it over the speed bumps without any difficulty. I was probably overly cautious and slowed way down to go around corners in fear of the trailer flipping over. But it held up well and stayed on both wheels the entire time. I don’t feel as if my girls were getting tossed around or shaken up while on our ride. They loved going for a fast ride behind the bike!  When we returned home I realized that I had the daunting task ahead of me of taking the bike trailer off of the bike. But as I read through the directions, I realized that you can remove the tow bar and leave the coupler plate on your bike for future use. Yes! (Except I should have installed it on my husband’s bike.)

Overall, I feel that this bicycle trailer and stroller are safe, sturdy and fun for my girls. It was time consuming to put together and a very large item to store, even when folded. But I would definitely recommend this versatile piece of equipment.

Price: $200
To buy: instep.net

Hilary has been busy with the launch of JOHNSON’S^® Baby Care Cards, e-cards which send supportive messages to moms across the country while also raising funds for Save the Children^®. We spoke with her about being a first-time mom, her involvement with the program and her Mother’s Day plans.

How has motherhood changed you and how does it change the way you see the world?

I love being a mom! I have definitely become more conscious to paying attention to the little moments—I appreciate everyday more because Luca changes and grows so quickly. I am thankful for him every single day! Being a mom definitely changed the way I see the world. Now, I’m not only responsible for my own well-being, but also Luca’s. I’ve always been passionate about giving back, but now I have a vested interest in programs that support other moms and babies, which is why I was thrilled to once again partner with JOHNSON’S^® Baby CARES.

This is your second year with the JOHNSON’S® Baby CARES program—what about this cause struck a chord in you and inspired you to partner with the campaign?

As a first-time mom, I’ve been so grateful for the support I received from family, friends and other moms over the past year. Their inspiring words and positive encouragement really helped me get through the more challenging days.

Not all moms are lucky enough to have the same support or even basic everyday resources to help them and their babies thrive. That’s why I’m so proud of this year’s JOHNSON’S® Baby CARES campaign in support of Save the Children®, which provides funding to ensure families in need have the basic essentials and educational resources to care for their babies, while delivering social support and positive encouragement to all moms along the way.

What was the inspiration behind the JOHNSON’S® Baby “Care Cards” that you created and what message do you hope to send with them?

JOHNSON’S^® Baby “Care Cards” were created to help support and brighten the day of deserving moms across the country by reassuring them that they’re “Doing OK!” I had the opportunity to personally create and deliver my own Care Cards directly to moms supported by Save the Children®.

Just in time for Mother’s Day, you too can help make a difference! Visit johnsonsbabycares.com to create a digital Care Card for a special mom in your life. For every card sent, shared or liked, JOHNSON’S® Baby will donate $1 to Save the Children® to benefit early parenting and childhood education.

What would you say is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from your work with the CARES program?

I’ve had the opportunity to visit with moms and babies that are assisted by Save the Children®. Being able to see first-hand how specific Save the Children® programs supported by JOHNSON’S^® Baby CARES are benefitting these families really helped me to recognize how important it is for moms to support one another. I am so lucky to have so many people in my life who encourage and reassure me every day!

How will you be spending this Mother’s Day?

We are going on a family vacation and I’m really excited to spend some time with my family outside of the craziness of LA!

My baby is having trouble adapting to bottle-feeding. What should I do?

Babies who are feeding well at the breast sometimes react quite strongly when they’re offered a bottle instead. It can cause a lot of upset and stress if you’re a mother about to return to work or if you want the flexibility of being able to leave a bottle with a caregiver while you do something else.

One tip is to ensure you’re not the person offering the bottle. Your baby may accept if from someone else who’s not the person offering the bottle. Your baby may empty bottle to hold and play with, so she becomes familiar with the object. Ask your caregiver to be gentle and patient when the bottle is offered and to avoid forcing or pushing.

If your baby is resisting the bottle and shows signs of distress when it’s offered, wait for a week or so before trying again.

Babies around 4 to 5 months of age can drink from a cup with assistance. Use a small cup (even an egg cup) at first, and then work up to a larger one, perhaps with a sput so she can sip and suck. Yes, cup-feeding takes longer at first, because of the small amounts going in at a time, but it’s a useful option if you feel the bottle route is closed because of your baby’s difficulty with it.

—Heather Welford, women’s health author and volunteer breastfeeding counselor

Although I’m happy with any gift (or no gift!) at all, there are always a few things on my wish list. I’m an easy person to shop for, and apparently also a cheap person—only one of my picks on this year’s list comes in at over $50. Here’s what I love:

Happy day by pnmag 

• Anything for the kitchen. Canisters and pretty tools make me smile every time. And this cookbook is at the top of my list—I’m as excited about the pictures as I am the recipes. 
• Closet cases: A person can never have too many felt flower pins, right? (Right!) Chunky bracelets are always a fave. And since my go-to slip-on shoes are looking a little worse for the wear these days, I think it’s time for a new pair of Toms.
• Craftiness is happiness. I am obsessed with this fabric and this thread. They are both perfectly me. And although scissors might not seem like the typical birthday request, this pair would make me oh-so very happy. (I guess I’m pretty low maintenance.)

Don’t forget to check out our Mother’s Day gift guide roundups, too! Lots of great goodies for a variety of styles.

The content of the report, which can be viewed in full here, is both hopeful and sobering. It conveys impressive progress. For example, the annual number of children under 5 who die each year has been reduced by 40 percent since 1990 when the United Nations set the ambitious Millennium Development Goal to reduce child mortality rates by two-thirds by 2015. Such significant strides are encouraging, but there is still work to be done.

This year, the report focuses on the first day of a child’s life, which for more than 1 million babies around the globe—in countries both rich and poor—is also their last. In 2011, 3 million babies died in their first month of life; three-quarters of those newborns died in the first week of their lives, and one-third did not survive their first day.

But the saddening statistics are not presented without hope. The three most common causes of newborn death—complications during birth, prematurity, and infection—can be drastically reduced with simple interventions, according to the United Nations and Save the Children. Four critical products in saving newborn lives—which cost between 13 cents and $6—are:

1. Steroid injections for women in preterm labor to reduce death due to premature babies’ breathing problems.
2. Resuscitation devices to save babies who do not breathe at birth.
3. Chlorhexidine cord cleansing to prevent umbilical cord infections.
4. Injectable antibiotics to treat newborn sepsis and pneumonia.

Of course, kangaroo mother care and early and exclusive breastfeeding are also key players in the mission to end preventable newborn deaths.

Carolyn Miles, CEO and president of Save the Children and mother of three, just returned from India, the country with the highest infant mortality rate worldwide, and has visited with mothers and their children in more than 60 countries throughout her career. Despite the vastly different cultures and circumstances she’s observed, she notes a clear commonality: “The thing that you find that’s the same everywhere is that every mom wants her child to have a better life—a lot of times, a better life than she had,” she says. “Particularly in those early years, and around birth, moms are really trying to make sure that their children are healthy and have a great start. That’s something you see in every country no matter how poor the mothers are. It’s very much the same everywhere you go.”

If you feel compelled to help moms like you both far and near (the U.S. has the highest newborn mortality rate—by far—of all the developed nations) give their children a better life, consider getting involved in the progress. Miles offers three can-do suggestions:

1. Let your government know you care about these issues. (Save the Children makes it super easy—click here to find out how to get in touch with your local congressman.)
2. Raise awareness. Consider sharing this post or the video below on Facebook and Twitter to help spread the word.
3. Give a gift. Text NEWBORN to 20222 to make a $10 donation or visit savethechildren.org. (If you’re still looking for a last-minute Mother’s Day gift, this would be a good one.)

Photos courtesy of Save the Children.

This week, the fun continues with more good news: I’m now more than halfway through this pregnancy, and, believe you me, I am thrilled!  We’ve settled on a name for Baby Girl (more on that to come). My nausea is totally under control (thank you, Zofran). And, strangers now notice that I’m pregnant, not just tubby.

Update: Contest is now closed! Congratulations to the winner: Melissa D. of Lewiston, ME!

Expecting a baby boy? Get swagged like a celebrity mom! Celebrity Chitt gifted a few of your favorite celebrity moms with the same products celebrating their baby boys, and now you can enter for a chance to win the very same gear!

Celebrity Chitt’s swag pack is full of gifts that moms (and babies) dig. Winner will receive a three-piece Rock apparel set from Oh Baby Couture, stainless steel bottles and a nursing cover by OrganicKidz, a gift bag and training consultation courtesy of The Prime Method, Little Moonjumper’s dino blanket, custom towel by Susan Murphy Inc., the winning mom can get into babywearing with a ring sling from Snuggy Baby, a Trumpette sock gift set, Toofeze organic teether and keep baby cozy with a colorful Elonka Nichole Mimi. Total swag package valued at $500!

Contest will run through Sunday, May 12. You can enter once daily to increase your chances. Check back here in this post for the announcement of the winner next week!

Truth be told, I used to worry, before I had him, that I might not even like our child. That sounds crazy and horrible now, but I was concerned that I might just not click with my own kid. Needless to say, I’m no longer worried about such nonsense. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him, that not only did I like him, but that I adored him in every sense of the word.

It remains to be seen what will grab his attention, but I’m quite sure that whatever it is, I’ll be right there beside him getting excited too. It’s hard not to burst with joy when he’s enjoying something.

Until then, I’m going to soak up every squeal of delight aimed at the cats as they walk by, and the endless chewing on anything he can get his chubby little, dimpled hands on. The ceiling fan is still the coolest thing he’s ever seen, and he can stare in a mirror all day.

All the while, I’m staring at him, because I cannot get over him. He’s the greatest thing ever. Whatever he ends up loving, I will always be his biggest fan.

Contractions felt stronger, but were still around eight to 10 minutes apart when I went to bed Thursday night. I fell asleep quickly and soundly, as I usually do, but was then awoken around 1:00 a.m. by a rather intense contraction. I got up quietly (as I had done on several nights prior as well) and sat at the computer in the back room, timing my contractions for about an hour. I did not want to yet disturb my husband, Jarrett, so that he would at least have as much energy as possible if this were indeed the real deal. By the end of the hour, my contractions were more like five to seven minutes apart and were quite strong. I woke Jarrett and told him I thought it was actually time this time and that I was going to go ahead and take a shower. He gathered a few last-minute items and then jumped in the shower himself. After, we decided to go ahead and call my dear friend, Kate, (I think it was around 2:00 a.m. at this point) to give her a little warning, as she was on call to come over and stay with Elsa until my parents could make the drive from Charlotte. I also called my parents, and they jumped in the shower and then into the car as well.

Kate went ahead and came over, and we chatted with her for a bit while I timed a couple more contractions and decided they were definitely getting stronger. I then went ahead and called into the call center for the midwife. I gave them all of my information and was told that Margaret (who was the midwife for my first birth) would be giving me a call back shortly. A decent amount of time passed with no call, and eventually the person at the call center called me and asked if I had heard from Margaret. I said no, and they said they would try to track her down. Not too much later, one of the other midwives, Anjli, called me. I explained to her what was going on, had a contraction in the middle of our conversation, and we discussed the plan of action. She said it sounded like I could probably hang at home for a little while longer and just be sure to call her back by 5:00 a.m. or 5:30 a.m. so we could avoid rush-hour traffic on the drive to the hospital or, of course, if things seemed to progress. Kate decided to stay and just crash on the couch in the back room while Jarrett and I went out for a walk. During the walk, contractions continued to come, and I was having to pause while riding their wave. I had decided that when we got home, I would try to lie down for a little while and see if things continued. Sure enough, lying down did not feel like the best option, and contractions were staying strong. Jarrett called the call center and then Anjli called me back (at this point it was about 4:00 a.m., I think) and I told her it seemed like things were progressing and that I thought I was ready to get into the hospital. She agreed. We let Kate know we were headed out, and made our way out to the car.

The car ride was not very fun with all the bumps, but thankfully it was a shorter drive than we had when I was in labor with Elsa. We parked and made our way inside and up to the seventh floor to the Labor and Delivery area, checked in, and a nurse led us to a room with a bed, where I was triaged. I believe at this point it was 4:30, going on 5:00 a.m. The nurse checked my cervix, and I was only 4 centimeters dilated, which had me a little bummed, since I was 6 going in with my first pregnancy. We went over piles of paperwork. She hooked me up to a fetal monitor, as well as a monitor that was measuring the strength and length of my contractions. Jarrett and I were a little concerned at this point because the baby’s heartbeat seemed to drop and blip off the radar completely during most of my contractions, and the nurse was none too reassuring about it, basically saying it was not a great sign and that we were looking for at least two “responsive” readings from the baby, meaning that I guess we wanted to see the baby’s heartbeat actually go up and stay active after a contraction. At this point, I think both Jarrett and I were preparing ourselves for an emergency C-section. I was sure that this meant the baby was too stressed by the contractions (many of which were topping out on the strength meter at this point, though they seemed to spread themselves out a bit more) and that I was not going to be able to have the natural waterbirth I was so hoping for. We said a prayer together and knew that whatever the outcome, we just wanted to be sure to end up with a healthy baby girl in our arms at the end of it all.

Anjli arrived probably a little after 5:00 a.m. and took a look at the printed strip from the monitors and, much to our relief, she said we should not be too worried about the drops in the baby’s heart rate. She said it was possible the umbilical cord was getting pinched during contractions, but that there were some very responsive readings from the baby after some pretty strong contractions, so it did not seem of concern. We were going to go on with the birth as planned.

We gathered our things and were taken to one of the labor and delivery rooms, which had a gorgeous view of Downtown Atlanta in the dark, all of the buildings sparkling in lights. I did actually take the view in for a moment or two before who would be my labor and delivery nurse introduced herself to me, my blood pressure was taken for the millionth time, and they drew some of my blood. And once they were done messing with me, my contractions told me I was ready to get in the shower. They brought me a birthing ball, and I sat on it there, hot water running all over me, for quite some time, getting through each contraction as they came.

At some point the nurse said that when I was ready, they needed to run one more strip on the baby, so I said I would go ahead and get out. I dried off, put on a gown, and got into the bed, where she hooked me up once again to the monitor and the blood pressure cuff. Contractions were getting really strong at this point, and pretty darn close together. By the time I was back off the monitor, I was asking about the birthing tub, which was not yet in the room or set up. I guess I was supposed to be at least 7 centimeters dilated or something before they wanted me to get in it, and since Anjli was not around at the moment, we continued to wait. Contractions were nearly right on top of each other, and I was trying to ride them out on the ball, but eventually was standing beside the bed, one leg hoisted up on top of it (not sure why—it just felt right for some reason). At some point the hospital gown was irritating me to no end, falling off my shoulders as I leaned over the bed, so I just said the heck with it and ripped it off and threw it. Then I ended up climbing into the bed and switching from lying on my side to getting up on all fours, pleading for the tub and explaining that I was already feeling an intense urge to push during the contractions. At this point, the nurse asked me if I wanted her to check my cervix. I gave a hearty “yes.” I was sure I was in transition. When she checked me, she said I was a “soft eight.” In my mind, I thought, “Seriously? This isn’t transition yet? Am I going to be able to do this?” But then I shook off the thoughts of incapability, and labored on.

Finally, people started coming in with supplies to set up the tub, and within about 15 minutes, it was ready to go. I was so relieved. Except that when I dipped my foot in the water, it was super hot, so then I had to stand there waiting, Jarrett helping me balance, while the nurse went to get a bunch of ice to throw into the water. That did the trick, and I immediately submerged myself. Jarrett was at work blowing up the inflatable swim rings to give me, as with Elsa I used them as pillows and floats to relax in the water. However, at this point I felt that there was no relaxing to be had. Everything seemed so intense. I just got up on my knees and held onto the side of the pool, lying my head down between contractions. Jarrett continued to bring me ice water as I asked for it — the extreme thirst I seemed to have when I was laboring with Elsa was certainly present for this birth as well.

Not long after I got into the pool, Anjli arrived. I asked her why I was feeling the urge to push and whether it was okay to do so. She said I definitely could. That with a push or two, my bag of waters would likely break. So I pushed with the next contraction, and nothing. I asked if she could just break the waters already. Anjli reassured me that I was so close. She said I was now fully dilated and fully effaced, and that the bag of waters was bulging. So I took the next push with great force, and Anjli ended up helping the breaking of the waters with her fingernail. A number of pushes later (and much squeezing of poor Jarrett’s hands and forearms while hanging over the edge of the tub), I felt the head come out halfway. I immediately flashed back to Elsa’s birth and how her head would come out a little and then go back in, which became extremely frustrating. I decided this was not going to happen this time around. So once the head was part of the way out, I tried to continue to hold some pressure and not move much until the next contraction hit, and then I pushed as hard as I could. Out came the head and a little relief. Then Anjli urged me to give her a couple of more good pushes while she worked to get one of the shoulders out. In labor time, this seemed to go on a little long and began to worry me a bit, but in reality I do not think much time passed at all. One shoulder came out, and then the rest of her came out really quickly. Everyone was shouting, “Turn around! Turn around!”And when I did, there was our baby, waiting for my arms. The extreme relief and major rush of endorphins was of the same intensity that I remember with Elsa. It is an incredible feeling, for sure, to go through all of that effort and then have it all end in an instant with such a wonderful, beautiful prize awaiting her first cuddle in your arms and kiss on the cheek.

Overall, I am labeling this labor and delivery as “intense.” It differed in a lot of ways from my first birth experience. Little obvious things like the fact that the labor and delivery room I had the first time around was very dimly lit, spacious, and seemingly more relaxing, with the big permanently fixed birthing tub. This time around, the room was brightly lit with the natural daylight from the windows (which was nice, don’t get me wrong—but just different), the room was fairly small, and the birthing tub was inflatable and smelled as such. And I was in the tub for probably a total of 30 or 45 minutes with this labor and delivery, but soaked for hours with Elsa. The fabulous labor and delivery playlists were back from the last delivery, though slightly updated, and Jarrett again did a fabulous job playing DJ, but I never seemed to really get in the zone like I did during labor with Elsa, and therefore cannot really connect any of the music with portions of the labor like I was able to do back then. Whereas I almost seemed in a completely other world during Elsa’s birth (until pushing began), I felt really present and in the moment with this one. Things seemed very vivid and choppy rather than fuzzy and smooth. And obviously things just moved a little more quickly, especially in pushing, so that was a big difference. Overall, though, I would not trade either birthing experience. The midwives were great. The nurses were really good, too (though the nurse I had during Elsa’s birth was truly heaven sent). And I have two healthy, gorgeous daughters, one resulting from each momentous birth.

Christina Helms is the founder of philanthropic baby clothing site Cradle & Thread.

The packaging was very straightforward. It was secured in a sturdy cardboard-type packaging so it was easy to pull out the individual pieces. The manual itself is very user-friendly, with large illustrations of each component and all of the special features. The illustrations are in full color and clearly label each feature (and there are a lot of them) so you do not miss anything crucial. The manual includes a great deal of safety warnings as well (battery warnings, strangulation hazard warning, ventilation requirements). The safety information is in very large print in the middle of the back page of the manual.

The camera, and charging stand assembly barely required looking at the directions. The power cords were clearly labeled (one for the monitor and one for the camera) with pictures of each on the adapter, so they can’t be easily mixed up. The monitor can be charged either by placing it in the included magnetic base, or simply by connecting it to the charging adapter directly. The entire assembly process took approximately five minutes, from unpacking the monitor to turning it on.

The video monitor itself is smooth, sleek and sexy! It is very lightweight, especially compared to other monitors on the market that we have considered. No battery installation is required, as it is already placed in the unit. Although it is lightweight, the monitor seems to be durable and has a dual purpose kickstand/belt clip on the back which is made of metal. The buttons on the monitor are large and clearly labeled.

The monitor also comes with hardware to mount the camera on the wall for better viewing angles. The camera comes with a very long power cord, so we did not need to do the wall mounting. We were able to place the camera on a nearby shelf and get a great view of the full crib. We do not have many outlets in the nursery, so the long cord was definitely an added bonus. The wall mounting hardware instructions were simple and clear, and we are confident it would have taken only a few minutes to install. The unit also comes with six security clips to keep the power cord away from the baby’s reach.

We turned on the monitor and it was already paired with the camera—it worked immediately. We started experimenting with the touch screen controls right away and found the displays very intuitive. My husband is definitely the tech geek of the family, but I found the product extremely easy to use and not intimidating at all. Whenever we needed to review the features, we referred to the manual’s illustrations for quick recall.

We first experimented with the camera’s manual scanning features. The range of motion from left to right is excellent. The range of motion up and down is a little limited, but still sufficient. The camera has remote scanning and a multi-level zoom that far exceeds what we have seen in other monitors. We recommend keeping the up-and-down limitation in mind when considering where to place the camera. Since the left-to-right range is so good, we found several places in the nursery that worked equally well for viewing the baby’s crib.

The other special features of this monitor include automatic motion tracking; room temperature monitoring in both Fahrenheit and Celsius; two-way audio; a nightlight with a remote on/off switch; LED visual sound indicator; and automatic transition to the night camera. The unit also has a quick-view video on/off button, which allows you to switch back and forth from audio-only to audio and video.

One of our favorite features that we have not seen on any other monitor is the automatic motion tracking. This enables the camera to automatically follow a person’s movement in the room. This is beneficial for babies in a crib, since they tend to scoot around, but would be even more useful for older, more mobile babies and toddlers who may get in and out of bed.

The room temperature feature seems somewhat inconsistent. Based on our home thermostat readings, the temperature reading on the monitor is sometimes on the high side. Other times, it is accurate. Overall, it’s only off by a few degrees, and this is not a big concern for us since we do not rely on the monitor to adjust the temperature of the room.

The switch from day mode to night mode is automatic and seamless in our darkened room. There is virtually no loss of picture quality once the camera switched to night mode, which we found extremely impressive. The camera includes a remote-controlled night light, which is just bright enough for comfort or convenience lighting, but not so bright it will wake a sleeping child.

The sound quality of the monitor is excellent—crisp and clear with no interference. The LED visual sound indicator, which demonstrates the level of noise in the room, is very accurate. The two-way talk feature worked very well and is extremely handy for communicating with someone else in the other room (or soothing a baby back to sleep!)

The monitor will support up to four cameras. We added a second camera while testing the unit. In order to set up the second camera, all we had to do was pair the camera to the monitor by pressing the pairing button on the camera. In a matter of seconds, the second camera was added and functioning. The settings allow you to manually select a camera to view and also automatically switch views from one camera to the next every 30 seconds or so. This is a great benefit for families with children in different rooms. We also used the second camera to spy on our two dogs, who relax in our bedroom during the day. We learned that they sleep a lot!

The battery does require an initial 12-16 hour charge, but had a very long battery life once fully charged. With moderate use, the battery will last close to the 10 hours of charge time it claims. This product also claims to have a 600-foot signal reception range. We tested it all throughout our house with no real reception issues, so this seems accurate. Only on the very long end of the range have we experienced any signal loss.

The product itself is white with silver trim. The magnetic rechargeable stand is white with a chrome bottom. Based on pictures included with the unit and the photos online, it appears to only be available in white at this time.

The bottom of the recharging stand does not have anything to “grip” onto a surface, so we were a little concerned about sliding/shifting. The whole unit seems very stable once placed in position, so this may not be a real concern. It is smooth on the bottom, so there is no risk of scratching furniture that we could see.

One of the minor negatives for this monitor is that the on-screen menu automatically times out after five seconds. There does not appear to be a setting that allows you to adjust the duration of the time-out. This is mostly noticeable when setting up the device, but is not really an issue during regular use.

We also noticed that the box and full manual only have written instructions in English. There is no Spanish or other language support, which seemed unusual.

Given the ease of use and breadth of functionality, this is one of the best monitors we have seen on the market. The touch screen capabilities, remote camera panning, and automatic tracking are our favorite features and really make this monitor stand out among many others. Could you get by with a “lesser” monitor, without all the fancy features? Yes, but as first-time, nervous parents, we really appreciated all the viewing options and felt we would always have a clear view of our baby. That kind of peace of mind is really priceless. We would not hesitate to recommend this monitor to family and friends who are seeking a high-end monitor that utilizes all the latest technology.

Price: $250
To buy: babiesrus.com

“Mothers have the great opportunity of becoming the most important teacher their child will ever have. The first three years of life is a time of rapid brain development and learning. A child who experiences quality conversations with mom and who is read to often, develops the language and cognitive skills necessary to be ready for success in school and beyond. Moms can not only help their child acquire these skills and knowledge, but can also inspire their child’s attitudes and feelings about themselves as learners which can have a powerful impact on later academic success!”

- Patti Rommel
Director of Research and Development
Lakeshore Learning Materials

We’re giving away a set of Color Discovery Boxes from Lakeshore Learning to one lucky mom. Entries are accepted today only. We’ll announce the winner on this post on Tuesday, May 7. Good luck!

 Winner: Congratulations, Kathy D. of Ellwood City, PA!

This contest has expired. Try our other giveaways. Good luck!

Mother’s Day is just around the bend and it’s time to wrap up something special. We’ve collected a few gift ideas that will let the moms in your lives know how much they are loved and celebrated.

And mom, don’t forget to treat yourself to one of these goodies—it’s your day!

Glam her by pnmag

1. A-Thread So Crabby scarf $28
2. Scojo Morris Sun Reader $112
3. Elva Fields On Golden Shores necklace $218
4. Lauren Blythe Designs gold initial necklace $28
5. Lydali Tangerine Tote $78
6. Yosi Samra Samara Metallic Leopard flats $70
7. Mar Y Sol Opal clutch $73 at harabuhouse.com

1. L’Occitane Almond Enchantment bath gift set $68
2. Ferrero Rocher chocolate from $24 on amazon.com
3. FTD flowers from $40
4. Belabumbum Lotus Nursing Chemise $68
5. Amoralia nursing bra $54 and thong $25
6. Lavanila Laboratories essential oils candle $12

1. Petunia Pickle Bottom laptop case $52
2. Otterbox Armor Series phone case $99
3. Parrot Flower Power wireless plant sensor (coming soon)
4. Apple iPad mini $329
5. Samsung Chromebook laptop $249
6. Kindle Fire HD $199

1. French Silver tea towel and onesie $9 and $12
2. Paper Plane Prints custom heart map$22
3. Uncommon Goods mother/daughter letter keepsake book $38
4. Kristin Kaser Britta pillow $32
5. Uncommon Goods flavor infuser water bottle $15
6. IMUSA espresso maker $13

So Bub and I sat there, ruminating on the whereabouts of Bobby and Doughy (his imaginary friends), him popping the individual beans out of the green bean pods, me silently cursing my crossword.  Pretty standard lunch scene, I’d say. Then Bub casually looks over and says:

“HP’s clapping, Daddy.”

I looked down at the quilt on the floor, my daughter sitting atop it like the queen of applause, going at it like one of those toy monkeys with the cymbals. And she couldn’t have looked happier, prouder of what she could now do, which of course made me outstandingly happy. Bub and I quickly joined in, and we all had a big-old time, clapping and singing and laughing.

Of course, they don’t all get your attention, at least not the second time around. With Bub, we always had a checklist handy of the developmental milestones, got really excited about things like him moving his toy phone from his right hand, to, wait for it, his left hand. Wow. Magnet schools all the way.

We couldn’t wait to tell the doctor and any poor souls who made the mistake of asking us how he was that he could now roll from his stomach to his back. He was on the preemie adjusted schedule, so we were probably overly attentive. But, man, did we really have that much free time?

So I get it, you want to make sure your kid is on track, not a slacker, putting in his/her tummy time. And, let’s be honest, we’re human. Our kids are a reflection of us, right down to their crude pinscher grasps. They can never develop too early, yet we want them to grow up slower.

But, objectively, you have to admit that some of these things are just not that impressive, come on. A few from Baby 411! include: “lifts head,” “reaches for objects,” and “responds to a loud noise.” I mean, define ‘responds.’ Does it mean she hits the deck, runs for cover, phones the authorities? Or just kind of half-looks in the general direction of the noise, drool spilling out of her mouth? Perhaps a blink, perhaps not; depends on her mood.

She’s been doing that stuff for a while now, largely unheralded by us, but this one seemed momentous. We all assign our own meanings to things, I guess. I had a SIMILAR MOMENT with Bub, when I walked in to get him out of his crib after a nap and he was sitting up. Freaked me out a little; until then he’d always been prone.

Like the clapping, though, it was one of those moments that jolt you from your exhausted, parental fog and slap you across the face with YOUR CHILD IS GROWING UP RIGHT NOW, PAY ATTENTION. It’s a weird, scary, beautiful feeling. We all need it once in a while; it feels good, like we’re doing things right. We can’t stop them from growing up, but it’s nice to stop and notice sometimes.

***Epilogue to TOUCHING…Again, I was out in the stroller and an older lady approached us. As we got closer, my spidey sense started tingling. I wouldn’t quite put her in the bag lady category, but I could tell something was amiss. Maybe it was the portable radio she was listening to. Um, yes, that was it, call me judgy. And sure enough, she started touching Bub. So my question is, what IS the proper protocol here? Should I carry a ruler and just start whacking any unwanted hands? I feel like I’m being too nice, maybe because I don’t want a scene with my kids. But I also don’t feel like this should give these people free license to let their paws run wild. With stroller season about to be in full bloom, I’d appreciate any input!

So in case you’re having trouble coming up with an answer when your doting partner asks What would you like for Mother’s Day, dear?, I thought I’d offer some sunny suggestions. Because although 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep is priceless, a sassy new diaper bag is something you can’t afford not to request.

(By the way, I know these are pretty splurge-y. Let me know if you’d be interested in a budget-friendly round up, and I’ll get right on it.)

 
a / b / c / d / e / f / g

P.S. For more fabulous mama bags, check out our Editor in Chief’s picks.

Name: Naomi Davis

When she started her blog just a few months after getting married in 2007, Naomi Davis expected no one other than family and friends to read it. But now with over 2 million page views each month, it seems the vintage-loving, bright lipstick-wearing twenty-something’s little corner of the internet has become a popular destination.

 And her web presence isn’t the only thing that’s been growing: Her family has doubled in size as well. Davis and her husband have recently welcomed two little ones into their lives, with their daughter Eleanor, 2, and son Samson, 11 months, born just 16 months apart. But although the transition has resulted in minimal sleep, the acclimating mom attests her babies are “the biggest blessing” in their lives. Shares Davis, “Raising these two special spirits together has really strengthened our marriage. Seeing your spouse as a parent, while he or she is holding or rocking or playing with a baby … you just fall in love all over again.”

Living in New York City with as many children as she has arms means Davis is never at a loss for something to blog about. “I share the good and the bad, whether that is the stresses of family life … or a day that is just hard,” she says. “But I don’t like focusing on that negative stuff for too long. It’s just not worth my time.” While Davis is open and honest online, she doesn’t hit publish without a second thought. “Since what we share online can be archived there forever,” she explains, “I try never to put up anything that could embarrass or disrespect my family in years to come. I want to share both the beautiful and perhaps not so beautiful moments of our lives while also creating a positive experience for my family and our readers.”

So far, the strategy has worked, affording Davis an online gallery of breathtaking photos and sweet sentiments and a network of virtual encouragement and support. “Some of our best friendships have begun on the internet,” she says. “One of the biggest reasons I love blogging is the connections I’ve made online.” Though her interactions with readers aren’t limited to the keyboard and screen. “Meeting a reader on the street is always a treat! It’s amazing how a simple, ‘Oh hey, I read your blog …’ can turn into a friendship that last for years.”

And running into a reader out and about isn’t unlikely, considering the topknot-sporting mom spends most her days visiting a museum or park or library with her children. “Since our space is tiny … I think we’d go stir-crazy if we stayed indoors all day. … We enjoy getting out and exploring our neighborhood.”

Most the time, that is. “This city is kicking my butt!” admits Davis, who lived in New York during college and her first years of married life and then spent a brief stint in Washington D.C. before returning to the Big Apple with her budding brood last year. “Living here with two small kiddos and a double stroller is a whole new experience,” she says. “If they could just get more elevators into the subways—or get the elevators they do have to work,” she laments, having more than once been stuck at the end of a subway platform with an out-of-service elevator, two kids and a double stroller to get up three flights of stairs. “Fortunately, New Yorkers are very kind—despite their reputation!—and someone always gives me a hand,” says Davis.

Like the city, motherhood has come with its share of challenges. But for Davis, it’s also proved an opportunity for self-improvement. “Motherhood pushes me to be the best version of myself every single day—or at least pursue the best version of myself,” she says. “These babies are like sponges. They take in everything I do and say. I am so grateful for the ways they encourage me every day to learn and grow and forgive and love.” She may only have time to squeeze in a post a couple nights a week before bed, but the busy mom is happy to let blogging take a backseat in exchange for full hands and a full heart. “I want to enjoy this time with my babies,” Davis says. “I don’t think there is anything more important in this life than family, and I’m so grateful for mine.”

Read interviews with the rest of the fascinating moms: Kerri Walsh Jennings, Carmen Matthews, Jessica Boulanger, and Emma Bing.

Name: Carmen Matthews

Carmen Matthews has wanted to be a mother for as long as she can remember. However, she and her husband struggled with infertility for two years and suffered two miscarriages before finally having a successful pregnancy—a pregnancy that blessed them with three sons and two daughters at once. “It’s surreal,” the new mom says. “Last year, I was praying to have a baby, and now here we are with five!”

The mom of quintuplets recalls the ultrasound during which the doctor discovered five heartbeats: “I was in shock for about two weeks afterward. It’s still hard to believe it actually happened to me.” Although the prenatal journey was far from typical—entailing bed rest at 20 weeks, one to two doctor appointments weekly, and hospitalization complete with daily ultrasounds for the last six weeks—its culmination was better than anyone could have hoped. “I delivered at 34 weeks exactly, and the hospital had planned every detail,” she explains. “We had a team of at least three people per baby, I had four surgeons, and there were many others on the team as well.”

The doctor held up the babies —Lorna, Layton, Carleigh, Rucker and Eason—as they were delivered, allowing Matthews to get a glimpse of each addition to her family before they were taken to recovery. But the proud mom didn’t have to wait long to see them again. “I was able to visit the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) within about two hours of their birth,” she recalls. “It was a miracle.”

Matthews was discharged five days after her C-section, and her babies came home at 12, 13, 18, 20 and 54 days, respectively. Since then, her parents as well as her husband’s have taken turns staying with the flourishing family, friends help out regularly, and volunteers come by to rock the little ones. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard,” she acknowledges, “but I think we are managing really well.”  She’s even sleeping around seven hours a night, although, “I do have to get up several times to pop in a pacifier,” she acknowledges.

During her pregnancy, Matthews was understandably worried about her babies’ health. “We were told from day one that it was unlikely we would maintain the pregnancy. I knew we could lose one or even all the babies, and it was a constant struggle to do my part to keep them.” Now, Matthews is happy to report the babies are doing remarkably well. And her fear of getting them confused has been put to rest too. “Each baby looks so different and has his or her own personality. It’s fun to learn about them,” she says.

While one baby is enough to keep most moms busy, Matthews insists raising five simultaneously doesn’t qualify her as an expert. “I learn something new every day,” she says. The best advice she can offer: “Don’t get too obsessed with things going your way. Just go with the flow. And take lots of pictures or videos because it goes by fast.” The abundantly blessed mom has visions of taking her children to Disney World some day and looks forward to watching her babies grow and experience the world. “I just want them to grow up to be good, healthy, happy people,” she says. And they surely will—in the blink of an eye.

Read interviews with the rest of the fascinating moms: Kerri Walsh Jennings, Emma Bing, Naomi Davis, and Jessica Boulanger.

Photo credits: Katie Mathews Photography

Name: Jessica Boulanger

By day, Jessica Boulanger is the vice president of communications at the Business Roundtable, where she helps the nation’s top CEOs come together to shape public policy. A self-described “very patriotic person” who cries every time she hears the National Anthem, living and working amongst the political hubbub of the District is a dream come true for Boulanger. But it’s not the only thing that has the successful professional pinching herself.

Boulanger has always had an entrepreneurial itch. “My mom started and ran her own business,” she explains, “so perhaps it’s in my DNA.” When she was pregnant with her first child, Avery, now 6, Boulanger recalls her prenatal wardrobe woes: “I felt like I was wearing a costume. The cuts were wrong, the colors were wrong, and the prints were tacky.” And so she set out to create More of Me (MoM), a maternity line featuring styles and silhouettes she’d actually want to wear. “I am proud I was able able to grow MoM—in tough economic times, out of my house, on nights and weekends—into a small business with some recognition and a following of amazing customers. I still squeal every time I see one of my dresses in Pregnancy & Newborn!”

A few years and two babies (Oscar, 3, and Wells Poppy, 5 months) later, Boulanger has enjoyed the fruits of her labor as well. “With my third pregnancy, I wore every single one of the styles I’ve ever created, every day for 10 months.” (Her favorite piece was the Avery maxi, which happens to be named after her firstborn.) “It gave me a lot of confidence to know that I loved wearing what I was designing and making,” she goes on. “My body changed so much when I was pregnant but when I kept my personal style, I felt so much more like myself—and that’s a good feeling with all the other changes.”

Between two full-time jobs and serving as full-time mama to three little ones, it’s a wonder this go-getter has the energy to do it all. Confesses Boulanger, “I found it very hard to be pregnant and juggle everything … My energy was low, and physically it was hard to keep up with the pace and demands of family life.” Now that her third has arrived, however? “I just drink lots and lots of coffee!” she laughs.

“Becoming parents [the first time] rocked our world,” she explains. But as her family and careers grow, “I know the challenges I face,” assures Boulanger. “It is a lot to manage, and you always feel guilty when you’re not doing something 100 percent as well as you could be. But I try to keep positive and know that I can’t be perfect and that’s OK and the kids will be just fine.”

As busy as Boulanger’s days might be, it’s unlikely she’ll be slowing down anytime soon. “I have been a daydreamer since I was little and there isn’t ever a moment that my mind isn’t racing about something I would like to create, a place I would like to visit, or an experience I would like to have.” And with her hard-earned, well-deserved successes both professionally and personally, she’ll no doubt make those dreams come true too.

Read interviews with the rest of the fascinating moms: Kerri Walsh Jennings, Emma Bing, Carmen Matthews, and Naomi Davis. 

Winning an Olympic medal is an impressive accomplishment. Winning an Olympic medal while expecting is beyond fathomable to most of us. But for Kerri Walsh Jennings, it’s exactly what happened. Walsh Jennings was five weeks pregnant when she and teammate Misty May-Treanor won their third consecutive gold in the 2012 Summer Olympics.