I recently interviewed my baby about his favorite foods. Over a bottle of juice and some plastic keys, we discussed his unique and complex palatet; his likes and dislikes, his ideal meal, and whether he is buying into the whole “organic” craze. It has long been difficult to sustain a conversation with the little guy, but he managed to stay focused this time. He tends to make fart noises with his mouth and occasionally steals my eyeglasses, but this time, he remained focused on his favorite food items. In his own words (as interpreted by his mind-reading father), Oliver lists his favorite foods:
My Fist (see photo): There is a reason why my legs are not in the picture. I already ate them.
The Kitchen Trash Can: The trash can is metal, and looks like a mirror. It is shiny, occasionally lathered in crusty spilled food, and I can see a reflection of my face while I lick it. What’s not to like?
The Space Between the Couch and the Carpet: Dad likes burritos with anything in them. I like this small crevice in the same way.
This Fake Gorilla, Found Next to Real Gorillas at the San Diego Zoo (see photo): It is far too early to give an honest critique. I want to eat a real gorilla and then compare the two.
Eye Glasses: I don’t know what Laser Eye Surgery is, but I bet it doesn’t taste nearly as good as these things.
As anyone can clearly tell, Oliver is articulate and honest about his love for all things edible (albeit a loose understanding of the word “edible”). I have asked him to refrain from eating his toys, his friends, and his favorite zoo animals. Still, I would watch my back if I were that gorilla.