Welcome to my future

Since this is our first baby, I didn’t care either way whether “it” was a boy or a girl. I was just thrilled at the idea of there being a baby in there.

So when I woke up at 5 a.m. in a sheer panic on the day of my prenatal appointment to find out the sex, it came as a complete shock to me.

Some people freak out about pregnancy on the day they find out they’re pregnant, some freak out the whole time, some freak out on delivery day and some, though I am not sure how, seem to avoid freaking out at all. I, apparently, tend to freak out on the very day that I learn that there is an actual little girl or boy in my belly.

As I sat at the kitchen table with my bowl of oatmeal and my dog CiCi in my lap, I found it hard to eat or even think. In less than an hour, I would know the sex of my baby. The feeling was overwhelming. I was faced with a nervous energy that I hadn’t yet experienced during this pregnancy. It was akin to the way you feel before an important ballgame or those dreaded college finals. It was a crucial step to the rest of my life. There was going to be a new person in our family and that is a huge thing to take on at breakfast. I thought it was important to allow myself the ability to have a freak out and then move on. So that’s what I did.

When my husband Brack and I made it to our appointment, we couldn’t wait to know. It felt like a million minutes passed as we sat there contemplating our future brood. My nervous energy had transformed to excited energy and I was more than ready to know what to call my baby.

“Well, I don’t see anything yet,” the ultrasound tech said as she searched around to find out what we were having. Baby Brown had both legs wrapped tightly around the placenta. The tech did a few more moves around my belly which made Baby Brown do a wiggle, and then she said, “Oh, yep, wait, yep, that’s a boy.”

Team blue. We were having a little baby boy. My husband’s face lit up like a kid in a candy store almost immediately. I could already see the footballs, soccer balls, basketballs and golf balls floating through his brain. In my own mind, I saw little tiny cowboy boots, science projects involving real insects and an array of outfits that matched my husband. It was surreal to know that there was a little guy in there. We actually made a little dude.

After the rush of excitement that came with telling our friends and family, Brack, CiCi and I settled in and cuddled up on the couch. Out of all the memorable moments that happened that day, the one I cherish the most is that one—simply sitting in the quiet at the end of such a wonderful day with all three of my boys.