Week 35: Costumes I can pull off this Halloween

By Published On: October 31st, 2014

I don’t generally dress up for Halloween. So, when my […]

I don’t generally dress up for Halloween. So, when my 3-year-old asked me what I was going to be this season I told her, “tired.”
At the time, it seemed an accurate costume to represent being almost nine months pregnant and lacking severely in comfort and sleep. But, here are a few other ideas that suit my spherical shape:

  1. ginny-pumpkinEarth

Having my own gravitational pull, I could use Play-Doh for a moon or paper mâché asteroid belts to orbit me. Occasionally, I could spin, but not too much since my balance is about as graceful as a drunk hippo.

  1. Mike Wazowski

He’s basically just a third-trimester belly with legs with a huge eyeball. And a New York accent.

  1. Pumpkin

Not just painting my belly orange and decorating it with a Jack O’ Lantern face, but an actual pumpkin. Now that growing 2,000-pound pumpkins is in, I could actually enter myself into a pumpkin growing contest, middle-weight category.

  1. Tire

A third-trimester belly looks just like rubber and nothing rolls better than things that are round and rubbery.

  1. Eyeball

You can’t get any more protruding than a third-trimester belly, and what makes a better pupil than a popped out belly button?

  1. Captain America’s logo

An American bullseye that brings people’s eye right to your protruding belly button. This logo/belly combo also works as a shield for deflecting things. Like food, counter tops and very small children.

  1. Cupcake

Because really, who doesn’t love cupcakes?

  1. Simon Says Game

“Be done being pregnant! Awwww, you didn’t say, ‘Simon Says.'”

  1. Eclipse

This is what happens when I stand in front of the sun.
10. Pregnant
Why put any more effort into it than I have to?
I’m mostly too tired to dress up, so I’m going to go with number ten. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find a number seven.