Pregnancy&Newborn

Welcome to the world, Adele!

Nov 3, 2008 Well, the day has come and our little girl has entered the world. After nine months of good and bad times, of questions about anything and everything towards newborn care and why is this happening to my body – the wait was well worth it!
    On Friday, I went into the doctor’s office being 40 weeks and 5 days late. The doctor gave me several options. We could induce that day or do a biophysical profile on Monday to determine the condition of the baby and then induce later that week. She was quite adamant that she would not allow me to be more than one more week late – considering the size of the baby. Jeremy and I discussed our options and decided to go ahead and be induced that day. So – up to the hospital we went. I was induced by a medication called Cytotec– a suppository around 1 pm. By 4 pm – I felt my first contractions. Not to bad – I was able to breathe through them without any problem and was up walking around.
    By 5 pm – the doctor gave me my second dose of the medication. The nurses were estimating by early morning, my child would be born. Around 7 pm – I was feeling pretty strong contractions and by 9 pm – I asked for pain management. I was given an epidural and within five minutes – the pain was gone. I laid back in bed and relaxed only to feel this sharp pain at the top of my leg. It throbbed along the waves of the contractions and became quickly unbearable. The nurses ordered another booster of the epidural, which allowed me to get about an hour of rest before the pain was back in my leg. Another booster around 2 am gave no relief. By 3 am – I was 10 centimeters dilated and ordered to push.
    I was exhausted and in pain – almost too tired to push. I was placed on a birthing bar to help – this is a bar attached to the bed. I placed my feet on the bar and used a sheet attached to the middle of the bar in order to pull myself up with pushing. I pushed for about two hours and was beyond exhaustion. Since I was in pain – the nurses turned off the epidural pump. It was obvious that the medication was doing nothing but giving me a headache. The nurses were trying to be encouraging – they could see the head in the birth canal. “You are making progress – slowly but surely!”   Unfortunately, by 5:45 am – the doctor ordered an emergency C-section. She could tell nothing was happening and I didn’t have the energy to do much more.
    Once the spinal medication was given – all pain was gone and I was in la-la land. With Jeremy by my side – the doctor removed our little girl from my body and we were all of sudden parents!    Overall – the C-section was not bad. I almost preferred that route than the pain that I endured trying for a vaginal birth. The doctor did discover that the baby was OP or facing upward in the birth canal – she could never of been born in that position vaginally.
    I am recovering quickly from surgery. The only negative that I can think of about the procedure was the uncontrollable shivering. I was thoroughly disgusted with the epidural – it did nothing for the pain and gave me a severe headache. Now, I am home and enjoying the bundle of joy in my life. It is almost like a dream – I’m afraid that I will wake up any moment and find that this was all a dream.

    Our daughter, Adele was born on October 25, 2008 at 6:34 am. She was 8 pounds 6 ounces and 21 ½ inches.

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Getting the nursery ready for baby!

Oct 15, 2008One of the most exciting times of this pregnancy has been setting up the nursery. Since this is our first child – Jeremy and I have started from scratch with shopping for baby supplies.  For both of us – we like to analyze all items and read reviews before making any large purchase and that is how we treated many of the baby items that we listed on our baby registry.

            The crib was our first item received.  I looked at a lot of different cribs and read many, many reviews of what people liked or disliked about them.  It is amazing of the different type of cribs that are available – but the trend does seem to lean towards these convertible style cribs.   These items grow with the child – starting off as the baby crib, and then changing into a toddler bed, daybed, and finally a full-size bed.  The only pain that I can foresee about this style of crib is keeping track of the hardware for all the different conversions over the years.  

            The changing table was the next big item that needed careful scrutiny. I wanted a style that could be used for many years – so I looked for something that had drawers. Of course, when it arrived – it was in a large, flat box.    An hour or so later – Jeremy had the pieces in order and ready for assembly! It is amazing to how complicated it can be to assemble these necessary items for a nursery and how many different screws can be used. Maybe it would have been easier to have gone with a simpler style – but it looks great in the room.

            I think the most fun, though, was decorating the room. Starting with a blank, white room that was used for storage – I had the joys of deciding of what color palette to go with.  Even though we are having a girl – I wanted to stay far away from the color pink.   I think that some parents can go overboard on using that color for painting a girl’s room.  Pink on pink can be a touch too much – and difficult to find things as well. Since I choose cherry finish on the furniture – I decided to go with a light chocolate color for the walls. Then I allowed my creativity to come into play with painting items on the walls.          

            I chose to paint a rainbow from one corner to the other that hangs above the crib.  At one end of the rainbow is a Cinderella castle – that has pink and purple flags flying above the turrets. I had to allow for some feminine color in the room.  At the other end is a dragon holding a paint brush.  On another wall – I painted a baby dragon in a diaper with a pacifier.  The dragons are very “Dragon Tales” images – large eyes and cartoon bodies.

            Overall, it has been fun readying the room for our dear daughter’s arrival.  Stocking the changing table with diapers and burp cloths – it amazing to how small newborn diapers are!    Dealing with the small details, such as arranging stuffed animals around the room, placing children’s books on the book shelf, hanging the most adorable clothes in the closet.  Now, comes the hardest part – the waiting. Waiting for the big day when we get to show our daughter her new room.  I hope that she likes all the work that went into it – at least until she gets to her teen years. 

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The hassles of shopping for baby stuff

Oct 6, 2008As I began to organize and stock the nursery – I am amazed how baby supplies are sold.  First, look at baby clothes.  Probably one of the most important items to have on hand when the baby arrives.  You would need so many body suits or onesies, a few sleep sacks, and at least (and I do need minimum) one layette suit to bring home the baby home in.  A problem I have noticed when purchasing baby outfits are how they are sized.  You have newborns – which fit 5-8 pound babies, 0-3 months which fit 8-12 pound babies, 3-6 months and so on.  How do you know what size to purchase?   I haven’t shown any sign of going into labor prematurely and based on my weight and my husband’s when born – I think that my baby will be large baby, around 9 pounds.  Unfortunately, I don’t know how large until she comes into the world.  So, shopping for baby clothes is a challenge that I haven’t enjoyed.
    
Another issue that I have discovered is diapers. Again, diapers are sold by certain sizes.  Newborn diapers go up to 10 pounds.  The next stage goes from 12-18 pounds.  My question, as I stand for about 10 minutes studying the diapers – what size do you go with if you have a larger baby than usual? Those first few days, home with a newborn – you are going to go through a lot of diapers. You want to have several on hand so you don’t have to run out to the store but you don’t want to stock up on the incorrect size.  Why can’t the diapers come in a larger range – say, newborn size up to 12 pounds?   Babies are being born larger and larger every year – it isn’t unheard of having an 11 pound baby or even a 12 pound newborn.  Unfortunately, you don’t know until the baby comes into the world.
    
Another debate that I have had with myself is what type of diaper to go with.  I recycle and compost a lot of my trash.  It sickens me how completely unfriendly disposable diapers are to the environment. They do not decompose and fill up landfills with materials that are definitely not green.  My dilemma is to how many diapers a newborn can go through during the first few months of life.  I have been told that I can expect to change 8 – 12 diapers a day. That is a lot of diapers!  And diapers are not cheap.  Just to pick up 70 at the convenient WallyWorld store was almost $20.  So, I consider cloth diapers.  If I went with these – I have two choices. I can go through a cleaning service – where the cloth diapers are picked up and cleaned for me.  The major con with this choice is the cost – it equals approximately to buying disposable diapers. Not to mention having stinky, messy diapers in the home for a few days until they are picked up.
    
My other choice is to clean cloth diapers myself – but to what kind to go with?  There are several brands out there – all which receive good and bad reviews. I could go with pre-folded cloth diapers but would need some type of pin to fasten the diaper together.  I worry about pinning a cloth diaper with something that looks dangerous to the baby. Then, on top of that – I need some kind of liner to keep messes contained with the diaper.  And the major obstacle – what size to go with. Back to the same problem – you have to wait until the baby is born.    
    
I am not anxious to cleaning cloth diapers every day when I probably will be exhausted with just dealing with a newborn.  So, I don’t think I want to deal with cloth diapers right off the bat. I have heard that cloth diapers help with potty training – so many in the future.  But, for right now, I think I will go with disposables.  At least, until I know what I am getting myself into with diapering a baby.
    
Oh, the joys of preparing for a baby.  Too many choices and no instructions to follow.

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To be drugged or not to be drugged - that is the question

Written by Valerie Webb on Aug 24, 2008

As my pregnancy progresses farther along and the end is in sight - only a few months to go- I have been reflecting on a few things that need to be considered on the big day. Every one says that the delivery day is stressful and long (actually, I guess it could stretch over a few days, depending on the length of labor) - and that I need to make it as comfortable and relaxing as I can so that I can survive with minimum pain.

I have listened to friends, who have already experienced the wonders of pregnancy and labor. Many of them that I know have chosen to go the "natural" path - a labor without any drugs or interventions. Some have even given birth at home. Other individuals have loudly declared, "Why be a hero? Take the drugs if you are in pain!" My thoughts before this point, actually, have been - bring on the epidural! Bring on the pain killers! I do not want to be in pain. But, as my big day looms closer - I am actually torn on the decision to go pain free or not.

My husband and I have started our childbirth classes - classes that educate first time parents on what to expect for labor and the days afterwards. On the very first day - we had actually had shown to us what exactly labor involves. I have always heard of 10 centimeters dilated - but have now seen what occurs before that window opens. We have been shown some of the equipment that will be used in the delivery room, have had the roles of the nurses and doctors clearly explained as well. It was shocking to hear stated clearly that labor is a money making business for the hospitals and doctors would much rather have you give birth between 9 and 5 on their shift - than to go longer in the wee hours. It makes sense but still very startling to hear. The nurses can vary. Some support the natural birth and do all they can to support you through the contractions while others don't see a problem with the drugs or even C-sections. I have even learned that you must make it clear that you intend to breast feed right away or the nurses will give a bottle to the newborn so that you can rest.

The one piece of information - conflicting information - that the nurse instructor of our class told the new parents to be was the effect of the drugs on the newborn. In many cases - the drugs can interfere with the natural sucking reaction of the babies, causing difficultly with breast feeding. The longer you are on an epidural will deaden the nerve feelings around the mouth of the baby and can last up to several days after birth before wearing off. Now, I have talk to many mothers who had epidurals - and many of them never experienced any difficulties. But, all of them gave up breastfeeding after a few weeks. It was much easier and convenient to give a bottle than to struggle through feeding a natural way.

My feelings have always been - from the very beginning - to breastfeed. I mean, I would like to get my natural breasts back but breast feeding does help you loose the pregnancy weight and is much healthier for the babies. It is also MUCH MUCH cheaper! I had only planned on breast feeding for up to a year. I do not plan on being one of these mothers who continues to breast feed children who can walk up and button your shirt on their own! However, I am torn because I do not want any difficulties that could prevent me from breastfeeding, such as the drugs offered during pregnancy. I agree - I don't want to be a hero as well. If my labor is continuing on into the double digits for length of time, I will probably serious consider the dug option. My goal is to have a healthy labor for both myself and my child. If the doctor comes to me and states that he feels a C-section is necessary because the health of the child is in danger - then it is a no-brainer. I will not endanger my child so my breasts may one day go back to their normal size. I will not, however, go through a C-section because the doctor's shift is about to end and he would like to be home for dinner. Wouldn't we all?

On a scale of 1-10 for pain - if I am approaching 8 on the pain range, then I will probably request the epidural. I am prepared to go through some of the relaxation methods to help combat the pain. There are many methods - all of them require you to get out of the bed at the hospital. Walk, sit on a birthing ball (imagine one of the large exercising balls at gyms), taking a bath or shower, even sitting on the toilet! All of these positions allow gravity to pull the baby down the birth canal. Laying in the bed doesn't allow the baby to fall - resulting in more contractions to push the baby down. Having an epidural also requires you to stay in the bed. So with drugs, you are tied to the bed and go through more serious pain than you might have to. Now, I know that there will come a point where, during labor, it might be too late to receive that epidural. It can all depend on how I am progressing. If I am suck at 6 centimeters dilated due to the pain - then I'm sure I will ask for medicated help.

There are so many choices to make on that big day. I consider the options of drugs an important one. That might change with my first big contraction and once my screams die away - I might be politely asking for all the drugs they can give me. I truly don't know what to expect since I have never gone through labor. However - I can only hope that my labor goes smoothly and that I make the best choices for all. It isn't all about me and my pain tolerance any more. I do have my unborn child to consider. A message for her - Let's not take our time, please!

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Let sleeping women lie - on their side

Written by Valerie Webb on Aug 11, 2008

It always amazes me what you are allowed to do and not allowed to do when you are pregnant. Experts - those that write the many books that you can purchase when expecting - will ramble on and on about what is safe for you and your baby during the 9 months. Of course, then you can bring these safety issues up during conversations that you might have with others who have already experienced the wonders of pregnancy - and get conflicting results.

For example - at about 15 weeks along, you are not to lay on your back while you sleep. Sleeping on your back will allow the weight of your uterus (baby, placenta, water and all) to sink downward - compressing your major arteries along the backbone. This lack of blood will affect the movement in your lower legs as well as possibly affect blood flow to the fetus. So, pregnant women must sleep on their side - preferably on their left side. If you mention this to older women who gave birth ten to fifty years ago - the response that you are most likely to receive is a laugh. "I never slept a night on my side when I was pregnant and my child turned out just fine!" "Dr. Spock never stated a thing where sleeping on the back was determintal to your child." "Why, that is riduclous!" Of course, this confuses me - why is it all of sudden bad to sleep on your back when you are pregnant? Now, I can imagine as this belly gets bigger - that it might just become uncomfortable to sleep on your back. It definitely is harder to sit up as your belly button extends out into the world. It is a bit easier to get up out of bed when you are laying on your side - you just roll out and hope that you get your feet under you!

Now, for some people, maybe this isn't a big deal. Some prefer to sleep on their side. I have good intentions - I always start out laying on my side when I hit the sack. Unfortunately, I always wake up on my back. So this safety rule has been a bit difficult for me to adjust to. I will admit - sometimes, I just don't want to change my habits. In order to help change my ways - I have adopted the body pillow. I researched online the pregnancy pillow - a large U-shaped pillow that lies along your back, between your legs to reach up around your chest. This pillow helps prevent you from rolling onto your back and helps keep pressure off your legs. Now, I did not purchase this pillow. I couldn't find a local store that sold it and frankly, I like to touch my pillows before buying. It is a big commitment if this thing will be coming into between myself and my husband for approximately 25 weeks. I had also read on line that these pregnancy pillows were large and a bit cumbersome - taking up a lot of room. That might be fine for those who have king size mattresses but I didn't want to lose any more space that what Jeremy and I take up in our queen size bed. So, instead, I obtained a round pillow. This pillow is about 4 feet in length and round - like a swimming noodle but a bit larger in diameter. It is filled with poly beads so it doesn't flatten over time. I can position it to lay between my knees and still hug it to my chest - or lay it under my back so if I do roll backwards, I don't lay flat on my back.

So far - this pillow has worked. Almost to the point that I feel lost without it. I have taken it with my traveling and probably the housekeepers wonder about it when they make the beds - but who cares! I need to make sure I don't jeopardize the baby by cutting off the blood flow! I guess, in a way, I am lucky that this hasn't been that big of an adjustment. Occasionally, I will still wake up in the middle of the night and find out that I have pushed the pillow away. Usually, my bladder has waken my anyway - so I am lucky that I can re-adjust my sleeping position. At least I don't sleep on my stomach! I couldn't even imagine how that would feel with a belly about the size of a basketball

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What the #@%& is wrong with this world?

Written by Valerie Webb on Aug 5, 2008

Sometimes I wonder about the world I live in. What are people thinking about when they do the things they do? How can our society be so sick, so disturbing? I was watching the news the other day and watched in complete horror how this woman killed another over her baby! The deranged actually cut the baby out of the womb of the victim and left her to go to the hospital and claim that she had just given birth! What the hell is going on in this world!

I can't imagine wanting to have a baby so bad that I would even consider stealing a baby from another. I admit that I really never thought I would have a baby - comfortable living my life without that commitment. Yet - now being pregnant - I don't think I would change one thing about being pregnant (well maybe, I could give up the morning sickness that I suffered through). However, it is scary that you could come across someone in the world that would consider harming you to take away the most precious thing in your life.

I admit that I have worried over similar things that have happened to others in regards to their newborns. Take for example the baby mix-up in the hospital. I can't imagine how a hospital could screw up and send the wrong baby home. How there been families who don't discover the mistake until the child is in their teens. You put your faith in those nurses in ensuring that you have your baby in your arms when you go home - not someone else's. It gives delivering at home a new perspective.

One thing that you should do before your baby enters the world is to choose a new pediatrician. All the baby books that I own give a detailed method on how to choose a doctor to care for your newborn. You should interview about 4-5 doctors, asking about their hours, what privileges they have at the hospital, how do they deal with colic - before choosing one that you feel comfortable handling your precious child.

However, I didn't go through this process when I found out I was pregnant. After completing the home pregnancy kit to discover the truth - the only steps I took to find myself a doctor was to flip through the yellow pages and start calling. It never really crossed my mind that I should be picky about my obstetrician. I didn't even take into perspective the different categories there are: obstetricians who are M.D. or D.O.s, those that are board certified, and those that are classified midwives. I didn't take into account their beliefs in natural childbirth or if they are okay with epidurals, if other doctors will see me in the practice and what happens when they are away during labor? My method - which answered and had an available appointment when I started calling the few practices in the area.

Another thing in concern to my pregnancy that is out of my hands is where I will give birth. I have many friends who are strong believers in the Bradley method and giving birth at home. The Bradley method is a training method in preparing the mother for birth that doesn't believe at all in drugs during labor. I mean - natural all the way! Now, I have never experienced labor before but I have had a few people tell me it is the worst pain that you can suffer through- worst then even a kidney stone! So, I am thinking to myself that drugs to help deaden that pain might be a good thing, an appreciated thing during that process. I am also realistic that many things can go wrong during labor and the unexpected could happen. I personally feel a lot better knowing that I am in a hospital where the facility is prepared for the unexpected - not a midwife at home. But, is the hospital really prepared? How good is it? In my area- I have the one hospital close by. To go anywhere else - I would need to travel 45 minutes to an hour to reach another facility - whether it was any better or not. I have always heard the horror stories about the hospital - how you wait forever in the E.R, how they misdiagnosed the problem, or how treatment was horrendous. I have even had family members ask me of my opinion of the hospital and their childcare practices because they have heard the same concerns. I ask myself - what are my options? Do I want to travel further to a better hospital when the stories I hear are probably not even true? Especially when I might not have a choice anyway when or how quickly I go into labor.

There are many things to consider when you become pregnant that it can be overwhelming. Many of the things to consider are trivial - what to put on the registry list or what names to consider compared to other decisions that could impact your life as well as your child's. I lucked out in many of my choices so far. I am happy with my obstetricians - there are actually 3 different doctors that I rotate through as well as two midwives. All are very similar in their viewpoints during pregnancy and none rub me the wrong way. I will have to take faith that the local hospital will be competent enough to ensure everyone is cared for properly - even though I will be taking a tour of the facility soon to just double check. I will research for a proper pediatrician and put a lot of my faith into God's hands. I have to - because there are just some things that I can't control.

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Could You Hand Me a Tissue?

Written by Valerie Webb on Jul 27, 2008

One thing that many of us hear in the news is about mothers who are suffering from post-partum depression - especially when tragic events occur to the child from a result of this depression. I have read in many articles and a book that about 10% of women suffer from depression after birth and it is one thing that I hope never happens to me. Of course, in my readings as well as first hand, I have discovered that many women suffer from mood swings during pregnancy as well. It is a bit of surprise when you can be happy one moment and the next - all you want to do is climb into bed and pull the covers over your head.

One of my favorite past times is to read and I have been reading like a fiend because once the baby arrives, I'm sure I won't have much time to flip a few pages. I love many types of fiction novels - romance, historical, mystery and fantasy. A few times, these stories can bring a tear to the eyes when tragedy hits the main character. Lately though, I have been suffering a bit more than a tear or two. I just finish a novel that I have read many times over - when the hero of the story sacrifices himself to save those he loves. The writing always moves me a bit and like I said may make it seem that I have something in my eye. Well, this past time when I finished the novel - I went a bit further in my emotional state. I bawled - like there was no tomorrow. The waterworks turned on and I couldn't do anything about it. It was almost as if I watched myself from a distance - stating that I was being a bit overdramatic and that just made the tears flow faster. Oh the embarrassment when my husband walked into the room and thought I was dying!

The emotional rollercoaster doesn't just happen with good stories - it can happen over TV commercials as well. The flood works can turn on with the promotion of health insurance or an alcoholic drink. Of course - that might be due to the fact that I went cold turkey on drinking once I found out I was pregnant. Whatever the underlying cause might be to bring on the tears - it can be just a bit tiring. Imagine yourself at the movie theatre to see a good movie and you are sitting staring at the seat in front of you - repeating in your head over and over again, "You will not cry, damn it! You will not cry!" It makes me wonder how I will be when I am in the delivery room and the nurse hands me my child for the first time! I probably will be screaming out the tears louder than my daughter!

My point to all of this is not to embarrass myself more by acknowledging that I can cry at the drop of a hat. That I can wake up in the morning hating the world and hour goes by, I can't stop laughing at the littlest things. It is to warn all the relatives and friends around those that are pregnant. Watch your littlest word that you might utter. If you ask someone who is pregnant how they are doing - don't play down their comment when they stating something along the lines as, "I'm feeling fat and tired." Oh, how I have wanted to commit murder when the reply I hear is "Oh, you are going to get much fatter the further along in the pregnancy you go!" Don't make a big deal when your loved one starts to cry over spilled milk - literally. Just help clean it up and go on like nothing happened. I know not everyone might feel like I do when I am upset but I don't like to draw more attention to the fact by trying to explain why I shedding tears like a thunderstorm. I just want those arms around me and to hear the words, "I sorry I put you though this." Because believe me - it is always the guy's fault when you are pregnant and suffering!

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The big moment in pregnancy - the sonogram

Written by Valerie Webb on Jul 21, 2008

At approximately 21 weeks into your pregnancy, your doctor will tell you it is time for your sonogram. What does this mean? Most everyone knows about sonograms - that fuzzy black and white picture that you stare at so hard to determine what the heck you are looking at. It is also the moment when you could find out what you are having.

Just about everyone who finds out that Jeremy and I are having a baby - we are asked that one question: Are you going to find out the sex? Now, I respect those couples that like to wait. I know of many who haven't found out on any of their babies - instead choosing to be surprised at birth. Frankly, I couldn't stand the suspense! I believe it to be necessary to know what you are having so life could be made that much simpler. You would know what color scheme to choose for the nursery, you could decide on what name before birth, it even makes is easy on those buying gifts for you. The neutral yellows and greens can start to look weird if you do have a boy - nothing seems to be masculine at all. I also think you will have enough on your plate when the baby is coming out in the world to be told, "oh, it's a ...".

So, when the appointment came up for the sonogram, I was anxious to find out what was sharing my body. Hopefully, the baby would cooperate! There are few times when the fetus inside becomes camera shy and the technician can't determine the sex. Hopefully, that wouldn't happen to me.

Now, before getting a sonogram - you have to have a full bladder. So, all day I was guzzling water and hoping that I wouldn't need to hit the bathroom before the appointment. I felt like I was going to explode waiting in the doctor's office - knowing that any pressure on my belly was going to cause an accident. The nurse calls my name and I shuffle to the examination room. The lights go out and the cold gel is spread on my belly. Jeremy is standing beside me, holding my hand. I am looking straight ahead - hoping that the sonogram doesn't take too long or I'm going to flood the room! The technician hits a couple of buttons on the computer and places the instrument on me. Then she asks, "Do you want to see your baby?" I turn my head and see... a black circle on the fuzzy screen. Oh, this is nice - I can't see a thing. The technician is moving the instrument all around on my belly, occasionally looking at me with a smile. I still only see this circle. This is worst than I imagined. TV lied - there was no baby shape that you could vaguely see. My imagination couldn't stretch that far to understand that this circle was a baby. I finally ask, "What am I looking at?"

"The top of the baby's head."

"Oh." That made sense. Suddenly, I understood the purpose of the sonogram. The technician takes measurements of the baby's head and abdomen - to determine how far along you are in the pregnancy. She measured the head circumference, the belly circumference, the femur length, the humerus length. She took a good look at the skull and the heart. I even got to see the inside of the heart beating - to make sure the valves were closing properly. Now, I was seeing a baby shape on the screen. I could see the arm waving back and forth at the camera and seeing the baby almost suck its thumb. I could watch her twist around all because the technician pressed on the side of my belly in order for her to take measurements.

Finally, after measuring just about everything that you could imagine on the body, the technician asks if we want to know the sex of the baby. "Yes" we both reply. She zooms on the lower abdomen and points out three white marks. These white marks are bones - bones that only girls have. We're having a girl! I look at Jeremy and see this shocked look on his face. I think it finally hit him that we are having a baby and it's a girl.

I definitely think it is worth while finding out what you are having. It makes that movement in the belly seem more personal. You can start addressing the baby bump by its name. Oh, the wonders of being pregnant.

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Hey, the baby is kicking!

Written by Valerie Webb on Jun 28, 2008

Reading through my many books and magazines on being pregnant - I knew that the crucial time period was here when any minute, I would feel the movement of the baby. Most women start to feel movement anywhere between 18-22 weeks. I believe the tighter your abdomen is - the longer it might take to feel anything. I had heard from some that they could feel something around 16 weeks but all the individuals who mentioned this were on their second child - they could recognize the feelings and interpret them correctly. For me - I was approaching my 20th week and nothing yet. I wasn't worried yet - I did pilates and felt my stomach was in pretty good shape.

As I sit down - it is almost second nature to rest a hand on my belly. It seems just as good as any other place to rest your hands. I would spread my fingers out and wonder - what will it feel like when it happens? Will the movement be a sharp jab of pain in my side or feel like gas? Has it already happened and I haven't realized it? Maybe that was the real reason for the hand placement - to be sure I didn't miss anything. As the days passed in that week - I contemplated my next upcoming appointment with the doctor. Should I ask about not feeling anything? Should I start to be worried? Had something happened to the fetus? With this line of thoughts, I quickly did become more and more worried! Why wasn't this baby kicking?

That Friday, I was sitting at my office computer working. Hunched over, resting my chin on my hand, I was scanning the monitor when I noticed this flutter in my belly. Out of habit, I just leaned back in the chair and continued working. A few moments passed and again, that flutter. It is very difficult to explain how this flutter felt. Not like gas because it occurred in an area that you just don't have gas in. Not a stomach grumble - a bit too much to the right of my stomach. No pain - so not a cramp. I placed my hand on my belly and sat still. A few minutes went by (felt like an eternity) and was contemplating removing my hand when again, that flutter. A quick jab, jab. A small movement that felt like it was starting from the inside and working its way out. The baby! It was finally kicking! Tears came to my eyes as I just stared down at my belly. I was finally feeling the baby and no wonder! I had been hunched over for who knows how long! I was probably crushing the baby inside.

I think that if anyone had come to my office, they would of seen a strange sight. Sitting in the middle of my office with tears in my eyes and the largest smile on my face - just staring at my belly. I would have been worried if I saw that of one of my colleagues. It only happened for a few minutes, then stopped. That evening, I told my husband of the baby's movement. I felt a bit ashamed that he hadn't experienced it yet - like I was hogging this precious moment. He wasn't worried though - he knew that with upcoming months, the baby would start kicking the crap out me and my bladder. Jeremy felt he would have plenty of time to feel the movement. He was just happy for the both of us - that we were having a baby!

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How to try on maternity clothes

Written by Valerie Webb on Jun 21, 2008

Finally the time has come when I must go shopping - necessary shopping for this pregnancy. I first realized it when I put on my favorite pair of jeans and couldn't get the button even close to around my belly. Of course, denial hit for a moment and I pulled out another pair of pants - to the same results. My belly just had gotten too big to wear my regular clothes. Now, I have had these belly bands that sit around your waist simply to cover up the exposed buttons or snaps. I had also tried the other methods of extending your regular clothes - rubber bands or safety pins. But the time had come when you just don't feel confident walking around with your pants gaping around your waistline. So, simply put - I went shopping.

I had looked at maternity clothes online at some of my favorite stores. This is my first child and I really didn't know how to shop for clothes when I am no where near my largest point. I felt it really important to physically go to the stores and try on these clothes - where you might feel like a beached whale in a robe. So I went to Motherhood Maternity in the mall. I was impressed the moment I walked in. These were fashionable styles - nice patterns and colors. I browsed first just around the racks and looked at summer shorts, business attire slacks, and loose fitting blouses. All the styles looked just like what you would find in the non-pregnant sections. Maybe this wasn't going to be as humiliating as I thought.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had many people tell me that they had maternity clothes they could lend me or to go to GoodWill for clothes. Why spend a lot of money on clothes that you would just wear for a short time? I hate to say but I saw some of these offered clothes and they were styles that maybe were fashionable for pregnant women in the 1960's. Weird pattern plaids and stiff collars, little embroidered flowers and cradles, not to mention the loose fitting dress that you can picture on elderly women with purple hair. I appreciated the offers but when it comes to dressing in public - I like to choose my own clothes. If I am going to be wearing these clothes during my most awkward stage, where my emotions are on a roller coaster - I insist on wearing clothes that I feel comfortable in and look good. If that means spending money on clothes that could be packed up in a short time - then so be it!

So, I started looking at labels and sizes in the store and to my surprise - you choose your pre-pregnancy size to fit. That sounded good to me. I had a fear that I would start with XL and work my way up to EXXL (elephant extra extra large size) by the time the baby came. In my arms went a few pairs of shorts and jeans, pants and shirts and off to the fitting room I went. Now, most fitting rooms have a bench to set down your bags and hooks for the clothes to be tried on. At least one mirror graces a wall (if not several that make it seem you are surrounded by mirrors). This fitting room had one additional feature that I just couldn't resist trying. Hanging off one of the hooks was a pillow with a strap to wrap around your waist. Here was an item that would show you how your clothes would look with that big belly. Now, even though I had a small baby bump already, I couldn't resist putting that pillow on! I threw on the first shirt and instant big belly look. I looked really to pop and looked good to boot with a thick strap tie die halter of pink and purple. High waist and long past my waist. This wasn't as bad or scary as I thought shopping for these styles was going to be.

Next, I whipped on a pair of jeans. Now, with maternity clothes - you don't have zippers and buttons. The pants must be quickly removed for those times when your bladder is quite full. You can't waste time fiddling around with clasps or buttons - you might pee your pants. In place of these is an elastic band that sits over your waist. Some styles have the band going mid-waist - which is pretty comfortable. Not much different than some high waist pants that some wear. Other maternity pants have this fully belly band that comes completely over your belly - almost all the way up to your bra! Again, I think for those weeks when you are really huge - it has the expansion for the growing belly. When you aren't that far along, though, the fully belly band can feel a bit uncomfortable and hot. My advice - try both styles on.

Now, the pair of jeans looked good even with the fully belly band. I just folded the extra material down over itself a bit - and with the pink halter top, I had a good looking outfit. I twisted and turned in the mirror to see myself from all angles and decided that maternity shopping is fun - just as fun as shopping for regular clothes. With a smile on my face, I chose a couple more outfits and hung back the pillow. I'm not going to need that much longer but I think it is a good feature to play with when in the fitting room. Have fun and who cares about the life expectancy of these clothes. A pregnant woman must look good at all times!

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Belly Bump

Written by Valerie Webb on Jun 14, 2008

When I determined I was pregnant, I went through a lot of emotions. Disbelief, excitement, misery, tears and smiles - I felt it all. I would sit back and think about my condition and how it would change my life. I couldn't believe that I was going through this! All I felt was mainly misery - being sick constantly does not do wonders for your self esteem. Maybe this was all a fluke! Maybe I just did that pregnancy test wrong! Maybe I just had the flu really bad!

I continued to doubt I was pregnant until I heard it confirmed by my doctor. Since that moment, I was a bit impatient for results to show. Okay, if I was going to suffer - let me have something to show for my troubles. Let people see me and nod with sympathy that yes, she was pregnant with morning sickness. Really, my idea of pregnancy was the waddling mothers with huge bellies. So huge, that any minute, the mother seemed that she could go into labor. Everywhere I went, I saw pregnant women with obvious signs of carrying life inside. That is what you usually see when you think of pregnant people. With me, though, it was different. I wasn't gaining weight - I was losing it due to morning sickness. There was no baby bump. In fact, I was losing my ass as well as weight in my face.

As the weeks dragged by, I slowly made my way through the sickness and started to feel better around 14 weeks. By my 16th week - there was the tiniest bump on my stomach. Could it be signs of the baby or evidence of my dinner that night? By week 18 - there was a bump. Finally! There were the signs that I was pregnant.....or just gaining weight. I wasn't big enough yet to consider shopping for larger clothes. I could still fit in most of my pants. Most of my shirts were loose enough that no one else could see the bump. All of the sudden, maybe this baby bump wasn't so neat. It wasn't like a neon sign that I was pregnant - it gave me the strongest desire to exercise and maybe stop eating. In fact, it felt like a tumor. The bump was hard to touch and protruding enough that your clothes felt too tight. In fact, bending over to pick something up that dropped was an inconvenience! I would have the greatest desire to unzip my pants so I could comfortably lean over without the fear of ruining my backside. This was not fun but annoying. Why did it always seem that there was nothing great about being pregnant!

To help my sinking feelings, I went shopping. I purchased three bands of material called Belly Bands. They slip over your waist line to help cover your exposing stomach or the fact that you might not be able to button your jeans. Underneath another shirt - it just appeared as I was double layering my clothes. The only annoyance was the feel of additional material gathered around my midline. I kept tugging at the belly band to try and pull it off my stomach. I also kind of doubted the ability of the belly band keeping my zipper up. If you can't button that button - what is keeping your pants from falling around your knees? I kept sliding a hand down the front of me to check that, yep, that zipper was still up and the belly band was covering my pants adqueately.

In the long run, the belly bands were helpful. It was becoming very annoying that more and more of my pants were shrinking. There were only a few more weeks left of school and I did not want to shop for maternity clothes suitable for wearing to work when my summer vacation was going to start any day.

Another godsend was the fashion for summer. Blouses and shirts were high waist and looser around the midline. It was almost as someone high in the fashion world was pregnant as well - so she designed the clothes to her comfort. Now, I could buy clothes that I could still wear after the baby was born. I could shopping in regular stores and hit those sales racks!

It is funny - when I wear these new shirts, my ever growing stomach is fully displayed. All of sudden, that annoying bump is starting to show for what it is - a baby bump. People notice and exclaim over how much they like my new maternity clothes. And I smiled - because I know the truth! They aren't maternity clothes but fashions that many would be wearing. As if they show that they could be pregnant as well. With my belly bands and new tops, I could dress comfortable and be happy that I was finally showing the world that soon, I would be a new mom.

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What if my baby is deformed?

Written by Valerie Webb on Jun 9, 2008

If you decide to become pregnant, I believe that you should be cautious about what you decide to read or listen to during those 9 months. I usually don't watch the news because it can be really depressing to see how violent of a society we live in. Murder rates on the rise, wars overseas, rising gas costs! So, I tend to focus on the entertainment and gossip columns and try to be ignorant of the world's crisis. However, I have found my eyes traveling more and more to the health columns - searching for articles that related to pregnancy.

One such article was that low birth babies, especially baby girls, are more likely at risk for autism. Experts don't know why but it seems that pre-mature or low birth weight turns on genetic markers that inhibits development in the children. That is one major fear that I had against being pregnant. What if there is something wrong when my child is born? I see these Dateline shows where there are families trying to cope with disabled children. I see students in my school who struggle to comprehend tasks that we do without even thinking about. I have always thought to myself that those parents are incredibly strong to wake up every morning and get out of bed with determination. That there are parents that give up everything to give their disabled child as normal of a life as possible. I think to myself - there is no way that I could do that. I'm not strong enough to carry those burdens without falling.

As I read these health articles, I find myself thinking why are there so many articles of what could go wrong with your child? Don't drink that coffee when your pregnant because it could seriously mess up your fetus! Don't exercise too much because it might shake the baby too much - unless you are already a heavy exercise freak. It's probably safe then. How could there have been anyone who survived labor or even carried to term since scientists have become active in finding what is dangerous for pregnant women? If you do everything right - you could still go into pre-mature labor and give birth a month early. Then what? Should you panic that you will have another Rain man on your hands.

Okay - I have just been told that I am just a tad bit perismistic and maybe I am. I worry about what I can't control and like to put forth my judgement on just about any topic. I am also very quick to bash the news media. It infuriates me when top stories are voicing the opposite opinion that the same anchors had the previous night. Maybe that is why I avoid the news - its depressing and makes me so angry about what the news stations will talk about. If they are going to publish articles on what could damage your unborn child - it would be nice if they wait for the studies to conclude.

Negative view points aside - I try to do all that is right by my unborn child. I continue to watch what I eat and to make sure I get that extra bit of protein. I take my pre-natal vitamins - which let me say does wonders for your hair and nails! I ask what medications are safe to take and what isn't because it isn't about me any longer. It is about my child and making sure that he or she is safe inside me. And God willing, my child will be born perfect.

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The Quad test - is it right for you?

Written by Valerie Webb on May 31, 2008

One ritual to being pregnant is the visits to the doctors. At the beginning, you travel to the doctors every 4 weeks - the first visit being the longest. That is where the doctor asks all the personal history questions - is there diabetes in the family, have you ever smoked and for how long, do you own cats? I think that this last question was a good one - you see, I had four cats when I found out I was pregnant. When you are expecting - you can't clean out litter boxes due to a nasty bacteria called Toxoplasmosis. To healthy adults, it is no big deal. To the unborn fetus - it can be fatal. So, all the scooping fell to my husband - no complaints from my end.

At the first visit, the doctor also handed me a worksheet of various medical tests that I needed to decide whether I would endure or not. Most of these tests would take place later on in the pregnancy - but I guess that the office wanted to know now whether I was willing. Most of these tests are genetic based - which means the child will be screwed if they get that dreadful gene from both my husband and I. One of the tests was called the "Quad Screen test". It comprises of blood work - mainly to test if the baby will have Down Syndrome or Spinal bifida. The doctor goes on to explain the test and some cons about it - like the test could give a 25% false positive so it isn't very accurate. But, evidently it is mandatory in some states so people have placed some importance on this test.

Jeremy started to interrogate the doctor. "So, if we decide to do this test, it could give a false positive that our baby has Down Syndrome?" The doctor nodded yes, but went on a detailed explanation about nothing in regards to this false positive. "And if we get this positive result, what are our options?" Again, the doctor goes on a detailed explanation that almost made you want to reach out and shake her - SPEAK ENGLISH! I don't understand all this medical terminology to why I shouldn't panic about a positive result. "So, the only options really are to accept the reality that the baby could have Down Syndrome or terminate?" A nod from the doctor. Jeremy and I looked at each other and quietly spoke - that is not an option from us. So, the visit went on.

I learned what exactly my insurance covered. A lovely 36 hour stay in the hospital - starting from when I show up. So, I guess I shouldn't have a long labor? Unless I have a C-section - then I get a few more hours. Oh, the relief. All visits are covered unless I have an emergency - then I have to pay for the visit. So a severe cramp or a boo-boo on the arm will cost me money at the doctors. Then I was off to the lab for blood work and that wonderful experience to pee in a cup. Why there hasn't been some invention created where you don't have to hover and blindly aim for a cup under you - I ask the creative minds out there!

Oh, and I forgot the other experience at that first visit - the pap smear. Jeremy went with me on the visit and that was his first experience at witnessing this.

The second visit was short and sweet. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat - which was cool. I got weighed to see if I was gaining any weight (I wasn't due to morning sickness. I was actually losing weight - a wonderful diet puking your stomach contents every day). And again, the doctor's urging about that Quad test. I was by myself and felt I was almost getting the guilt trip. "I really feel it is a good idea to have the test done. It helps us plan." This is from the doctor. I'm thinking - plan about what? A panicky mother who thinks she will have deformed baby after getting a positive which might be a lie? I shrugged my shoulders and was told that I would have to decide by my next visit.

At sixteen weeks - the time had come. To test and be stressed or to simply allow the pregnancy to happen the way God intended and not to worry. I will admit - I was a bit worried I would be guilt driven into saying yes to the test - although we had decided that I did not need it. My first trimester was rough enough and I wanted to enjoy this pregnancy. The doctor comes in. I forgot to mention that this was a 3 doctor practice - so I had seen a different doctor so far with each visit. This doctor looks at my chart and calmly asks if I wanted the test with his back to me. "No." The doctor turns around and smiles, then says "Okay."

I knew I wouldn't terminate so why stress about something you can't control? I know I will have a perfect baby because it will be my baby. So - any new soon-to-be mothers out there need to ask what is more important - results to a less than perfect test or knowing that you are experiencing the greatest gift in life - having a baby.

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One bonus: bigger breasts

Written by Valerie Webb on May 28, 2008

Sometimes, when you're pregnant - you want the good times to just come rolling in. After all - every one tells you that it is wonderful being pregnant. You are supposed to glow with every moment. I have this book called "Your Pregnancy week by week". I turn each page with anticipation of what I could expect in the coming days. So far - the book has been accurate. I have experienced the sickness, the fatigue, the increase in naps. But for some reason, I keep waiting for that one thing to happen - the confirmation that wonderful times were coming. I was waiting for the physical changes to the body.

With each passing week - the book describes how the baby is developing. Growing in size, developing leg and arm buds, ears moving to normal position, how certain organs start to function. You can also read how your body is changing. For the first 14 weeks - there was no physical change except one. For my husband, Jeremy - I guess it was an important one. My boobs got bigger. I went up two cup sizes. For me - I didn't know how to feel about this. I liked my boob size - I was as large as I wanted to be. I guess my size is pretty common because it is always difficult to find my size in the colors that I like. When you become pregnant though, it is different. They get large - er very quickly. And my dilemma grows.

When you become pregnant, you know that you face that moment when eventually you will have to go shopping - for maternity clothes. There are plenty of web sites out there that have pages of fashionable maternity clothes. I have been told that it is pretty hip to dress like you are pregnant - that maternity clothes aren't like they use to be 10 or 20 years ago. Where I guess then you felt like you were dressed in a tent. Now - all the styles make you look pregnant. High waists and billowy sleeves - all in today's style. However, it seems that you can not go shopping for a maternity bra until you have pretty much given birth. Maternity bras seem to have dual purposes - they also function as nursing bras. And when you are only 14 weeks pregnant - the sales representatives laughs at you when you ask for these. You see - I am no where even close to the size I will be further along this "wonder" time.

So, when the going gets tough - I go shopping...at Victoria's Secret. I had to go to the largest size they carry in the store (please - that isn't that large in other stores) to find a comfortable bra. Of course, when I found that full demi with three clasps in the back (oh the horror) - I had to get two. I can't wear just one bra for another 26 weeks. So - my first "maternity shopping" for bras - cost $100. The experience of having the sales representative ask if I wanted a free measurement - priceless. Well, on second thought - maybe hearing the phrase that Victoria's Secret was starting to carry maternity bras as well was the priceless thing - until I saw the price. No such luck.

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Pregnancy Sickness

Written by Valerie Webb on May 19, 2008

There is this phenomenon with being pregnant - something that about 60% of women go through. It has a misleading name - one that helps you think positively, I suppose. It is called Morning Sickness. What I believe to be the dark side of pregnancy. For me, it started at approximately 6 weeks being pregnant. Of course - I'm getting ahead of the story.

I had just done the math and determined that I was a week late. Since my husband, Jeremy and I decided to try to become pregnant, I mentally jumped into the deep end of trying. I calculated my days and researched basal temperatures. I read just about every article and piece of advice to help your body become that haven for fertilization. To which, it seemed, to no avail. Months would go by with no results. Of course - I stayed determined. I had read it might take 12 to 18 months to become pregnant after using birth control. I was still within that range - no worries. Then, from one casual comment from Jeremy, I counted back and determined I was late. Could it be? Possibly? I went shopping - for a pregnancy test. Now - that experience was a bit overwhelming in itself. All the choices - to use a cup or a stick, the prices, plus signs or triple lines! I went with the cheapest. Then, placing that test product on the counter in front of a girl who looked to be in high school. For me - this was a bit uncomfortable since I am a high school teacher - but the cashier wasn't one of my students. After paying for the pregnancy test, I sat in the parking lot to read the directions. I have no idea why I didn't wait to get home - it wasn't like I was going to try complete it there. I read that morning was the best time for the most accurate results. So, come morning - came the juggling and hovering so that I didn't make a mess - to see positive results before I had a chance to even comprehend what I was doing! I was pregnant. I was excited and nervous at the same time. I shook Jeremy awake to tell him the good news - he probably thought it was a dream at first. Imagine waking to be told you're going to be a dad! I was happy. We were going to have a baby! Then, I got sick.

Morning sickness does not happen always in the morning. No - it happens ALL THE TIME! At first, it was mild nausea. Enough to know - wow, I'm really going through this. Another piece to confirm the good news. Then, it slowly got worse: the smell of food forcing me to leave the room, the constant churning and the panic feeling when a trash can wasn't within close range. The lack of energy except when you had to go running for any close container. To top it all - the praying to the porcelain gods and deciding if this was the moment when I would die. I think really the only good that can come from the first trimester of being pregnant - it is the best diet in the world. I lost 11 pounds! Granted - I think I also lost all my taste buds but oh, how I hated being this sick.

Of course - slowly we began to tell people that Jeremy and I were expecting a new addition to our family. The excitement and congrads from everyone - to which I could care less. When you are completely miserable and thinking that you aren't going to make it another day, much less 5 more weeks of being sick - you just can't care. But there was one thing that I believe made the whole experience about the worse time of my life. Every time I would tell someone I was pregnant and really suffering from morning sickness - they would sympthaze for a moment and then tell me, of course, that they never went through being sick when they were pregnant. They just felt a bit more tired than usual. And I will say that you won't get any sympathy from your doctor as well. At 10 weeks of being pregnant ( and 4 weeks of being sick) - I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I called the doctor to say I couldn't take it anymore! The doctor comes into the examination room, asks how you are feeling - to which you pour out your soul about feeling miserable, throwing up all the time, losing the weight, not even able to drink water due to the weird taste in your mouth. And his response, "I know its bad. Just try a bit harder at taking it easy. You are only at 10 weeks - just a few more weeks to go." Oh, how I considered the ways I could hurt that doctor or how many times I could throw up on him. I believe it would be an improvement to that white coat of his.

So, I warn all those considering going through this wonderful time of your life that there is a dark side of being pregnant. Not everyone goes through morning sickness - and if you don't, please take pity on us who do. Just don't tell us. Because it is a wonderful way of gaining the resentment of those who are suffering.

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