Quite often, I look at Chloe and think, “Where did you come from?”
Part of that is because everything about her happened so fast. Cam and I decided to have another baby, and bam—I was pregnant the next day. The pregnancy flew by since I was so busy taking care of Chloe’s older brother and juggling work projects. Chloe’s birth, you may remember, happened in the blink of an eye. One minute I was laughing and kissing my son goodbye for the day, and less than twenty minutes later he had a sister.
Chloe also looks incredibly different from her brother. When Caden was born, we didn’t know where he came from. He had dark hair that was already two inches long. His newborn face looked kind of Asian (Cam and I are Caucasian). His features were dark and his skin had a natural tannish color.
Chloe, in contrast, is the baby I always expected to have. She’s as pink and white as they come, with deep blue eyes and a head of golden fuzz. To be honest, she looks a lot like my sister, which I love.
All physical appearances aside though, it’s a bit strange having a new baby in your life that you don’t really know. I mean yes, I know and adore her, but her personality is only just unfolding. I haven’t a clue what she’ll look like when her baby fat melts off, or whether she’ll be calm or wild, or what kinds of interests she’ll have.
I can’t wait to find out, absolutely. But it’s a slow-moving process, this baby-rearing. So sometimes when I look at her, I wonder where she came from … how she landed in my life so quickly … who she’ll be.
I love her, yes, but in a different way than I love Caden. When I had each of my babies I felt an immediate sense of connection, protection, and the desire to bond. But the loving process is one that gradually unfolds and grows with each passing day.
I guess it just emphasizes the importance of savoring every moment of these early years—especially because you’ll never have this opportunity to watch your child’s life unfold ever again.