Even since I found out I was expecting, I've been impatient for that first time when I can actually feel the baby move. Initially, I was imagining this big moment with a huge smile (and maybe even some tears) when that first happens. But as I pause to mull over every little twinge, I may not even recognize that moment when it does come.
A few weeks ago, I thought maybe I felt a few kicks, since they were in the same spot where the doctor usually finds the heartbeat. But then they turned into a very mild cramp and I figured that those “kicks” were really just my stomach muscles complaining of the sudden extra stretching. And a consultation (one of many) with my mother showed that most of the time, women feel a little flutter before they feel big kicks.
When I first woke up this morning, I thought maybe I had felt that flutter. But then, of course, a few seconds later that “flutter” came back with a gurgling noise that told me to hurry up and make breakfast. Just a typical tummy rumble, nothing special (or even baby-related) about it.
When I was first experiencing problems early in my pregnancy, my doctor told me that since I still felt nauseous (as in I still had a tummy full of hormones) it wasn't a big concern, just something to check out just in case and keep an eye on it. I can't wait to switch from having a constant uneasiness in my stomach telling me that the baby is just fine to being able to count kicks and movements to know that the baby is as happy as can be (even though I might be miserable).
At my past two doctor's visits (one of them unscheduled, again), they asked me if I had felt any movement yet, and responded with a “don't worry, it's early, especially for a first-timer” when I answered with a “nothing definitive.”
I'm still waiting for that moment, ready to enjoy those early movements, since later on those same cute little kicks may leave me feeling like I'm bruised from the inside out.