I know almost every parent likes to brag that their baby is advanced and can do many things that other babies at the same age can’t. But my son Everett has a super power. Honest. He has the power to read my mind, and then uses his super mind strength to alter the way I think and feel. I’ve been looking at the baby development chart, and it sure doesn’t look like most other babies can do that.
It really is amazing. Everett will use his super baby sense to discover if I’m in a foul mood, and then activate his ultra-powerful baby cuteness to conquer my bad feelings. He vanquishes my internal feelings of frustration and anger, and fills it up with joy and happiness. He always knows the exact moment to pour out the unbeatable cuteness.
Everett will be crying up a storm, and I’ll be begging for him to quiet down so I can continue my client work. I’ll start getting really frustrated and upset. I’ll be mad that Everett refuses to lie down and he continues to wiggle around in my arms, so that I can’t reach my keyboard to finish the time sensitive writing assignment. I start even cursing my wife under my breath, “Why does she have to go shopping right now, when she knows I’m on a tight deadline!” I’ve suddenly been filled with a toxic personality, and my pets don’t even want to be in the same room as me. I’m so angered that I’m ready to open up the window and see if babies can bounce. But then Everett suddenly stops his crying and he look right into eyes and gives me his award winning smile that melts my entire insides. Suddenly, I realize that my client work can wait another 20 minutes, and my son and my wife are the most wonderful things in my life. I have no reason to be upset with them. The most important things right now is to sing, talk, and play with my beautiful baby. My mood changes instantly after that one amazing smile.
I’ll be changing Everett, and trying to get done as quickly as possible because the commercial is almost over. Everett is having a baby tantrum with crying and kicking. Without me noticing, he moves himself closer to the container of water we use to wash him and he gives it a mighty kick that send water all over the dresser. It is Everett’s way of letting me know I really shouldn’t keep the container so close to his lethal feet, but at the moment I just want to curse and swear to the heavens. Then Everett decided that isn’t enough fun, and so he decides to add a bit more mess to the whole affair. This will be one of the times that I forgot to put the “safety” diaper underneath, and Everett’s masterpiece will cover the entire change mat. I’ve now got some serious cleaning to do, and I have no hope of watching that show that was supposed to be my one moment of relaxation for the day. I’m ready to grab some adoption papers and go back to just being a father to my pets. Then Everett stops his fussing, looks up at me, and lets out a squeal of delight. He begins to laugh and talk to me. My entire insides are filled with indescribable warmth, and I am reminded that I love this little boy more than almost anything in the entire universe. Besides, TV shows have reruns for a reason.
It is past 10:00, and I’m exhausted after a long day with an especially demanding clients, but Everett wants to cry about how he shouldn’t have to sleep and Emily is busy doing some late night vacuuming (because what else should you be doing at such an hour). I just want to sleep, but I can’t really do that with a baby demonstrating his vocal range. I want to throw Everett into an empty box, and express post him to a jungle where he can carry on with the monkeys. I’m mumbling words under my breath that I can’t print here, and I’m pretty close to doing some crying myself. I put Everett right in front of my face and demand him to tell me why he can’t just go to sleep. He then suddenly stops his crying and gives me a wonderful laugh. He then starts making the most delightful noises, and I know he is saying, “Is sleep really that important when you have a wonderful son like me? I love you, daddy.” And he is right, sleep is not so important when you have a bundle of joy in your arms. He has disarmed me again, and I start feeling foolish for being so angry. I’m again filled with happiness, and so proud I have such a magnificent son.
Parenting can be frustrating sometimes. The baby has plans that end up ruining mine. I can get really frustrated and upset, especially when I’m tired or trying to meet a deadline for work. Then my son reminds me how much I love my family, and that I am one of the luckiest guys in the entire world. He rids me of my anger every time. My son really does have one amazing super power.