Mother’s Day is different this year. Not just for the obvious, that I am a mother this go around, but for many reasons. I see my own mother differently than I have before, and my mother-in-law. I see all mothers differently. And I even see the women who longed to be mothers, but never got the chance, or haven’t yet. This motherhood thing, it changes everything.
I’ve talked about this before, but I just don’t see the world the same way as I used to. I view it through a different lens. News stories haunt me like never before. What if that had been my child? What must their mother be feeling? I find myself viewing everyday things as potential objects of harm. Isaac will be mobile soon. Perhaps I need to get a new coffee table. One with less glass and metal and more cushion and round edges. And I swear everyone on the road is driving like a maniac these days.
It’s not just the sad or scary things though. I see sweet little moments between mothers and their children when they think no one is looking. I hear the funny little things kids say at the petting zoo and the way their faces light up when they open a present. I suppose I always saw these things, but now I see them as a mother. Somehow they’re more precious now.
Isaac sleeps in the crib that I slept in as a baby. Every night when I lay him down to sleep, I pray for him, and thank God for letting me be his mama. Often, I’ll think about how my own mama used to stand at the edge of that very crib and I was the one drifting off to sleep. There’s something about that that makes me feel so loved, and part of something so sacred.
I love being a mama. More than I’ve ever loved being anything else. I’m so glad I get to see the world this way, because even though it’s scary sometimes, it’s also pretty extraordinary.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!