Before you jump to any conclusions, I’m not—for good measure, let me reiterate that—I’m N-O-T expecting another baby.
But, as of late, the topic has crossed my mind more than once. And, by “more than once,” I mean a few dozen times a day.
This isn’t because I’m pawing the ground to have another kid. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, and the whole thing has me wondering 1) Am I normal? and 2) Am I a wuss?
When Jacob was born, I was firm about having a year to spend with him before considering another, but now that that the one-year mark is nearly upon me, I don’t feel any more ready for another baby now than I did the moment after Jacob was born.
For starters, the memory of having another human exit my body is still fresh in my memory—along with the remembrances of puking for the first six months of pregnancy. Also, I’m finally getting a solid 8-hours of sleep a night, and it’s pretty darn awesome. Too, being a work-from-home mom, I wonder how I could possibly handle all of the phone interviews, researching and writing that I do with not one but two munchkins to keep up with. (Man, I do sound like such a wuss, don't I?)
I know that in the scheme of life—and in light of what an amazing blessing that children are—these things are minor considerations. Plus, I’d love for Jacob to have a sibling close in age. Still, I can’t seem to get excited about the thought of doing it all again. I'm so torn; can you tell?
With Jacob, we “just knew” it was the right time, and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll feel that way again. At least for now, life feels complete.
And, to be totally honest, I love Jacob so much that I have a tinge of what I can only describe as jealousy when I think of a hypothetical baby coming into the picture and taking my attention away from my sweet little guy. (Is this crazy talk? You can totally tell me if it is.)
At the end of the day, though, despite all of my mental reservations, I know that if I were to find out tomorrow Jacob was going to be an older brother, I would be instantly over the moon for the next little Palmer.
Can anyone else relate with all this? Or, if you have more than one baby in your happy brood, how did you decide when the time was right to add to your family? I’m sure it differs for everyone (and probably for every baby), but I’d love to hear your stories! So, go ahead; don't be shy. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section below. Someday, Jacob's future brother or sister may thank you.