One thing I learned during pregnancy is just how hard I’ve always been on myself about my body. I’ve spent my life, as far back as I can remember, not loving my appearance.
Even at my most fit I wasn’t happy. Before I got married I worked out like a mad woman and got in the best shape of my life. The seamstress altering my wedding dress told me if I lost any more weight that my dress would fall off, so I was forced to stop 5 pounds from my goal weight. Therefore, I never really even enjoyed the hot body I’d worked so hard for, because all I could focus on was that 5 pounds that got away.
I knew going into pregnancy that I’d be prone to feeling really awful about myself if I didn’t take action against it. I started out a good 20+ pounds over my ideal and purposely avoided committing the number on the scale at the start of each appointment to memory. My doctor, bless her heart, never mentioned my weight the entire pregnancy. I essentially just decided from the beginning that I wasn’t going to let my weight be an issue for me. Surprisingly, it worked. I found a way to celebrate my growing body instead of hate it. It felt good.
At my 6-week follow up, I thanked my doctor for never mentioning it but asked if she could tell me what my official weight gain had been. In total I gained 50 pounds, half of which I’d lost by that time. However, when you factor in the extra 20 I was already carrying pre-pregnancy, I have a ways to go. I can honestly say I haven’t weighed myself since. Well, that’s a lie, I did try once but the batteries were dead in my scale. I think that was for the best.
I’ve decided that I no longer am going to obsess over the scale. I realized during that time how much happier I am in general when I don’t get caught in that trap.
I’m going to try to eat healthy and I’m going to exercise. I might even take up running again, we’ll see. Whatever I do, I’m going to enjoy it.
Don’t get me wrong, I want to lose the weight, I’m just done beating myself up in the process. I’m determined to never ever let myself feel bad about the way I look again. I think diet and exercise will be a lot more fun this way.
I’ll eventually get back to my pre-pregnancy body, I’m sure of it. Who knows, maybe I’ll go back to my pre-marriage body…and if I do, those 5 pounds will be just fine by me.