There is something rather strange about catching a glimpse of your belly moving up and down out of the corner or your eye. The first time I watched my belly move with the rhythm of his kicks, I laughed. After a few more kicks, it was, Ouch! What are you doing in there?!? A few months ago, I was anxious for the little flutters to get big enough for my husband to be able to feel our son moving around too—and now he can see them.
I had always heard that as the baby ran out of room, movements became visual, but I didn't expect to see them with three months to go. I can just imagine Trouble scaring little children moving around in there a few months from now. No kids, it’s not a flesh eating monster or an extra limb trying to come out to grab you, this is what happens when you don't eat your broccoli. In reality, it's just a very active, very big baby in a very little space.
Finding patterns in his movements often makes me smile, though. He sometimes reacts to my belly being touched, moving to kick that spot. Sometimes, I think he's saying hi, other times I think he's trying to get the cat to quit leaning on him, or telling the ultrasound technician that she's intruding on his personal bubble.
But even though I can feel and sometimes even see him moving around in there, everything still feels a little surreal. And it probably will until the tenth sleepless night or the fiftieth diaper change, then maybe it will actually settle in that I'm actually a mom. I've wanted to be a mom for a long time, and even though now it’s nearly here, it still feels far off sometime. Maybe it’s my growing belly, swelling feet and being kicked and punched from the inside out that make me feel like this isn't even my body—they certainly serve as constant reminders of what’s to come.