Can I just take a minute to say that sometimes it is really weird to be pregnant? Being your budding babe’s home sweet home for the first nine months is basically the coolest thing. (Our bodies are amazing!) But all of the physical, emotional and mental changes that take place during that time as you “become” a mother make pregnancy an incredible personal experience … one that also happens to take shape in a very public way, thanks to that growing bump.
There are so many moments that make me feel like my body is not my own. Like when Birdie kicks and flips so much that you can actually see my stomach move, and it feels like I am harboring an alien life form in by abdomen.
I think this strange feeling, this disconnect, is partly because my body is housing another tiny person who is doing his/her own thing. I have no say when a 2 a.m. dance party sounds like a spectacular idea. I just have to try to sleep through it … or get up and have a bowl of cereal.
But another reason I feel like my body isn’t entirely mine is because it’s now up for discussion in ways I am not at all used to. There have been moments that my bump has been referred to as a separate entity. (As in: “How are you? How is the bump?”) My bump has even gotten mail addressed to “Bump Newton.” And people have started regularly commenting about my expanding size, as if it’s as normal as chatting about the weather. It never fails to surprise me when it happens.
I don’t mean for this to be another list of things never to say to a pregnant lady. I fully understand that those who’ve piped up, at least to me, really do mean well. They’re excited for me, and that’s sweet. But it’s also a bit awkward when people—even those close to you (heck, especially those close to you!)—are so thrilled about this impending arrival that they just want to be part of the experience … because right now this experience is happening INSIDE me. So it leads to some peculiar interactions. Like that time my father-in-law greeted me by poking my belly. I’m pretty sure we both immediately regretted that ever happened.
See what I mean? Pregnancy is weird.
I can’t help but feel a little odd—not offended, just odd. Maybe it’s my nature. I have friends who excitedly share every bump update with the world, and that’s wonderful for them. But I hate being the center of attention … and when you’re pregnant, you get attention and lots of it.