These days, things around my house don’t always get done in a timely fashion. Every couple of weeks I am digging through my underwear drawer pulling out my preggo-sized panties because I’ve forgotten that laundry needs to be done. So, I suppose it’s no wonder that my holiday planning took a turn for the worse this year. Suddenly, it’s the week before Christmas, and all through the house no one has a present, not even the mouse. There’s barely a decoration and there’s been no thought given to a Christmas Feast. So, for those like me, here are just a couple of helpful tips for side-stepping all the planning for the holidays. (Sorry this list is a bit late.)
- Get in your time machine and start buying your presents when you are pregnant. While preggo, you can always leave your cell phone, ipad, laptop, or Commodore 64 computer in the bathroom. That way you have something do to while pee’ing every 3.2 seconds–besides wondering when you will have to pee again.
- Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding, you are a personal chef for your new little eater 24/7. So, there’s obviously no time to cook for others, or yourself. This is why it’s a great time to take advantage of the season. Invite yourself over to some kind, spirit-infused friend or family member’s house, and eat all their food. (If you are able to cook a feast for your family while tending to your newborn or infant, I am in awe of you. And, can I come over?)
- Your infant won’t remember this holiday season, so get him gifts that will last a lifetime, like: an engraved Christmas ornament, a special teddy bear, or a vintage 1978 Han Solo action figure. Then, inform your little one that when you were his age you only got rocks to play with. And you liked it. Be sure to remind him of this several times a week until he’s 30. (Also, tell him about how you walked miles in the snow, uphill both ways, just to get to school. Kids love those stories.)
- Never run with scissors.*
- Be sure to cherish every moment, because as your mother keeps reminding you, your baby “…won’t be this little again.” And, next year you’ll probably be braving the elements in line at an over-crowded store on Black Friday only to find the person in front of you just bought the last new X-Box.
*This is not a holiday hint—just a good tip.