Even though my pregnancies were pretty much back-to-back, I still forgot about some of the unfortunate things ladies go through—most notably, the “not pregnant enough to wear maternity clothes/nothing feels comfortable/the seasons are changing, so there’s no point in buying maternity clothes right now” phase. You know what I’m saying?
Friday afternoon I got off of work super early. I had an entire day of sacred family time to look forward to. I got home as quickly as possible to start our day of patio-sitting somewhere because the weather was so nice! I noticed how hot it was outside and decided to quickly change into something else. This is a lie when I am not pregnant, so it was pretty much a dead end from the start.
I grabbed one of my go-to lightweight shirts and checked myself out. Ugh. I immediately felt my face become flushed when I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. It just looked off … you know because my body is changing and stuff. Silly, right? I know! But it propelled me down this long road of trying everything on and taking everything off. I went through my entire closet and came to the same conclusion again and again. Nothing fits right! Nothing looks right! I hate everything I own right now. Ahh!
I was on a whole new level this afternoon. Poor Matt took the baby outside and just let me go at it, knowing his efforts would only serve to make me feel crazier in the moment! I knew while in the middle of my meltdown I was being totally illogical, but I couldn’t bring myself to just accept the fact my body is growing outward—and it’s OK, it really is! I wanted to cry after making a huge mess and feeling I had ruined the start to our time together.
I got myself together, put on pants that are too tight, promised myself I would buy some maternity clothes for the warmer weather and just dealt with it. I was super hot and uncomfortable for most of our outing, but I was glad I finally set my issues aside to revel in the joy of my family. I remember this happening with my last pregnancy, too. For some reason, I thought it was a better idea to make due with what I had and not buy maternity clothes. So I didn’t … and by the end of it, I was pretty bored of wearing the same three outfits and feeling stuffed and squeezed all the time.
I obviously am learning my lesson this go-around. You get bigger more quickly with baby No. 2, and I am definitely feeling (and seeing) the difference between this pregnancy and my last. I know I will need to make more adjustments going forward and accept the things I cannot control. It’s not worth it to be a sweaty, sad mess all the time when maternity clothes are made to flatter the growing bump, not button it into jeans that simply need to go (for now). Thankfully we got home and the lounge clothes came out in full swing. Nothing beats going home! Instead of wallowing in self-loathing and hiding from mirrors, I decided to focus my energy on happier thoughts—like what was for dinner. Definitely pregnant! See you in the maternity section!